go listen to 'tested and true' by secondhand serenade. :D
lmao!
i am a scamp. note to self:
enough.
Note To Self:
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR! I CANT BELIEVE IM IM MOVING HOUSE TMR! IM MOVING HOUSE TMR! it's like a dream come true Note To Self:
okay, i dont have anymore to say alrdy.
i cant even keep track of anything anymore oh yea, i hate my life.
anyway, silhouette clothing has updated the site.
by the way, i dont take normal chinese. Note To Self:
anyway,
Sunday, June 11, 2006
just thought i'd put up some recent photos.
andy: that's the face i like to see you wearing. (: glad you're better now.
paul: hope you're okay now. please dont emo all. you have all of us (me, elias, ashley, cc, tiantian, majo, your family, etc.) with you always yea? this idol thing is what you wanted, so just enjoy it while it lasts. so just remember to call if you need to talk about anything okay. yes, we do miss you very much.
yea, and im just feeling a wee bit narcissistic today. that explains the first pic. haha.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
wow. im amazed how you could put a lie on the net so openly. of course only a naive kid like me would believe whatever a sneaky old bastard like you told me. from the excuses you gave to this. not very honest from the start were you? wait, you dont have to answer that. you just totally contradicted yourself. you say im self justifying (a "saint" <-- seems like your favourite word to use to try to make someone look bad). you meet a girl and you tell her things to assure her you do like her, and now you say you never did like her. stop being such a coward. you think everyone thinks you're perfect. you think you're perfect, with your guitars, money and the genre of music you are into (im not saying indie is bad, you just think it makes you somewhat more matured/cool/whateverbull. HA!). you think i'd never read this? you think i'd keep it quiet or confront you personally? damn, if you could just set a big fat lie out like that to make yourself a "saaaaaint", then i dont mind telling you and everyone openly that you're just a creep. maybe your friends believe you, but i dont think you have many REAL friends in the first place, even your current close friends think there's something wrong with you. come on, you're practically 23, you hang out with people years younger than you. looks like your old schoolmates dont miss you as much as you miss them, and maybe when you stop lying and pretending to like/love someone, you'd have one less ex girlfriend in your little chart where you mark how many girls you've slept/dated/made out with. why are you even writing an entry about this when you say you DONT care (though after reading it this has provided me with some sort of emotional and mental stimulation)? when you have the guts to tell the truth and not half truths, maybe your penis would grow bigger from that pathetic party packed supermarket hotdog that it is now.
hmmm, i guess that's why you chose to write it all in third party. that's not being very direct now is it?
okay, and im too lazy to post anymore pictures or what. cause im also uploading them into my yahoo account. mhmmmm.
and recently, i've been hearing funky rumours about myself. woot. i dont get why people who are supposedly older and more matured are just so sad. okay, shall not generalise. yes, im pinpointing a few, and to be exact a few jc kids and a few people i sorta know. i dont get why telling each other that nat sleeps around is fun and entertaining. juicy, yes. but srsly. like come up with better gossip in the forum please. maybe nat ate a sock, or nat made out with a lampost, or nat humped her fender bass amp, or nat doesnt give a flying fuck about anything this funky anymore. i cant care who knows about what i did/didnt do anymore. i mean, if you want to confirm things, just come ask me lah, since you're that kaypoh. gawwwd.
okay, that's about it. my legs and my ass hurt. ):
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
anyways, here are some songs that somehow relate to how i feel/makes me feel better:
new american classic - taking back sunday
the song of songs - inhidings (shaun emo leong's band. haha.)
a lonely september - the plain white t's
suicide note - disagree
broken heart (acoustic) - dashboard confessional
there went the world - number one fan
i wont spend another night alone - the ataris
california - copeland
erm, okay. yea, i havent been listening to any screamy things, cause basically, nat doesnt feel angry or hurt. nat feels messed up, empty and blank. i think i better go get ready to leave my house and all. i feel like putting a picture up. but then maybe after tonight's campfire, i'd have something better to offer than whatever it is in my computer now.
getting off my chest, the story ends.
i thought you should know, you're not making this easy.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
it really sucks being wireless less. ):
Sunday, May 28, 2006
WAKE UP AT 2PM
CHECK MY LAPPY
GO DOWN FOR LUNCH
COME BACK TO MY LAPPY
FALL ASLEEP INSTEAD OF GOING TO CHURCH
CHECK MY LAPPY AGAIN
AND IM STILL WAITING FOR THE NEXT THING TO HAPPEN. HI EVERYONE, THIS IS NAT HEADING FOR HELL. I HONESTLY CANNOT WAIT FOR TMR TO COME. GOING TO SCHOOL (OR BASICALLY GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE) GIVES ME A REASON TO LIVE. I AM REALLY GOING TO DIE A FAT DISGUSTING MORON NOW AND ROT ON THE LEFT SIDE OF HELL. HAWHAW.
okay, im seriously snapping. it must be the really really BAAAAAAAD photos i took ytd. i feel quite embarrassed looking at them. i really should've tested the effects before doing this and that and focusing myself! UGH. my compulsiveness thing is catching up to me again. wootwoot. i really need to get my act together. for what, i also dont know. HAHA. cause in rp, there's noooo homework to do. HAWHAW. so like i dont find myself learning anything new or anything at all. UGH. maybe i really should consider that flower arranging course my mom has been asking me to go for. HAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW. okay. lalalalalala. i wonder what's for dinner. or maybe my dad hsa given up on feeding me. my mom and brother are in bintan. i supp to go to bintan, but cause of church (which i didnt go to in the end) and mentorship which is after school tmr, i am still in shittypore missing out on taking pretty pictures of the clean and white beaches of bintan. GAH. okay, like in a few seconds you all may go see LATEST PHOTOS for some of bismuth's gig photos. i took like daaaaaaaamn alot lah. cb. but yet it doesnt look that fantastic. STUPID SHIT NAT BRAIN ME. okay. yea. it's better to click on SLIDESHOW VIEW rather than look at them one by one yea.
so things you should do this evening if you're bored:
click on "latest photos"
go to album "BISMUTH @ westmall"
and click "slideshow view"
BUT remember to press the "stop" button cause then you can look at them leisurely,
by clicking on the "next" (>>) button of course.
YUP. okay. go knock yourselves out. BYE.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
finally it's a friday! i tell you, i havent even done my rj and it's past 11.59pm. HAHA. like a... OH SHIT. yes, im gonna get a D or smth lah. fuckk. it's like saturday alrdy. and bismuth will be gigging at westmall today at 4.45pm. yea, westmall is like bukit batok. /: and bong, im sorry i couldnt make it for your gig. ): i'll try my best to be at your next though. watched xmen at lido this evening after school. wasnt all that great though. /: but at least i wasnt like really bored. haha. that's it i guess. till tmr when i post more photos or smth.
END.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
OKAY. no morezxzxzx. yea, im going to school tmr lah. shutttuppppzx. haha. okay. night!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
anyways, i seriously think people cant read though they visit this blog so often enough to tag dumb comments. like helloooo... dont be annonymous- im not entertained by you and neither will i entertain you by feeling all hurt cause you all dislike me. dont you guys have anything better to do? grow up lah. you say im rude? like hello? you're childish and low-lifed to even visit this page only to insult me. daaaymn... FUCK OFF. i could go check your ip and trace you, but i dont. cause i honestly think you dont deserve to be looked up, and neither do i have that much spare time to. and just for the record, yes, i do hang out with guys more often than i hang out with girls these days, so if that makes me a slut, then you must be pretty superficial to judge me this way. i hope you had fun reading this entry, cause it's specially dedicated to you. so scraaaaaaaam!
okay, im done. and im like a daaaamn tired, i deserve some sleep now. good night. (:
Monday, May 22, 2006
anyways, im getting quite annoyed with the anonymous taggers on my tagboard. please ah... leave your name. especially if you have something nasty to say. do it with some guts please. dumb cunts.
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
Sunday, May 21, 2006
andy, if you get to read this. i pray that you will be okay. im really scared you did that. please know you were never alone.
Friday, May 19, 2006
anyways, im too lazy to use photo bucket to post pics here now. so just go to "latest photos" in a bit. cause im uploading the photos i took today. the album title would be "escaping rp @ sentosa". hahahaha. and donn, too bad you didnt come! ): anyways, hope your arm and everything else is okay. tmr is our stewwwpit orientation camp, which ends mega late. and that pisses me off. im still leaving at 6.45, i dont care! stupid shit. im not missing elias's gig for a camp.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
IF I TOLD YOU THAT THIS WAS KILLING ME, WOULD YOU STOP?
so drain out my lungs, before the fluid brings a choke.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
and as you can see, i have NO photos to put on this entry though i took sooo many with andy today. ARGH. fuck lah! STUPID SHIT ME. and WHY did my stupid memory card have double of EVERYTHING in the first place?! STUPID. ): im damn annoyeddd. GAHH!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
but im able to blog. ha. oh, and i have to email in my stupid writing to cheng, the scriptwriting facil, for our mentorship. i have no idea what possessed me to turn off my lappy and manually write down my piece when i was in school. ugh. now i have to transfer it into word doc and find cheng's email allll over again. /: oh well, besides that i feel like putting pictures up. 
cheers to ally, whom made it seem we would be inseparable. and to ash, whom i never thought i'd have to see everyyyydayy and is always online talking to me. HAHA.
okay, now i have to do that stewwwpit email. i kinda dont wanna send it, cause it's a little personal. /:
Monday, May 15, 2006
there are so many ways to look at a simple object like this lamp standing in my room. however, these are only four ways i came up with, cause if i were to look for more, i doubt you'd see an end to this entry. my point is, if i took the negativity given and tried to turn it around, i would've constructed an empire of improvement for myself. likewise, if i took positivity rewarded to me, i could gloat over my winnings and grow complacent over a period of time and neglect the need to prove others i could do so much better.
for you, i'd keep my chin up and my smile brighter than any lightbulb.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
SPOT THE SIMILARITIES!
hahahahahahaha. sorry, i used a camera phone to take those. so it's not as clear.
okay, and a bonus question, see if you can guess who this is. (:
no prizes though. hahahahaha. :D and donn and the other person... please dont kill me! hahahaha.
GOOD DAY! :D
okay. im in the least compassionate of moods right now.
i dont know why, but these days it feels i have a million people talking to me online and stuff. it is actually quite annoying considering how im trying to do something on the other side of my lappy and here you are demanding i entertain you. and just cause i seem nocturnal doesnt mean i dont sleep at all. like... puhhleease! okay, i dont know what's sooo fun about talking to me, considering for a long part of a convo im just saying phrases such as... 'haha, okay.' or 'hmmm, okay.' or 'oh okay' or 'okay cool' or 'wtf? haha.', etc. like... booooringgg! there is a box that has been invented over a decade or two ago called the 'television'. and of course i couldnt tell you to fuck off cause it's just dead rude and im not driven to the point that i'd tell you to, yet. the weirdest part is sometimes people ask me stupid questions on photography and other weird redundant questions. there's google, yahoo, msn.com, etc. on the internet for you all to source out your answers. im not much of a photographer or whatever you perceive me to be. and if you wanna know so much 'how i am', why dont you just come to my blog everyday and see what i say on it. i update on a more or less daily basis and im usually honest on my blog. dont worry, im not pin-pointing anyone right now. cause there are a few whom i do bother to go ahead and drop a 'hello!' on. i do appreciate the occasional sweet message that show you still care about how i am and all, though we've not been talking so often recently. and if i happen to always participate actively in your window (as in the conversation has 5 words or more in most sentences instead of 'haha's and 'oh okay's and the other examples i've given as mentioned just now), it means that i enjoy talking/like you... or maybe it's just your lucky day.
another thing i'd like to vent out now is how secondary school kids are getting more and more immatured. yes, generalising is a bad thing and i do have a handful of friends who seem fine, but for the rest of you squirts, it's like... omg! JUST GET A LIFE ALRDY, KIDS. i dont blame you guys entirely for being so... superficial actually. like how you choose your friends and all based on how "cool" they are. i guess it's pretty much the longing you get in those adolescent years and crap like that. "ooh, my friend has piercings all over his face, it's damn cool. im thinking of getting a few myself!" or "hey, you know so-and-so? that is so cool lah!" or "my friend is in a band, i must support him and be all scene like that." or "my boyfriend plays guitar/drums/bass/sings in that band and he is soo cute lah.", etc. firstly, what is it about you that you dislike sooo much your friends and all are so much hang-out worthy and you're not? oh wait, maybe cause you're so shallow and superficial that everyone else who looks "cool" and "scene" like that is worth more attention than you'll ever be. like... since when you became a shadow? ha. and what's up with controversey and all anyway? you see gay boys/girls here and there and you think it's cool?! so you make out with your best friend saying you two love each other and it's right to act all lesbian? erm... hello, earth to attentionwhore? you're not gay, so kissing (not even making out!) your best friend isnt a turn on or sexy at all. and since when being gay was ever really sexy and all anyway? it's such a novelty now, you can hardly tell if a person is really bi, or not sure, gay, straight. okay, i understand, it's that whole phase you go thru in sec school right? it's called puberty, you n00b. everyone grows out of it, so if you think it's cool to stand out/act "older" than you are, wake up now if you think all the stuff you do, is what the older "cooler" people are engaging in. you're just part of another trend. how cool is that? just concentrate on studying hard for once!
i do not appreciate comments on this post. i am merely venting and letting off some steam as usual. cause it always feels like im being heard here, though i dont exactly know who listens and who doesnt. you may have some really unhappy things to say... esp if you're one of those secondary school n00bs. but as i said before... i was generalising, and there are a handful of people who are more or less okay or have grown out of that stupid phase. if you want to object to this post, then i guess you're really guilty of being a n00b and yes, you're not really cool at all. but really, thanks for being sooo concerned about what i think. haha. you really do suck.
you can be non-conforming too, if you looked just like me.
yea, vertical rush was good. though i think i like surreal better. and yes, ashley SAN DOOKZXZ took that cool picture of me having ice cream, though i think i look like a retard when i eat. didnt get to buy any vr tees. ): and i had carls junior dinner with ash. yayza! it was quite filling i must say. and ash thinks i eat quite a lot and quite fast for a girl. HAHA. sometimes i think im meant to be a guy. fuck tup lah. hahahaha. okay no. anyways, tmr is mother's day. and there's no point trying to get anything for my mom cause she doesnt really want anything from us, and it's always super hard to get my mom presents, and now that she owns a flower shop, it's even harder to get her anything at all! /: geees. so yea, i shall make her a card later or smth. right now... i really have nothing more to say. so yea. byebye!
and i hope your majesty that you like your position
Saturday, May 13, 2006
okay, not really. i just wanted to put a pic up lah. haha. went for the surreal and vertical rush gig today at the esplande, but vertical rush got cancelled today. so tmr! :D yayza! for second chances. yup. and im damn lazy to type stuffs out... not like i have much to say today anyways, considering it is actually another dumb public holiday and there's like hardly anything to do! 'cept go for a gig of course. heh. feels so saturday lah, sorta? yea. well surreal was great as usual. I LIKE THE PROPOSAL SONG BEST, ELIAS- YOU FLUMP! so yea. HEHEZXZXZX <-- hahahaha. okay, yea. and i still dont feel like typing soo much. so i shall have one more pic which i took last week on sunday evening. (:
dont even try stealing it, cause it's been water marked by me. nyeh!
and i'll be cathing vertical rush tmr with ash. yay, vr! :D well, good night!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
okay, but i feel ten times better after typing all that out and clicking send, despite my misfortune. ): i shall then summarize... no, actually i wont. cause even my summary has too much to say. so yea, the only thing that really makes me feel uber moody now, is the fact that i still dont have my PAOPAOCHA! hahahahaha. i want a strawberry ice blended, i dont care how gay it is cause colin and kero always indulge in it. hahahahhahahaha. I WANT A GHEY PAOPAOCHA!
ugh. /:
i had a habit of dying.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
tmr there's another UT to do. lucky for me, it's definitely not math or science. i actually hope we shuffle groups tmr for enterprise. ugh. complicated why so. and im hoping tmr will be a good day. cause im certainly having the stupid mid week blues, but i cant stand the fact that friday is a public holiday AGAIN. ugh. my stupid internet connection at home sucks today. stupid stupid STUPID shit. oh look, dc again! dumb shit. okay, im just moody pissy grumpy me. GAH! and i promise NOTHING can cheer me up at this point of time. cause im just too pissy. oh yea, and i have to go back to ij tmr to get my olevel cert during my lunch. woodlands is really kinda far from toa payoh. sigh. fuck tuppp. and i just dont have anyone to complain to... or at least right now im just keeping it inside cause i think it's stupid to type it alllll out here for people to read. yea, i just gotta let the world know im all pissy today.
well, i hope your week isnt shit like mine.
rocks tonic juice magic
heart is on the floor, why dont you just step on it?
when i think of all the things you've done.
-saves the day
im feeling emo, but im not emo. so just fuck off!
Monday, May 08, 2006
yes hello. today was pretty weird. in the morning i felt grumpy cause i had to rush out and i forgot my socks, so i was too lazy to go to my room to get it, and wore slippers instead. my allowance wasnt settled properly either. sheesh! so yea. reached the mrt pretty late, plus, donn decided not to come to school since she was late. donn, you really gotta wake yourself up and get your act together now please! ): yea, felt kinda crummy till like 9.30am. cause when i opened my LEO (some funky RP online thing to check my daily grades and assignments, etc.), i found out i got an A on my communications for last week. ((((: yes, my first A! :D well, was pretty euphoric for like a few hours till i had a crap lunch. cause my sore throat hurts like bitch when i eat anything spicy. haha, yes, serves me right for being sooo stewwwpitt, right? sorry lah. gees. we had to sign up for our orientation prog during lunch break today. and the stupid lian sitting behind the lappy couldnt pronounce my name right. what nitaliawhatwhatWHAT?! stupid bitch. anyways! yea, was pretty okay in class before the lecturer took like extra half an hour break for herself. in fact i was a bit mad and fell off my chair while pretending to be a bat, cause they insisted on turning the lights in class off, i felt like i was in some cave. HAHAHAHA. shut up. yea, then the presentation was fucking crap and finally we got to leave! YAYZA. but i had to stay back for rp's art school first year students mentorship programme. it's actually a production of a play. from script writing to producing to performing. i dont know yet what i'll be doing specifically, but we all get a chance, it kinda helps you build your portfolio. the timetable is quite tight. and i'll be staying back in school for like practically this whole week till about 7 or 7.30pm. yup, so i've committed myself to this for the next three months. (: oh yea, and just so you know, it will actually be performed at the Singapore Art Museum, Woodlands CC and RP itself.
met chris and shaun and headed to the library. we were slightly late, and this time it wasnt my fault. haha. honestly, i think people in the art/design school (at rp and where ever) are just damn mad or damn enthu. i dont think im rather enthu, due to my introvertness (if there's such a word). so basically i stuck to chris, shaun and chris's classmate, amir, the whole time. and i did realise that i have to go thru the whole "make new friends" thing again. yes, more funky names that i cannot remember! /: it was kinda interesting actually... meeting cheng, our facil for scriptwriting. what outlandish roly-poly apples, chlorophyllic piles of iparella, grumpy red mullet all. hahaha. there was this whole list of things describing a market in Ueno, Japan. yup and then we had to describe a picture we had in our minds, like it was talking to us. pretty interesting. and i think i shall put it up here. it's worth sharing i guess?
In this one you are standing with your left hand on your lower back, with your head held up towards the sky and your legs wide apart and your body arched back, your right hand is the stand for your microphone as you sing your lungs out. Each bead of perspiration that lines your forehead glistens as the red and violet spotlights fix themselves on centre stage. I cannot tell if the flashes I had seen were from other photographers or merely childhood memories. The crowd is at your feet like a sea of rioters punching the air and screaming every lyric that falls from your lips and caressed by your voice, all participating to grace your swansong, before you take flight to where the Aborigines are natives and the silhouette of a kangaroo salutes the largest island on our blue planet.
yea, well the pic is of nigel at the doubleyellowline gig. it was one of his last gigs with 4th avenue held at the youth park on 19th nov 2005. yes, i still remember the date and all. cause as he was proclaiming to everyone on his msn nickname, "an unforgettable gig!". anyways, nigelly, (: if you happen to read this, please know we cant wait till july when you come back. :D i miss you!
that's about it for today. tmr there's science UT. and i havent studied jack. /: i only can hope i wake on time and that the test wont be too difficult. though i think it's open book? hmmm. well, good night, everyone! tmr's another long day with my mentorship prog and all.
btw, i scored another A for enterprise! (: that's TWO As on that week for me. :D heh heh!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
just look at ally's face. HAHA!
anyways, i miss you both very very much. (:
Friday, May 05, 2006
well, sort of...
ANYWAYS. today was and is still totally shitty (refer to prev post). my throat is still hurting and as sore as how it was since 11am. i have no idea hwo a sore throat could creep up on me like that. oh well, sucks lah. i have done everything in my power to soothe an get rid of my sore throat, except indulge in an after-dinner chocolate fudge cake. yes, i know, so much for drinking gallons of water and gargling my mouth with warm salt water. but i needed to have a slice so so sooo badly, though i had like two slices last night. and it felt good on my throat too, it was so smooth and not too rich as it slid down my gullet. fwaaaaaa. yes, i was having a chocolate orgasm for like five minutes. so like now that temporary high is gone, im just sitting here wondering what the fuck to do on a friday evening on my own. i dont know why, but i just wanted to be alone today. /: elias, cc, heider and gang are out now at esplanade hanging out or smth. while i sit here thinking about the last two months or so of my life. and i realise i havent actually said much/summarized it all properly. so yea, here goes nothing...
school + social life
im getting used to school, though i dislike a certain someone that i have to see on thursdays/fridays due to being forced into a team with him. and i dont like doing math or science in poly cause it's a fucking joke and the teachers are not nice. i realise i dont really like the female teachers in my school. i like doing enterprise skills best cause i understand the teacher and it's pretty easy and would sorta help me out in future. SORTA. so yea. oh, and the dude never gives me Cs, not yet at least. so yea. it's coolza. :D i made quite a few friends, though most of them are merely accquaintances/class colleagues. yes... class colleagues. cause we only work together in teams on certain days in class. nyehh. i've realised what weird people there are in this world ever since rp. and though some of them are alright and sorta cute, there are just those like "chevyyy" who really knows how to take the piss and shove it up yours. oh yea, and whenever you smoke in the stairs, there's a friggin annoying announcement that goes on for at least ten minutes telling you not to smoke. and it doesnt just say, 'please do not smoke on the campus'. it's a bloody long national day message telling you not to harm the environment and keeping it clean and i dunno what the fuck else! gawwwd. but overall, im glad donn's in the same school, and ash too. and yes chris, im glad i've met you too, but it's mainly cause i know ash lah. AND I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAG. haha. i havent seen ally for quite a while actually. okay, i saw her a week ago, but it's not like we hang out that often anymore. so yea. phooey. i wonder how it's like over at green... how is claire and nicole, tessa, hetts, josh, kkb, shaun, etc., etc. well, i miss you all.
home
things are okay, im not sure what's been up with my parents or anything, cause i come home at around 5.30pm - 6pm everyday after school. and i spend most of my time locked up in my room and doing stuffssss on my lappy. like right now. but seriously, there's nothing to do in my house. and im not helping out in the shop, cause i just feel weird around the employees. okay, i still have that weird problem of feeling comfortable around people i dont know and stuff. gah!
my "love" life
it's pretty non-existent if you noticed. there are no more sad or extremely cheerful song lyrics on my blog. things have happened in such a short time, unfortunately things died out quite fast too. up till now, im not really sure if i did the right thing. but im positive whatever has been done will blow over on the other party's part... cause that's how it always is isnt it? yup, so i guess as long as he's fine and im managing, it will be okay. i doubt im being missed anyways. and i noticed everyone has been breaking up or smth recently, what's up with that? donn and i actually made a song out of it. 'tis the season to be single! falalalalalalalala!. yea, lame i know, but we do funky things in school when we're together alone. wootwoot. HAHA. so yea. nyehh. the rest of it is just a secret (and im NOT referring to donn now).
her black despondency + band matters
well, bryan is resigning as rhythm guitarist. so we will be looking out for a new one. and i dont care if mr ee himself reads this but i think it was pretty inconsiderate of him to not tell us personally he wanted out of the band. just look at his stupid msn nickname. like helloooo? you could just tell us or smth instead of letting us discover it for ourselves. /: what if we all didnt have internet or we didnt see you come online? have you left your brain somewhere else again? like srsly. GROW UP!!!!!! and im actually thinking of an indie band. ALLY, HETTS, WHERE THE HELL ARE BOTH OF YOU? oh yea, i remember our problem... DRUMMER. ugh. so yea, we're as good as non-existent. and honestly, im not really interested in forming a band with people im not that close to... like my classmates who are begging me to be bassist. but really, i just dont think i could form a band with people of too different opinions and all, and we still dont have a drummer anyway. gees. /:
personal asssignments/portfolio building
i've joined his mentorship programme in school that is for all first year students in the school of technology and arts (STA)... or smth technology with arts dunnowhat lah. it's actually a production for a play. so we'll be doing stuff like script writing, performing, sound, stage management, lighting, etc. and im pretty excited about it cause it's gonna be for like three months and after school on most weekdays. so i wont be so bored, plus i get to meet more people who are in the STA. (: so far i know chris, shaun and bird have signed up. so yea, yay! i know peoples. yup. i havent been taking many photos recently for gigs or anything, apart from random snapshots that are not gallery worthy at all. cause paul and elias have been pretty busy with their own stuff (paul = potential sg idol, elias = potential o'level 6 pointer). so yea, through the discord hasnt been gigging and that means, im a starving artist. well, sorta. BUT i have more jobs now! haha. okay, it's more like i've been recently recruited as bismuth's photographer too by chris. (: so for any upcoming bismuth shows, i'll be there. im only a novice at photography, so i just hope to do a lot better than expected. and im actually thinking of giving up bass to get a camera and do a short course or smth. /: well, yea... i just really wanna do better in design and stuff better than any design student where ever they would be from. donn if you read this, that includes you too! haha. honestly, though i take lots of band pics, i actually prefer taking skylines, sunsets, scenery and things with concepts in them. rather than miscellaneous objects or things like that. so i guess im planning to take a trip down/up to somewhere soon to take some good photos with the nikon. and if i went to arab street again, IM DEFINITELY BRINGING MY NIKON and going before it gets dark. anyone interested in accompanying me? call me!
things im looking forward to this month:
more band photography... i hope, im actually not sure.
going to bintan on the 25th! i get to take more photos. (:
engaging in more photography and going on my own little "expeditions".
mentorship programme in school.
getting As in classes. HAHA!
my sore throat to go away.
gigs gigs gigs.
jamming with the band again.
yup, okay. that's all for now, and im pretty amazed and grateful if you came to read this entry up till here. lol. so if you did just read my whole line of ramblings, please do tag my board and tell me so, i'll really really appreciate knowing you gave so much a damn about me, though im this insignificant. haha. (:
<33
see. i feel better already! :D
ripped this off a friendster bulletin.
FIVE THINGS YOU DID IN SECONDARY SCHOOL?
. studying
. wasting my life
. ponning classes
. seeing my friends
. cake fights
FIVE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SINGERS/BANDS?
. eighteen visions
. funeral for a friend
. atreyu
. scary kids scaring kids
. secondhand serenade
FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE
. pig out
. redecorate/furnish my room
. get a new bass
. fix my phone
. buy more clothes and shoes
FIVE BAD HABITS
. my stupid twitching
. my eating habits
. sleeping late
. too much internet
. going into my own world
FIVE THINGS YOU LIKE DOING
. designing
. photography
. hanging out with friends
. reading my books
. playing the bass
FIVE THINGS YOU WILL NEVER WEAR, BUY OR GET
. yellow clothes
. orange clothes
. streetwear rubbish
. those gross ah beng tees
. those studded jackets skinheads wear
FIVE FAVOURITE THINGS
. photoshop
. my cameras
. my phone
. music i listen to
. assorted stationery
and yes, im in school supposedly having class. my throat hurts like fuck, i dunno why. causse i always drink plenty of water. and i have a fucking ulcer under my tongue. i hope it doesnt grow any bigger. anyways, im so tired and we're doing science today. it fucking sucks lah. and chev is being so fucking gay. he's been throwing tantrums in class and all a lot, cause we all are just damn annoyed and disgusted by him. you have no idea why so. gawwd, such a pussy. i cant wait for today's class to end! and im just gonna stay home this weekend i guess, since im in such a bad mood. i seriously dont believe that today go from suckfest to hell. it started out by raining lah. cb. i hate rain. and science. and yes, i dislike chev very very very much. CB.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
WHEN DONN DOES NOT COME TO SCHOOL, I FEEL SAD AND UN-MAGICAL. ):
yup, today i was pretty lonely in school without donn. as i said, everyone else has made friends or smth alrdy. i made friends too... but they're not in my class. -__-" like what's the point then right? heh. yea, so like i had lunch with chris and his friends. i kinda felt a little out cause they're all his classmates. luckily i didnt need to really talk to them much. yes, i suck at this making friends thing no matter how nice people can be. /: sheeeesh. the mock UT today was alright i guess, i was halfway through the last question when my time was up. like whoopee. tmr we have basic science. i HATE science. and partly cause the teacher sucks shit or maybe her own tits, that's why they are so saggy, like ewwwza! (haha). yea. i doubt i'll ever get an A for science cause stupid "chevyyy" is in my group and we all just cant get along with him. and that tommy keeps making fun of me and him. not like there's any nat + chevalier. yes, his name is CHEVALIER. okay, i feel quite bad typing all this out. cause like there's a chance he might read it somehow... well, it's a slim chance anyway. cause in class, only bird knows my blog addy. and remember my francine pascal series? yes, im still in the middle of vol. 20! which is amazing, cause i usually finish one volume in like a day. i guess school and all that travelling takes up huge chunks of your time. oh well. i could read during the time taken to travel, but im either just too sleepy or lazy to get it out of my bag. so yes, im still trying to finish this book and get on with the next few in the series. haha. and omg, it's just so sad lah, the way everything in the book seems. OKAY, enough about my book. this isnt a book review or anything like a book report. heh. righttt. sigh... im alrdy dreading the thought of school tmr, i hope donn is on time/early, so we can walk to school together and all again. i feel as if i havent seen her in a longgg time. hahahahaha. okay, i saw her like yesterday. but it still feels weird okay. and i realise my blog entries are pretty long. so i shall stop now. not like i have anymore to talk about. i guess im trying to tear myself away from all the fuckshit i constantly think about. and being really tired/sleepy today doesnt make it any better. ):
btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM. though i hope you never ever ever read this.
i detach myself again- it's better this way.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
yes, donn and i, are officially anti-boys! okay, not quite. BUT YEA. BOYS ARE STUPID, AND YOU SHOULD THROW ROCKS AT THEM! it is the right thing to do! :D
who would want faces like these anyway? kuku.
tomorrow's the mock understanding test (UT). I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN BEING ON TIME. ugh!
oh yea, and i caught the clock running at 11.11 again! like just. yayza! im lucky! (: i hope.
i choke back each tear that bleeds
-august in bethany-
fuck, everytime i listen to that song, it reminds me of that stupid slutbaghoe. ):
anyways, recently, i've been inspired. (: in fact, i've been quite motivated suddenly somehow to want to do well in something. im not sure what, but today in class was a start. i actually wanted to do well for the communications module. like actually aimed for an A. and i think i put 101% in today's stuff. hahaha. only 101% cause i kinda got tired along the way. i was so determined, i promise! i think i deserve at least a B. (: yup. cause i practically did everything for my group and presented more stuff than any of them. partly cause i really do want that A and partly cause they were so clueless on what to do. /: lol. well, tmr's another chance for me to get an A. haha! and gawwwd, i know this sounds damn gay (like something you'd get off http://colinandkero.blogspot.com), but i desperately want an strawberry ice blended! yes, with those "pearls". haha. (: im just uber thirsty now, i swear. and i dunno why, but i want something fruity but just not apple or stupid orange, and im kinda tired of other citrus flavours like lime and lemon. so yea, something with berry in it. :D okay, imma thirsty derranged nat. /: but hell! i really want that ice blended! lol. apparently they sell it in school, i think it's at the cafe... which is always sofa king packed with kids, you'd just give up after five minutes into the queue. lol. i'll try during lunch, when i have like two and a half hours to line up... well, sorta. /: okay, yup. that's about it. oh, and i would appreciate models actually, if you think you're pretty/delicate/sensual-yet-broken-looking enough for a picture, no experience whatsoever needed. (: cause i would really love you to help me out a bit. and i wouldnt be hogging the camera all the time too. haha. (:
well, that's about it, it's almost 1am, i needa sleeeep! more A's to conquer!
i mean... earn. lol. (: BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Monday, May 01, 2006
okay, i dont really enjoy public holidays in general, they are uber boring and like the whole family is home. but of course i love christmas and i sort of like good friday, apart from the fasting bit though. so yea, the sticker party at home club last night was okay though it was kinda dead. went home around 2am dreading the thought of my dad giving me another lecture, only to find my whole family was fast asleep alrdy. pfffffft. slept at like 5am after a longgg catch up talk with paul,
who is still just as spastic and disgusting. haha. yea, and so i didnt go to sentosa with my classmates cause i woke up at like 3.30pm anyway.
so yea, back to school tmr. im actually quite happy i have school to go to, instead of wasting my life away like i would probably do. this week there's like a stupid mock understanding test thing. ugh. how annoying. it's not relevant to my course at all, but we still got to do it. and the best part is, i have no idea how to study for it. haha. oh well, i hate rp's curriculum. /: i wanna get a job at the night safari though. cause it'll be in the evening and i really think i could use a job right now. esp since i dont have homework or really huge difficult tests. cause i doubt i can do waiting. well, i actually told my dad about the night safari job, he didnt seem to object, he only asked how often i had to work. hmmm. so yea, im really considering working at there part time.
and i cannot wait till 25th of this month! (: im going to bintan! yayyy! :D this is like the first time in such a long while im really happy im going overseas. haha. i just hope it doesnt rain, cause bintan seems to rain a lot from my past experience there. i'll be going with some of my family from my mom's side. so yea, i'll probably have to end up babysitting though. /: but my mom says i can bring the slr along to take photos, so im really really looking forward to that. (: yup. i just love beaches, though i think i look weird with a tan. heh. 
yea, i put that poster up to advertise for elias's and jem's band. go okay? (:
well, that's all for now, this month really really seems to be looking good. :D
Sunday, April 30, 2006
i feel sad... and it's not cause my own problems have made me feel this way, but because of other people's pain. okay, i know im such a loser cause i feel so sorry for other people that i cant help but cry. seriously i wish i could detach myself from all this, cause it really is damn stupid. i cant understand why im always so sensitive to all the touchytouchy shit. ugh, im such a sucker.
anyways, donn, i love you and i hope you are okay. please dont do anything stupid to hurt yourself or anything. im here and you know that. no matter what time you wanna call me, im gonna be here to listen. i'll see you on tuesday in school and i'll do my best to make you happy k? just please dont hurt yourself. what you did wasnt wrong. and i know your reasons and intentions were all right. im here for you. please take care of yourself over the weekend.
andy, please please PLEASE dont do anything stupid. im begging you to be careful and not hurt yourself. im here for you too. we (your friends) are all here for you. and it's not your fault this all happened okay? so dont blame yourself. please keep you head straight, and i hope you still remember what i told you before. if you need to talk, i'll listen.
okay, i feel better. sort of.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
and met some old friends there too. (:
bands that performed: a vacant affair, electrico, surreal, west grand boulevard and vertical rush.
a vacant affair. (:
ally! :D
sherri!
nikki!
hetts!
surreal!
that's tiantian being body surfed! HAHA!
yup. that's about it.
more photos linked under "latest photos", album: project green grass. (:
sorry i didnt take many many of like the other bands,
surreal seemed to be the most happening, though the others were great too,
like ava. hahahahhaha. (:
as much as i dont wanna be with you anymore, i miss you.
and that is a hell lot to keep this open wound unhealing.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
please may my 11.11 wish come true!
im due for a miracle, im waiting for a sign.
okay, i got bored and did this collage. haha.
yes! i have finally made a new friend in school, (:
and hung out with him and donn for lunch.
he also happens to be claire's cousin, shaun.
went to mediacorp today for paul's idol performance thingy.
^the obnoxious and annoying dude.
^that camera is just scary lah.
^randy and his artpiece. i took that photo though. (:
^daniel ong and gurmit singh
^yay, go paulie! haha. :D
^the guy in white's name is janson, he's kinda cute. HAHA.
^the guy in the dark red jacket is damn good too lah.
^the grumpy dude judge guy, ken lim.
wasnt supp to take photos in there, but i got these anyway. heh.
paul sang 'here without you' by three doors down.
it was fucking moving lah! someone actually cried, while i had a million goosebumps.
haha. and honestly, paul was like the best in the competition!
okay fine, there was some other guy who was damn good too,
and i hope very much both paul and him would get into the next round.
i think his name is jonathan leong. yup. really good singer too.
so everyone, please... VOTE FOR PAUL!
quote of the day: two legs good, four legs better!
-gurmit singh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
okay, at least that's what i think.
i practically die in class when i forget my water bottle,
and my maid has to give it to my stupid brother to use it!
now i dont think i ever want to use it again,
though i like it so much. ):
i feel super pissed and sad at the same time,
cause i bet my bottle has a million scratches on it right now.
my brother: destroyer of all things pretty. ):
and he does NOT look like me please,
unless you hate me that much to want to make me sound that ugly. ))):
CHRISTOPHER (ANDREW) HO SHEN ANN, YOU SUCK, BUT IM STILL SO NICE TO YOU! ):
ugh! okay, enough venting.
i was actually in a good mood throughout the day... AGAIN!
since i got to school actually. hahaha.
OKAY. I DONT KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS! HAHAHA!
but yea, my team members for today have been looking at me funny
and saying i keep smiling to myself or at my computer or smth. ugh.is it really that obvious?
PLEASE MURDER ME BEFORE I DO SMTH INCREDIBLY STEWWWPIT!
haha. i still cannot help laughing.
everything seems too good to be true suddenly.OKAY, SHUT UP, NAT. NOTHING IN YOUR LIFE TURNS OUT RIGHT,
SO DONT START YOUR STUPID HIGH HOPES AND DUMBNESS ALL OVER AGAIN!
yes, im talking to myself. shut up.
heh.
ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me.
hahaha. fuck lah!
Monday, April 24, 2006
i cant help but have this stupid happy look on my face right now.
hahahahahaha. :D
PLEASE MAY THE FUCKING FOOD POISONING OR WHATEVER FUCK IT IS GO AWAY!i actually do want to go to school tmr. :X
gawwd, this all gets weirder doesnt it? heh.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
this has been one helluva busy weekend!
and once again, im too lazy to type the whole thing out,
so i will use pictures too later on.... (:
FIRSTLY!: silhouette clothing is now SEPHIRE CLOTHING (say saf-fire clothing). and i have rejoined andy and company, though avery will not be working with us anymore. ):
do click the banner below to visit our new and improved website done by andypandy.
(yes, i did this banner, with a bit of andy's help.)
and we have a myspace account, so do add us if you have one too. (:
SECONDLY!: i have finally gone and done some shopping, so i feel really satisfied, well, almost. cause i didnt get the black topshop pants due to the lack of moneys. ): and i got to take a few pictures of stuff. though the quality isnt good. due to my lousy 2megapix casio one again. ): but better than nothing, i suppose. anyone feeling generous? ;)
had dinner at phin's steak house (bugis), damn good dinner lah. and it wasnt even that costly. (:
it was drizzling too, so it kinda made the night prettier. though i hate rain.
THIRDLY! (gee, this is getting tiring, haha): we all went to arab street again last night. and honestly, im actually quite bored of arab street's sheesha. haha. but nobody could come up with a better place to chill so yea, arab street.
hahaha.
LASTLY!: i just have to put these pictures up...
hahahahaha. and it's actually formed by 'hottis' from 7 11. too bad the pictures arent very clear.
so uhh, you can go figure out what's being said on the road, and no, it wasnt my idea! :P
okay, that's all for one entry. (:
Friday, April 21, 2006
well, not really. (:
anyways, since schoolza is so boring, i will have some erm... NICE pictures up! :D
featuring two people who never fail to make me smile...
1.
2.
1. donn: she's in school taking a photo of something, and everyone who walked past looked down to stare at this small weird girl squatting at the edge of the rp's school canteen today.
2. paul: this is paul as 'pauline'. he has two other personalities/alter-egos. his other alter-ego apart from 'pauline' is 'andre', who aparently is a 5-7 year old kid. he'd tell you he's talking about his nephew, but honestly, it really is paul being childish and silly... as usual, but to a greater extent. catch him on singapore idol!
what do they have in common?:
they both dont care how stupid they look in public/in front of people. HAHA! :D
love you both. (:
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I DONT WANNA HEAR JACK OR TAKE ANY ADVICE FROM YOU ON ANYTHING,
AND STOP ASKING WHAT IM DOING.
IT'S NOT EVEN IMPORTANT,
CAUSE THERE'S HARDLY ANYTHING TO DO ONLINE ANYWAYS.
USE YOUR BRAINS, YOU DUMB CUNTS.
AND PLEASE AH, SHUT YOUR FUCKING TRAP UP IF YOU DONT KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH.
CAUSE IM NOT SITTING AROUND AND LISTENING TO ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD/SHOULDNT DO.
I DONT CARE. WHY CANT YOU GUYS GET THAT?
EVERYTHING IS JUST NOT MOVING,
EVERYTHING IS JUST SO BORING AND MUNDANE,
THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK TO ME OR ASK ME ABOUT, SO DONT!
MY LIFE HAS BEEN THE SAME SINCE MID JAN, GET IT?
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE NOW IS THAT I HAVE SCHOOL.
AND I DONT ENJOY IT, SO DONT ASK.
CAUSE I'VE EXPLAINED A MILLION TIMES TO EVERYONE WHY I DONT LIKE IT.
STUPID SHITHEADS. JUST STOP THE QUESTIONS.
WHY CANT YOU FIGURE STUFF OUT YOURSELVES?
OR WHY DONT YOU JUST READ MY BLOG MORE OFTEN TO KEEP UP WITH MY LIFE?
IT'S A VERY VERY RELIABLE SOURCE TO KNOW HOW I FEEL
AND WHAT I DO ALMOST EVERYDAY.
AND YES, GET THIS INTO YOUR HEAD!:
I DONT WANNA TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
CAUSE EVERYTHING IS SCREWY ANYWAYS.
AND I DONT WANNA TELL YOU ANYTHING,
CAUSE YOU ALL WILL PROBABLY SAY IM SUCH A WHINER AND SHIT LIKE THAT.
SO YEA, DONT BLAME ME IF I WANT TO SHUT YOU ALL OUT.
I JUST NEED MY SPACE.
AND I DONT CARE FOR YOUR LONG GRANDMOTHERS STORIES ABOUT HOW GREAT YOU ARE
OR HOW FUCKED UP YOUR DAY IS AND THIS AND THAT.
I MIGHT AS WELL JUST LISTEN TO MYSELF GRUMBLE IF THAT'S THE CASE.
I DONT FEEL IMMENSE SADNESS OR HAPPINESS ANYMORE,
CAUSE I DONT FEEL LIKE THERE'S ANYTHING NOR ANYONE TO FEEL FOR ANYWAY.
ALL I FEEL IS FUCKING ANNOYED.
okay, get lost now.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
when everything seems sucky and relationships feel fucked up,
there's always an internet search engine to find Miyavi. (((:
yes elias, my pretentious japanese musician...
who is also extremely hawwwt! :D
Rocks Tonic Magic Juice
Let me take this awkward saw,
Run it against your thighs,
Cut some flesh away.
I'll carry this piece of you with me.
I'ts all I can say tonight
Is I hate you,
But it would be all right.
We could see each other sometime,
If I could somehow make you mine.
And if not I'll take my spoons,
Dig out your blue eyes,
Swallow them down to my colon.
They're gonna burn like hell tonight.
Cause you're beautiful, just not on the inside.
Light comes from within.
Your beaming eyes don't seem so bright.
Heart is on the floor,
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done.
Heart is on the floor,
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done.
Boardwalks and breaking waves,
Made our Saturdays.
I'd buy you lemonade right now, if you were here.
Then I'd throw it in your face,
And I'd listen to you cry.
Remember how I miss, our nights under the ocean skies.
Heart is on the floor,
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done.
Heart is on the floor,
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done.
You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.
You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.
You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.
You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.
-Saves The Day
okay, apart from letting something/one get to me, today was not bad. school was much much better than yesterday, the enterprising shit has to be my favourite module... so far. i have a bad feeling about the math and computing one though. however, i have a bad feeling my grades wouldnt be so fantastic, cause im not that participative in class. ): well, i cant exactly help it, im just not used to the people around me and doing presentations everyday. but i love how the breaks are like! haha.
this is my regular everyday timetable...
8.30am - start class according to what module it is.
9.30am - break!
(though some time is used to discuss/brainstorm about the problem statement given per day)
10.30am - back to class to work on project and presentation.
11.30am - lunch break
(though sometime is used to complete our presentations)
2pm - back to class to do our group presentation.
4pm - BYEBYE CLASS!
but of course school doesnt always end on time,
it also depends on how long the presentations and q&a sessions take.
and how long we take to do our daily quiz, peer/self evaluation and reflective journals (rj).
the process can be quite gruelling as the teacher (or 'facilitator' as they call it in rp -__-"),
can be uber longggg-windedddddd. ):
and i really really really mean UBER long-winded!
yea, but overall, i dont mind the timetables being like that,
i just hate the boring shits we do the whole day.
well, no pictures today lah. couldnt be bothered.
tmr we're doing basic sciences (biology stuff).
ugh. so secondary school! ))):
nyehh. BYE.
Monday, April 17, 2006
i dislike school a lot. )):
i depise rain even more. ))):
JUST LOOK AT THAT GLOOMINESS OF A MONDAY!and yes, the bad black and white photos were intended. >:( 
bea was my only consolation, cause we braved the crappy weather together.
and no, we didnt take a cab there.
dont know where donn disappeared to after smoking with andy, eugene and pantat though. /:
my head hurts like bitch now. stupid rain water! ):
one word to describe today: SHITPISSCUNTFUCK!
Sunday, April 16, 2006
sometimes, i look at these things, and i wonder how paul is my friend. haha!
hmm. sorry, im just lazy to type these things out.
but just a summary...
monster mash at ij studios -> clarke quay.
haha. yes, it's only one line. aiya, lazy lah!
anyways, more photos linked under "latest photos".
album 150406.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside, its cold outside
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside, its cold inside
and your slowly shaking finger tips
shows that you're scared like me
so let pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don’t care
tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
impossible
I was born to tell you 'I love you'
isn't that a song already
I get a B in originality
and it's true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clear
if you could only see in the mirror what I see
and you're slowly shaking finger tips
shows that you're scared like me
so lets pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don’t care
tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
impossible
slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see
maybe I am much more, you'd never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bleed
I can be anyone anything, I promise I can be what you need
tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
impossible
- Secondhand Serenade
Friday, April 14, 2006
it's been so tiring today. ugh.
things are getting screwy, and my hair really sucks.
so nothing can get anymore screwy,
actually, it can.
damn it.
THANK GOD, i have these two people who understand and help me get through the screw ups.
YES. I HAVE GONE COMPLETELY INSANE AND DRIVEN TO ULTIMATE BOREDOM!
okay, bottom line is...
I CUT AND BLEACHED MY HAIR AGAIN. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I KNOW MY FRINGE SUCKS,
IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT. HAHA!
I FORGOT I CANT EXPERIMENT STUFF LIKE THAT.
SO NOW I LOOK LIKE A DORK AND I HAVE TO WEAR A CAP MORE OFTEN,
ALL CAUSE OF MY DUMB FRINGE!
!@#)$%^*&(!@(#$%^)&*
anyways, happy good friday.
right.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
so i wasted a day of doing nothing again.
im not telling you guys what time i woke up,
cause you all will probably throw rocks at me
if i told you that i woke up at 7pm today.
whoops! did i just say that? heh.
i have to get so many things done and confirmed by friday evening.
shitshitshit.
and i wasted a day alrdy.
awesome!
i suddenly dont feel like doing anything,
cept maybe just hanging out and eating.
like im not in the mood for going to gigs and stuff.
fuck lah.
i dont have any mood to blog either,
it's just that im so bored. ):
MITCH: hey baby! im sorry i couldnt wake up to meet you! ): im really really sorry!!! maybe some weekend yea? ugh. i feel so bad. but i was just too tired. im sorryyyyyy. ): i still loves you though im a lazy bum.
oh well...
shopping anyone?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
take photos of her chest of course! HAHA!
second and last day of orientation.
i now think rp is as exciting as going to a techno club.
but at least i made friends... well, sorta.
they're kinda nice... in a weird way.
and the guy at my table was just too friendly
or maybe im just anti-social like that. ):
and china people are strange. haha.
donn has a china boy in class who carries a chinese/english dictionary around.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
haha. sorry, i couldnt resist.
Monday, April 10, 2006
yes, today was first day of orientation.
and it was as fun as watching paint dry.
anyways, im off to go shopping! :D
that is more like it. (:
Sunday, April 09, 2006
rp = republic polytechnic = retarded polytechnic
40% of me is dreading the thought of going there with all the bengs and lians and the shit curriculum,
20% is glad i have bea, donn and momo in my course
30% is glad im not like doing biomed or some weird electronics shit in the second year.
5% of me dreads waking up and dragging my ass to woodlands
5% hopes for hot guys to gawk at if i get bored...
40% + 20% + 30% + 5% + 5% = 100% excited and nerve wrecked.
FWAAAA! i purposely slept at 8am today,
so i'd get up at 3pm
and would feel like i need to sleep badly by ten or something,
however, it's 10.15pm already and i feel normal.
shit, i shouldnt have had starbucks today! /:
anyways, im more or less set for school tmr, all i need is my lappy. (:
kewwwlza!btw, there's a person in my class called... HAN LWIN OO.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
and it's weird, cause i keep seeing 4.44 on the clock or smth,
even the number of pageviews i had was 444. creeps.
wish me luck, cause i need to remember lots of chinese names now. ): die.
arab street with ashley, cc, john, neek, kim, randy, jem, elias, paul, cyn and edwin was good.
too bad paul and cyn left early. ):
okay donn, now i forgive you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Friday, April 07, 2006
PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO, I GOT IT OFF MAJO'S FRIENDSTER PROFILE.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. PAUL'S KAHOONAS!
and yes, he is the same guy going on tv for singapore idol. HAHA!
anna lee and desdemonia have got to be two of the hottest suicidegirls around!
okay, dont ask me why im looking at sucidegirls,
i was simply browsing myspace and came across the suicidegirls account.
anyway, i would die to qualify looking like a suicidegirl.
the keyword is looking, not being one,
cause most of them are hookers and pornstars. /:
i think i have a disease;
i cant stop getting hungry!
i think it's cause i always wake up so late these days.
in fact, i just made myself a snack.
and this isnt even everything that i ate.
x:
Thursday, April 06, 2006
yes ashes, i said it myself, you can stfu now. hahaha. we're infected by tiantian! /:
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
so im extremely pleased with myself. haha!
and things are looking up again. (:
i didnt sleep till like 7 this morning,
so expected i woke up at 6.30pm. lol.
i was uber hungry just now,
and all i had was dinner, peanut butter sandwiches and some stupid instant quaker oat thing.
seriously, the quaker oats are not cool! ugh.
or maybe cause i messed it up. hahahahaha. :p
anyways, it's a lonely evening again,
but it's not like yesterday's reason.
i hope whoever is holding up the wireless network
im connected to wont disconnect the modem or whatsoever.
if not im gonna be uber bored,
cause i doubt i'll be sleeping early today. ):
anyways. im bored. someone talk to me!
and this is super annoying,
i cant see my own blog unless i click "preview" on the edit template page!
stewwwpitzaa. /:
alright, nothing to talk about today at all. (:
and im gonna get two new books to complete my 'fearless series' by francine pascal!
yayza! :D yes, i love this series, you gotta read it to understand why. (:
and with those two new books, i get to continue where i stopped,
so it's not just two new books i get to read, but ten more. (((:
yes, the week is looking up!
i still cant wait till this weekend at arab street though. (:
i dunno why, but im already feeling really shitty.
i guess the wednesday "blues" are catching up on me.
but honestly, i think last wednesday would be better than today,
and yet, the day has hardly started.
it's 4.44am on the computer clock.
they say 4's an unlucky number.
and comparing it to how catching the clock running at 11.11 is lucky,
you can definitely say, my luck is non existent
and things are certainly not looking up.
my only comfort and confidante is my mom's camera.
retrace the steps as if we forgot,say you wont care.
erm. yea. so it's like tuesday already.
and i guess you can say that im okay.
hung out with drew and honky, ate two dinners. heh.
i really cant wait till the weekend.
i plan not to go out for the rest of the week.
partly cause i wanna save money
and maybe give my dad no reason to nag at me for going out so often.
well, yea, revamped my blog.
nothing really new. but it's more pleasant to look at. i think?
im saving seats for you, just in case you change your mind.
Monday, April 03, 2006
but im so glad i have spastic friends like paul around.
he asked me to watch the two stupidest videos on youtube today.
it has cheered me up tremendously
and is the best thing that happened to me today
so please watch this video here if you feel shitty and regretful... or something.
this is the funnier one.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
i'll be going for penetential service later at holy spirit to confess all my sins.
ugh. i hate going for confession. ):
would you have the strength to stay?
Sunday, April 02, 2006
cause i slept at like 7.30am or something.
stewwwpit andrew emo k-oh/id who likes silverstein can still purposely call me at 11am!
haha. but it's cool cause he likes fairly odd parents,
which everyone else hates/finds irritating. it's cool okay! haha.
elias woke me up at around 3.30pm and asked if i wanted to go out, i was actually too tired to get up at that time. but at 4pm i finally dragged myself out of bed and got dressed to go out. met him and his friend, the new vinyl summer bassist (jeremy), at lido. i kinda took a huge detour cause i wasnt paying attention to where i was walking towards. so yea anyways. elias went to topman to buy jeans, cause jem had wrecked his pants on friday night. haha. and then macs, cause i hadnt eaten at all, fiddled with elias's camera and bluffed terrence over the phone i was gonna sing for vinyl summer when they jammed today. lol. went to borders to look at books and stuff, elias realised he didnt wanna get any books from borders cause they were too ex, so we went to hmv instead. we're probably going to arab street next week on a photography "expedition" (haha) and look at the antique stuff and see what we can get from there. maybe smoke seesha too lah. yay! cant wait. so yea, with elias's efficient camera phone (without a cracked screen like mine), i got these two photos up.
i look like a fucking retard here, cause elias messed up hair up like that and took this. haha.
hello borders, we're two very small people. lol. (:
okay, friday night was great.
i didnt get wasted. (:
okay, maybe just a little tipsy, but i was perfectly fine okay.
so ignore what elias and all have to say. yay!
but marjie got preeetty wasted... im sure john had a good time. HAHA.
i got a few photos of friday night here.
spotted john and majo? (: perfect. HAHAHAHAHA.
anyways, im really really sorry about the poor quality and low resolution shots;
i only have my camera phone.
(OH YEA) which also has a HUGE CRACK on the lcd screen.
WHOOPEEEE.
so i cannot read the first line and one and a half words of the second line in smses.
so please call me if you have something really important
OR type...
<>
<>
<>
-your message here.-
and then press send to me. okay?
then i will be able to read your messages with no frowns and headaches.
ugh. i need to replace it this monday latest or i'd die!
oh, and i watched date movie this evening, it was fucking stupid.
but sorta funny. but still FUCKING STUPID!
it's something paul would enjoy watching though, cause it's so stewwwpit. :D
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
and also the two main chicks are pretty hawwt. the guys are just weird.
i think paul would seriously love this movie. lol!
ELIAS: i hope you had a happy birthday, though you ended up talking to cyn through most of the evening. but that's what you're always good for- talking to. (: 17's nothing near sweet... which is cool. haha!
Friday, March 31, 2006
i've been having multiple orgasms since midnight.
HAHA. not.
okay, today is gonna be a good day!
nothing will get in my way.
yeayeayea!
we're gonna celebrate elias' birthday tonight at ashley's
aaanddd im not going to get wasted,
neither am i gonna be upset by anything or anyone.
yes. i am so cool. yay.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
my mom is sofa king irritating. she's always making me help out in her stupid flower shop. she has no phone operator for one whole week, so that means i gotta help her. wtf lah! so irritating. i would go get a job but nooo... my dad says he doesnt want me to work when school starts. so like okay, what's the point then. i dont know lah. sometimes i think my parents are like magnets. like mom is a north pole and my dad's south, or smth like that. they're attracted to each other, but yet they are so different and sometimes they seem worlds apart. gawwd! so irritating. my mom can tell me i'll get an atm card as long as i have a job. but when i tell my dad, he says, "no, your mom has no idea what she's talking about!".
seriously! -___-"
stupidfuckpissshitcunt!
ugh. anyways, im having a small headache now.
everytime i get annoyed or smth i get headaches or i get sick.
how irritating. ):
today is seriously not a fun/good day at all.
I HATE WEDNESDAYS!
i've talked to paul just now, but even so he's all grumpy. ):
it's so damn mundane i tell you, and the weather stinks.
i despise wednesdays!
i cant wait till the weekend. friday, please hurry!
i somehow really sincerely hope you're okay, cause i hate to see you this upset. i dont even wanna initiate the next conversation with you, just in case you bite my head off or smth. anyways, i dont know if you'll read this. i am feeling extremely weird now. it's like talking to myself here, cause you probably wont read this. i think. i dont know. anyways, please be happy. and i really cant wait till the next time i see you again. it's only tuesday. oh wait, it's alrdy wednesday morning. shucks, it still feels so far away. i dont care if people read this and have things to say about me. ugh. this is when im wondering wtf am i going on about. but it doesnt matter i guess. nobody's gonna understand this and neither are you gonna read this. you make me so happy, you know? really. i only wish i knew how to be a better source of comfort to people, or at least... to you. i miss you. i really do. i dont always tell you directly, but that's cause you dont say it much either. so i dont wanna feel all stupid again. ugh. okay. this feel weird. please be okay.
And i'll ride on clouds,
Till you come down.
Just promise me you'll always leave the ground.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Safe sex
The diaphragm
Lacking of your self-control
Diary
The top Drawer
Your mother wished she'd never seen
I just wanted to be loved she said
It's something that I never had
Call him at 3 am
Wishing to be reassured
He'd love to
Of course he would
Anything to get you in bed
Goodnight she said
I'm going to start a revolution
And you can be the star of it
It's in my head
Footprints
And fallen Leaves
These are the kind of things lovers think of
Backseats and motels
These are the places that they've been
You want none of these things
These are the kind of things that make us weak
Goodnight she said
I'm going to start a revolution
And you can be the star of it
It's in my head
Goodnight she said
I'm going to start a revolution
And you can be the star of it
It's in my head
There went the world
Just one girl
haha. i actually sorta seriously kinda quite really love this song. (:
Monday, March 27, 2006
but i dont want to blog about how i feel today,
cause i dont have any right to feel like this.
and why arent i allowed to?
cause it's just some stupid complicated unwritten law that says so.
):
anyways, i was on a bus back home today. the bus wasnt particularly crowded. in fact, there were a few empty seats here and there. so i cant really understand why that fat smelly man in yellow had to sit next to me. i had only half the bus seat to sit on. it was most uncomfortable from thomson plaza all the way to somerset. it's like singing "reinventing your exit", but singing up 'against the window' instead of 'up against the wall'. stupid chinese man. ugh.
okay, that's all i have now, cause im just not feeling all whoopdeedoo about today.
and i dont wanna post too many negative things here that often.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
it wasnt a bad set actually, so you guys stop thinking it's bad please!
yea, photos are up.
they're a lot better than the third place set photos.
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/entergothika/album?.dir=8575&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//uk.photos.yahoo.com/ph//my_photos
or click on latest photos and find the album yourself.
anyway, here are a few photos lah. lazy to type. lol.
OKAY. THE END! yayza.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO!
IT'S FUCKING FUNNY!
FUNNIER THAN ANY OTHER VIDEO I'VE POSTED SO FAR.
okay, maybe more retarded than funny, but IT MAKES YOU LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF!
or just click on this link.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2355685700720519560&q=superbowl+is+gay
hahahahhahaahahahahahahhahaha!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
yes, i find it therapeutic to type all sorts of crap here.
yea really, i find it therapeutic.
i have to learn a whole load of songs on bass for tmr. okay, not really, there's no pressure from anyone actually. but im just getting on with my stupid paranoid self. it's weird how i can be an onlooker of my own life and realise how stupid i think sometimes, so yes, i have to relax myself a bit and everything will be okay, right? wrong! ugh. this weekend is so busy. tmr i have to go to rp to matriculate (it's a stupid word) and get my laptop, head down to clarke quay to jam with kian and this dude called tim, then i have to go home and dump my bass there (by the way, i dont even know whether im taking my bass to rp, it depends on the whole timing thing) and then head out again to the third place in outram for a gig. okay, my main concern is that i show incompetency tmr in front of kian and tim. cause i only knew what songs to play yesterday. so in actual fact, i shouldnt be online, but then again, they told me no pressure if i cant get 'unholy confessions'. shitshitshit. i should've practiced my bass more often this whole stupid "holiday" instead of sitting around doing almost nothing. ): anyways, i miss my band. i think i've said this a few million times alrdy, but who cares what you wanna read anyway? heh. okay, i feel slightly better now. so umm. okay, yea, slightly better, but still in agony. ): at least my mom is coming to rp with me tmr, then i dont have to go alone or go alllllll the way there by mrt.
and i hope this answers your question on why i didnt sleep two nights ago...
While you were sleeping
I stared into the darkness
and wondered how I ended up with you so close to me
Resting in your arms is the only thing that comforts and chills me from this night
so please please stay and show me what its like to be in love
I'd do anything at all to catch your smile again
im getting all daphne loves derby-ish these days. nyehh.
alright, i feel better, when i dont think of what i have to do. haha.
ho gawwd.
im having a huge headache now.
tmr i gotta go down to rp to verify i accepted the spot.
im reading the whole laptop thing and there's so much to read.
headache. headache. headache. ):
i only hope my mom will go with me tmr so i wont be all confused.
besides, i dont wanna go there alone.
and i hope my dad didnt throw away the postcard rp sent to me.
nigel. i'll poke the holes on your container for you to breathe. says:
i just saw your testimonial pretty girl
nigel. i'll poke the holes on your container for you to breathe. says:
):
nigel. i'll poke the holes on your container for you to breathe. says:
i wanna go home
Streetlights flicker like this match in my hand. says:
hello nigel.
Streetlights flicker like this match in my hand. says:
i know.
nigel. i'll poke the holes on your container for you to breathe. says:
i miss you too (:
okay, yea. im talking to nigel (lee zhen yang) online now,and i cant help but cry again.
im hardly talking cause i dunno what to say anymore. ):
i suddenly realise how different everything is now. and i dont really like it. i miss going to green, i miss nigel, i miss my school friends like nora, lizzie, bea, belle, sher, shuyi (chewy. haha.), jennifer, jenny, cassie, nisha, claire, seshaa, sarah, mel, pei yee, etc.etc. okay, i wont go on anymore cause i miss my whole class, the art girls, ally and donn. no matter how fucked up the teachers were, i promise everything was so much simpler. okay, maybe not. but at least there was the comfort from friends. and all the stupid shit we used to do in class. i used to go to green and hang out with my bandmates, and the rest. btw, i really miss my bandmates, esp with everything going downhill in it. fridays were the best, cause almost everyone would go play/watch soccer at the court. everything was so down-to-earth then. but now, it's like so much has changed. it's not that i dont like the people i hang out with now. i love majo, paul, elias, ashley, tiantian and all with all my heart, but it's just not the same anymore. i met a few new people, and honestly, i do like their company, but it just doesnt have that old feel. ugh. i dont know how to say this all in words cause there's a lot more to it, and that's something i couldnt let them judgemental busybodies and hypocrites read here. OKAY, now i seriously dunno wtf im talking about anymore. i just want to go back at least 5 months and enjoy everything heartbreaking/happy about it. well, that's all i gotta say. i think i sound very stupid. but i need to blog about it just so it'll get off my chest.
end.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
im listening to 'history' by funeral for a friend now.
it's such a great song actually.
i think i've said the above line like tonnes of times.
anyway, i am damn tired. seriously.
and it's all SOMEONE'S fault! haha.
i've actually been thinking about lots of stuff recently, and i dont know if anything in my life is actually getting better or worse. : how now, brown cow? ugh ugh ugh. i feel like im drifting from what i believe in just so that maybe my life would seem more fulfilled and meaningful. however, in actual fact, i just feel all shit about my actions and thinking. seriously i never felt so immatured in my entire life. it took one word strong word to wake me up. seriously, i just dont know why it took so long for me to realise it has to just end. esp at this point of time. fuck, it's Lent and i havent made good enough sacrifices since im a catholic. and i seriously dont care if people think God doesnt exist. well, fuck you. okay, i take that back. anyway, my conscience are testing me again. i dont know wtf to do about myself anymore. i dont know how to put it. i just dont know where this is all going to.
Monday, March 20, 2006
4th avenue is playing this friday at the third place!
but nigel is obviously not singing. )))))))))))))):
NIGEL LEE, I MISS YOU SO!
till today, you havent told me what your full name is.
so much for us being bestfriends, back then.
dont think you'll read this anyway.
but we're all looking forward for you to coming home.
okay, now i really feel sad. ugh!
lets have a picture...
yay! me and the BIGGEST rockstar. :D
i stayed at home the whole of today, shaun's dad moved out this afternoon, so i think my brother would get his room in time to come? hope not, i enjoyed having this whole level to myself... okay fine, there's uncle mark there but he's not around most of the time anyways. so my brother would move to the room right next to mine. and it's sorta better, cause the toilet has hot water unlike mine. ): and my old toilet is locked. some doofus locked it accidently. must be those stupid girls who rented part of the house to store their documents and work during the day. you have no idea how stupid and clueless they are. once they came to knock on my door to use my toilet, LIKE HELLO? YOU HAVE A NICE BEEEG TOILET AND YOU WANNA COME WAKE ME UP TO USE MINE? ): stewwwpittza. well, yea, so now i cant sneak into that toilet at night to shower. gah!
my band is currently having a "dispute" again. so yea, life stinks. cause i have less things to do. and suddenly we're going to change our genre to be heavier and less emocore. i only hope the riffs arent hard, cause honestly i havent touched my bass in quite a while. i just lack the motivation to practice since we havent been jamming. ugh. why so irritating like that lahhhhhh?! it's seriously not fair to us all if you dont wanna voice your opinions and at the last minute you tell us you dont wanna do this and that. and then when we try to compromise with you, you get all fickle and contradict yourself and say you change your mind. GROW UP, BRYAN JEREMIAH EE. gawwd. and willy, stop sleeping lah! discuss things halfway then wanna go sleep. idiot. hahahahaha. ANYWAYS, YES. I AM ACTUALLY QUITE VERY EXTREMELY SORTA KINDA REALLY ANNOYED WITH ALL THIS! (looks at leslie) and i dunno where chris has been, but at least he's not being irritating. fuckfuckfuck!
hmmm... speaking of my band, hetts, ally and i have an emo/indie band with no drummer. hetts said she'd look, but i havent spoken to her for ages. i think her internet is down or smth. oh well. so yea, WE ARE LOOKING FOR A DRUMMER. nyeh. and please dont be all anonymous if you wanna apply for the position, it's damn stupid. and yes, you'd be the only guy if you have a penis.
now my face feels all oily.
i will take a cold bath then. ):
damn you, cunt, who locked the toilet door! ugh.
okay, wow, i had so much to say even though i hardly did anything today.
okay, i actually didnt do anything today,
but you dont have to know that.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
im tireddddd.
im DAMN tireddd.
but i cannot sleep. ):
i refuse to take the drowsy pills thingum that the doctor prescribed!
it makes me tired and gives me unsettling sleep.
not like i get a lot of sleep anyway.
ANYWAYS,
PAUL GOT INTO SINGAPORE IDOLLLLLLLLLLLL!
YAY!
yup. and i had lunch with my grandma and uncle and family today.
i was uber tired that i didnt feel like eating.
but my mom order so fucking many dim sums
and forced me to eat more than i could. ):
well i got home and lied down, only to get up and go out again.
now im tiredddd but i cant sleep...
(refer to first para)
OKAY. i will do shoutouts today cause i feel like it.
NORA: HIIIIIE!!!!!!!! i thought of you today! i think i told you alrdy, but i dont care cause i feel like repeating myself. and i will link you soooooooooon. and we should go for sushi again. and maybe i'll give you a tweat sometime soon too. (: cause you've been giving me tweats. hahahaha. fuck, till today, im not over 'tweat'. HAHAHAHA. I MISS YOU MY MALAY! what zuziezuky all lah? siaozaaaaabooooooooooooooo. OKAY! im nuts, i will call you at 5am one of these days, regardless what time your school starts. HAHA!
PAUL: I HATE YOU! haha. okay, i just felt like saying that. :D
ELIAS: hahahahahahahahaahahahahaha. and im not grumpy! /:
DONN: NI HAOOOOOO. okay, that's like the only things i can think about these days when i talk to you. HAHAHA.
okay, i've run out of things to say.
BYE!
Friday, March 17, 2006
i think im perfectly straight.
and no matter how "emo" i am, it's no act.
plus, i dont slit my wrist and make out with girls.
go on the net and search th REAL meaning of emo.
cause it actually doesnt mean emotional.
dont be daft yea?
here's a video for you ninnies who think being "emo" is cool.
seriously, watch it, even if you dont think emo's cool. it's funny anyways.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. stewwwpitzz.
yea anyways, i just came home not long ago.
went to the doctor's today.
yes, i know i should've gone to the doctor's like a week ago
cause my eye was giving me problems. ugh.
well, yea, i have an infected and inflamed upper eyelid. ):
there is a friggin sore in my eyelid lah.
and i guess i wont be wearing any eyeliner whatsoever for awhile now.
it's sorta funny and cool, in a car crash sorta way. /:
knnbccb lah!
hmmm.. paul and all are having hangovers. HAHA.
dont drink lah, you twits.
yea, i didnt go for that silly underage party, clubbing sucks. (:
so so soooooo... my eye is sorta okay now after putting the eyedrops.
it's not even liquid drops lah, it's kinda creamy and jelly.
and i have to put it on three times a day
and take a few of three different kind of pills for my nose and dunno what too.
it looks like i have lots of eye shit around my eye lah,
cause of the eyedrops/cream whateverfuck.
and i kinda didnt pay full attention to the doctor
when she told me how to apply the cream. ):
wow wow wow,
im actually talking about my day in detail. HAHA.
right. okay. im bored.
cause today i woke up early for no apparent reason feeling kinda happy.
HAHAHAHAHA. wtf lah.
so like today since everyone is having a hangover/busy,
i did practically nothing, and the doctor's visit was the most exciting thing. -__-"
boooring.
vhat a longgg day indeed.
yay yay yay!
tmr is saturdayyyyy!
coolio, that rhymed. HAHA.
something's getting to my head.
i think cause i really needa piss after all the cokaloka. lol.
so yea...
BYE!!! :D
Thursday, March 16, 2006
just for once, imagine this...
you're walking aimlessly around,
and just following your friends where ever.
you dont know what's coming up next
and neither do you bother to make any noticeable moves.
but you notice something, or maybe someone.
you go home after your day and brush it off
cause as usual, you're doing your best to live each day normally.
the next day, something different happens.
something that causes the side of your crooked smile to twitch a little.
oblivious as you are, you analyse the matter
and once again, you brush it aside with more thought that you should have in mind.
over only four days,
you find that maybe you werent imagining funny things after all.
though half the time you question yourself if you're still doing the right thing,
if this stranger who seems to be a lot more than diminished thoughts really is/could be more than a friend.
but overcomed (grammar?) with paranoia,
you cant stop the disturbing questions and quizzes.
imagine, though you're so fearless of the physical aspects in life,
but more of the mental and emotional torment you would have to go through if all fails, again.
you my friend/reader,
have imagined what's the past week been like for me in 19 lines.
and i couldnt care less about your judgement,
nobody asked you to type/click http://nat-themad.blogspot.com on your server.
(:
why this post is "invisible", has its reason, too.
should've done something but i've done enough,
by the way, my hands were shaking,
rather waste some time with you.
i would put pictures up of what i did today, but i dont.
i would go to a doctor to check why my eye keeps swelling, but i dont.
i would start sorting out my stuff in my room, but i dont.
i would take my camera out and attempt to capture the full moon, but i dont.
i would be more patient, but im not.
i would be more tolerant today, but i cant.
i would explain why, but i dont.
seriously, if you (the readers) reads this,
please tag my board to say 'hi', identify yourselves
and leave me your links (if you have a blog too).
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
you choose to distance yourself,
how is it our fault that we dont discuss what songs to jam
when we all dont even meet up?
you're not doing your part either,
so stop being such a fucking pussy and try.
you give up on fucking everything.even our relationship.
everything over stupid things.
FUCKING WAKE UP YOUR IQ LAH.
you hardly talk to us about band stuff anymore,
you and your whatever you have on lah.
you used to care.
fuck, this is the first time after so long i feel so fucking pissed at you.
and that stupid dog-faced slut pisses me off too.
if you think you're sooooo good,
why dont you prove it.
you're jealous, whorish and ugly.
all the money in the world couldnt get you a good enough plastic surgeon.
gawwd.
have you been alone in a crowded room?
well, im here with you.
im fucking unhappy suddenly. ):
this is me trying to reach you again
this is me not caring anymore
ha. i hope you fucking rot in pieces.
in reply to tags
NORA: err. i forgot the password and your new blog again. sorry. ): and i miss you.
JENNIFER: thank you. and thanks so much about the language thing. i hope you have fun in jc too. hope to catch up soon. miss you're weirdness. lol.
MANDAR: haha. you better call me. i miss you hell lots too. and i have so much to say to you. and you should have so much to say to me too. haha.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
some came out quite nice, but they're not very good though. ):
direct link is below.
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/entergothika/album?.dir=/ab9d
by the way, i am the official photographer for them now,
so i get free gigs with them. woot! :D
anyways, GREAT SET YOU GUYS!
i think the best thing that happened to me today
was getting a free green badge with the disney character 'stitch' on it from seven eleven. :D
sometimes i wonder how many people notice;
notice that stupid dumbfounded googoogaga look i have whenever i see him.
seriously it's not funny!
nobody knows anything cause i havent told anybody anything,
so if you think im dating someone who has four letters in his name,
well, YOU ARE WRONG! ha!
that's for assuming.
i havent even told donn yet, so if you know, you're quite speeeecial. not.
okay, i did kinda tell ally just now, but anyway,
i dont think im gonna say anything whatsoever to anyone
cause i dont even know what's up here and there.
and im not dating anyone at all, so have a blast!
(?!)
well, wake up your eq lah.
anyway, i dont think he's noticed,
i dont think he cares,
i dont think im good enough (which is pretty sad cause he's not that great either),
i dont think i should think anymore.
gahh!
OKAY, ENOUGH!
my fucking blogger is still in chinese.
so if anyone knows how to change the language settings,
please help me out asap! cause i dont understand shit here.
i hope you think of me at least once today.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
how fucking annoying.
anyway, im up for being random today.
so im gonna free write a bit.
ugh. stupid blogger.
im tired lah.
hewihfpeqwf[eqfjq[ = "good times last forever" in kenny's dictionary
happy birthday, jude!
who the fuck has interets and hobbies in sharp objects?
i hate it when people cant spell and spell things wrong
i realise i cant remember which button is the 'publish post' one, and now it's in chinese. brilliant.
yay, tmr's friday! :D
im not feeling myself today.
i am quite tired.
my mom is so strange, i pity her sometimes cause she's always stressed out.
-whines ):
there's nobody to talk to online.
i want coke.
im sorry. sigh.
i somehow cant breathe right today.
i feel so pissed with him now.
fuck off.
stupid shitheads.
ugh.
alright. enough. i hope i can publish this post right. bye.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
please stop shouting so much, it wont make anything better.
everyone is scared of you, especially me.
i dont know how mommy can be so tolerant and unfilching around you.
dont take your frustration out on me,
i've done literally nothing to piss you off.
i stay out of your sight most of the day, so i'll never be "in your way",
like what you usually exclaim while going on in your ramppage.
i dont spend a lot of your money,
neither do i ask for lots of material things from you, unless i desperately need it.
i know christopher can be stupid most of the time and irresponsible,
but if you want to scold him, dont involve me in it.
i've been a good daughter 80% of the time,
and i didnt screw my o'levels up like you expected me to.
im not much of a rebel and i dont abuse drugs or alcohol,
i dont have a boyfriend- just like what you think is sensible for a girl my age,
so even though im "useless", i didnt do anything to wrong you.
please stop shouting?
you get very ilogical when you're angry like this,
and nobody can argue with you, no matter how incorrect you are.
i only burst in tears cause i just cant tell you anything without you getting worked up.
you render me problematic and difficult in times like these.
im sorry, but i do die trying to explain myself to you sometimes,
you have a great illness when it comes to comprehending what i tell you.
maybe if you calm down, less steam will go to your head and you can think clearly?
i know you'll never read this,
but maybe someday i'd have the guts to print this in a letter to you.
i just hope i'll never have to show this to you,
cause it'll be the point where i cannot take your "emotional" constipation anymore.
love
natalie
Monday, March 06, 2006
it really does.
&*@#&^!)(#!@&!$!%$@!^#
fwaaaaa! ):
anyway,
I HAVE A SLIGHTLY SWOLLEN LEFT EYE.
I WANT TO KILL MYSELF CAUSE IT ANNOYSSSSS MEEEEE.
KAPUT!!!
oookay, im going to vomit.
cause myheartskipsabeat and everything in my head just races.
ugh!
by the way, im going to rp to do new media. -__-
im not happy about it.
but i cant be bothered to appeal again. bahh!
okay wait, im NOT going to say 'bahh!' anymore.
i will say 'gahh!'.this is so strange.
hmmpf. i am pissed. okay, never mind. BYE.
Friday, March 03, 2006
it's hilarious! HAHAHAHA.
pay attention to the person at the door too. hahahahaha.
okay, this has been a weird day.
i did a strange this first thing i woke up in the afternoon.
and when i came home i had to move out of my room. ):
cause i was getting a new one next to mine and my room's being rented out.
so i took half the day shifting all my stuff and throwing things out with my dad.
tonight im sleeping in my old room, cause i havent moved the bed yet.
it's gonna be so weird sleeping in my empty room.
i dont think i wanna sleep anymore actually. /:
and though i've lived here for less than a year,
my room already has a few memories,
though i dont really like it that much.
so it's a good thing im getting a new cool room. (:
but the toilet is funny. the shower is broken and shit. -__-"
okay, our results will be out officially in a matter of hours.
i am nervous. ):
okay, well i've nothing to say,
partly cause i dont feel extremely sad nor happy today.
lol.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
you dont need to find out how much that is.
i need to go on a long holiday, far far away.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
until i came home and some stupid shit happened. ):
anyway, here are photos. im not a genius with my words.
tessa, hett and i. (:
yes, it's my infamous face again. lol.
im sorry! i kow i look major cheekopehk here! hahahaha.
tessa on the bridge. she's scared. hahaha.
hetty! i swear there are no photomanips on any of these photos! (:
tessa.
hetts.
by now you must be thinking... WOW, NAT HAS A NEW CAMERA?
well, not quite. /: but yes, im using a wayyy better one from nikon. (:
SPAZ SPAZ SPAZ!!!! HAHAHA.
as i said, no photomanip at all. cool eh? (:
and then at the end of the day, i learnt how to play 'gin'. (: it's uber fun! lol.
okay, that's it for today.
oh yea, some drunk lifeguard called daryl made friends with us after his shift.
it/he was quite weeeirdd. /:
more photos linked under latest photos. yup. manymany! album is disappearing day.
end!
Monday, February 27, 2006
time: 8.30pm, location: club gas haus.
yea, im bored and i have no life.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
meng's kitchen with the churchies.
however i only have these photos of me and majo. lol.
sarah and i at starbucks. she's moving over to redhill today. ):
Friday, February 24, 2006
I HAD WAY TOO MUCH SUGAR IN ONE NIGHT!
AND CAFFINE!
I LOVE MOCHA FRAPPS!
AND JUICEFULS!
MAJO, DO YOU REMEMBER CAT CLASS WITH JUICEFULS? :D
WE USED TO THROW THE WRAPPERS ALL OVER THE FLOOR. LOL.
YAYZA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
NOW I FEEL SOFA KING RESTLESS AND MY LIFE STINKS.
MY RP INTERVIEW IS TMR.
I FIGURED IF I GET INTO RP,
IF FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS I HATE IT,
I'LL JUST GO TO NAFA,
EVEN MY MOM AGREES TO IT! HAHAHAHA.
WHOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I HAD STARBUCKS WITH SARAH AT LIKE 10PM.
AND IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS SINCE.
AND SOOOO THIS IS WHEN MY SUGAR LEVEL IS MOST BUZZY.
HAHAAHAHHHAAHA.
I HAVE NO FRIGGIN CLEWWW WHAT THAT MEANS.
ANYWAY, IM KINDA UNHAPPY. AHAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
CAUSE SOMEONE MAKES ME SADDDDDDDD.
WHOOHOO. HAHAHAHA.
OHOHOH.
AND SOME PEOPLE, WHO ARENT EVEN CLOSE TO ME,
THINKS I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND!
WELL, FUCK YOU!
CAUSE I DONTTT. :DSO DONT THINK I'LL BE OKAY IF BRYAN HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND!
I CANT PICTURE MYSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE AT THE MOMENT.
IT JUST REALLY SUCKS.
PLUS, SECONDARY SCHOOL BOYS ARE IMMATURE
AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SMS OR TALK TO THEM FIRST,
SO WHY BOTHER? IM NOT INTERESTED IN TAKING CHASE. LOL.
AAAAANDDD, SECONDARY SCHOOL BOYS ARE NOT MEN.
MEN, ARE LIKE STEVIE. STEVIE IS 23 YEARS OLD.
BUT HE LIVES IN TEXAS, WHICH REALLY STINKS.
CAUSE STEVIE IS HAWWT. OLD. A NINJA AND IS MILES AWAY. ):
BOOHOO.
HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH!
IT IS LIKE IM HIGH. FUCK, MY HEAD HURTS SO BAAD NOW.
AND PAUL WONT BE CALLING ME TONIGHT TO ENTERTAIN ME.
I MIGHT AS WELL START TAKING SLEEPING PILLS NOW.
CAUSE IM SO UNSETTLED, AND BOREDDDDDDD!
TEEEHEEEEEEE.
I SHALL PUT A COLLAGE ON SARAH AND I TMR EVENING OR SOMETHING.
RIGHT NOW IM TOO LAZY TO UPLOAD PHOTOS INTO MY OTHER COM
AND THEN TRANSFER IT TO A FLOPPY DISC.
YESYES, MY CAMERA IS SPOILT AANDDD I DONT HAVE PHOTOSHOP IN HERE.
GIVE ME BACK MY PHOTOSHOP CD, YOU FAT HOE!
LOLLLL!
AND STUPID PAUL HAS BEEN SPREADING MY SHEEPY ABOUT!
STOP IT YOU DUMB ASS!
SHEEPY IS MINE! ANDDDDDD WILLY GAVE SHEEPY TO MEEEEE.
SHEEPY IS MY FAVE EMOTICON! :D
AND I THINK IT'S A RAM, BUT I PREFER TO CALL IT SHEEPY.
TIANTIAN HATES SHEEPY.
HE SAYS SHEEPY MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE PUNG SAI.
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
I DUNNO WHY BUT PUNG SAI MAKES ME EXTREMELY TICKLED.
YAY YAY YAY.
OKAY, SO STOP STEALING MY SHEEPY. BYE.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
woke up so early in sooo many weeks. lol.
anyway, miss shanti made me change my tee for mass -__-"
i have no idea what's wrong with my tee shirt,
or maybe cause my boxers were showing.
so stewwpit.
OH YEA. AND EVERYONE,
NOTE THAT MY SURNAME FOR MY INDIVIDUAL PHOTO
IN THE YEAR BOOK IS WRONGGGG!
NATALIE SATKUNASINGAM.
that is friggin nisha's surname and she's next to me!
STUPID TYPO!
I AM NATALIE JEAN HO SIU JEN!
YES, FOR ONCE I AM ACTUALLY PROUD OF IT! HAHA.
so yea, I HAVE NOT MARRIED AN INDIAN MAN
NOR AM I INDON! BAHH!
oh yes, and do not eat sweet beancurd from sushi bars,
THEY ARE REALLY GROSS!
nora and i learnt well today. hahahaha.
neek's birthday. just a mini collage i did.
photos from majo. (:
Sunday, February 19, 2006
it was at faber garden's then over to ashley's condo...
this and that. that and this.
fuck. i hate alcohol so much now.
so this concludes that:
i hate clubbing
(i hate hip hop and r&b, i hate the stupid dancing.)
and now i despise alcohol.
i fell asleep for one hour plus after getting off the phone
but stayed up all night on the phone cause i just couldnt settle my thoughts.
i could hear voices of so many people, paul and elias singing champagne supernova,
and images that just made me feel fucking sick.
it's never been that bad before?
stupid tequila shots.
im so not drinking any undiluted alcohol anymore. ):
well, i hope i havent done anything more stupid than what i remembered last night.
maybe i wasnt as bad as cristian.
haha. the idiot dropped his wallet in a toilet bowl.
okayyy. nothing more to say, cept i attended 7am mass today. woot!
END.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
like seriously fucking annoyed lah.
i think i shall go for novena now,
since i have nothing better to do other than wait.
bye.
Friday, February 17, 2006
and as you can see... andy tagged along too. lol.
now im in stitches over you- im over you.
you know. i updated twice yesterday, but the posts never showed up.
well, all i have to say is that
maybe i should sleep,
but what's the point when all i dream about
is words you used to say to me?
though i think about you constantly,
it's not like it should affect your life anymore
you've got me down on my knees
as i proclaim "all hail the heartbeaker!"
and i cant understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends.
well, tmr will be a better day. im sure of it.
thank you my dearest robot rese and tessa. (:
i wish both of you all the happiness there is to offer.
love you both. <33
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
):
study hard and grow up, please.
Monday, February 13, 2006
this year seems to have a bigger hooha to it.
oh well, there was actually gonna be some hooha to mine this year,
but i somehow i just couldnt involve myself in it. ugh.
anways, i woke up early today,
so im kinda tired out and stuff lah.
had to help my mom do stuff in the shop.
at first it was fucking stupid and all answering the phone
and then being all... 'hold on please.' or 'can i take a message? she's engaged now.'
so i thought it was uber dumb lah.
but then i got to sit in front of the com and type out cards,
(you dont know how mushymushy people can get! haha.)
write out orders and delievery thingums.
and finally i could leeeeeave.
yup. and the shop was so cold lah,
plus i was only in a tee and berms.
so for the rest of the evening i just felt so cold.
yeaaap. okay. now im crossing my fingers and toes and everything that tp will call me and say,
'you have been accepted into vsc.'
woot. that'll be so shiok, and it'll make my year. not day... YEAR.
SO PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!
i love you all. BYE!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
but im just too tired to get my act together.
i feel like i lost some kind of drive... i dont know?
or maybe it's been gone for so long,
but now since i have hardly anything to occupy myself with,
it's a pointless feeling.
there's a tight knot in my stomach
and i have no idea how to make it go away.
ally, why didjoo go offline for?
well, okay... you got your internship,
and i got my sit at home and answer calls for my mom thing to do tmr.
ugh. i think i need to go for a real holiday.
like by the beach, but with less/no sun,
cause i dont wanna get burnt and skin cancer.
maybe i'd go for like two weeks.
sit there read books, listen to music, eat, drink, swim.
yea, that'll be cool.
but noooooooooooooooooo. i have no money, and my parents are too busy to take me anywhere.
boohoo. im stuck here feeling bored.
well, anyways, today was spent with ally, kc and jude.
watched the constant gardener at ps,
you'd like it if you're willing to listen to the conversations and stuff carefully.
yup, lots of diplomatic stuff, scams, etc. going on in the movie.
then i had to go to my grandma's for dinner.
yes, now im home and it's almost midnight.
sunday nights are so dead. i hate sunday nights.
cant wait till the next weekend!
but for now, i bid you, reader, a happy week ahead.
caught myself wishing you back.
dont tell me im emo.
dont tell me i dress like an emokid.
dont label me, im untitled.
and most of all, dont piss me off.
i feel dead all over again.
and i hate my life.
i need to go for therapy or something.
my parents and brother are out of the house.
im the queen of this lair today and half of tmr.
i'd be real happy, but im not.
in fact, i want to just go sit at a clean beach and cry my eyes out.
and i want to go there now, in the dead of 4am when there's no sun and nobody.
i dont care if at this point of time,
you think im contradicting the first paragraph of this entry, im not.
im just like this now,
and tmr i will wake up, go to church, pray and my day will be rosey all over again.
i need to vomit.
i dont know what im doing.
i would trade everything i have for just one thing in this world.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
i cant say im upset about it,
neither can i say im over joyed.
i feel okay, cause there's less worrying to do.
i alrdy sent in my application with jae,
and so now im just crossing my fingers and everything else
that they'd accept me.
everyone who reads this and cares, please pray i get into vsc!
thanks yea.
okay, today was pretty tiring,
travelled here and there.
home to toapayoh to town to home to upp thomson to green to upp thomson back home.
seems like i haven't only been travelling physically.
but emotionally too. how fucked up.
im so sick of this.
i wish everything would just go back to the way they were before.
i feel so out of focus, so confused with what i want/need.
i hate myself for all this and i hate myself for being selfish.
everyday i look at my phone and hope against all hope
that some miracle would strike me and
something great would happen to my life and we can all live happiley ever after again.
well, hope is but a disease, and i just want to go back a month ago
and just correct all my stupid mistakes i made.
but for now, i'd just live with what i have and pray for the best to come.
i hope you have a great weekend ahead.
Friday, February 10, 2006
we're gonna get our results in about 12 hours and 15min plus time!
CAN YOU FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT RACING?
CAN YOU TASTE THE FEAR IN HER SWEAT?
WHOOHOO!
I CAN! and i just drank some bailey's at neek's.
whooohoooooooooooooooo. im all whoohoo-ey now.
I FEEL CRAPPY!
BUT I FEEL SO NUMB!
ALLY: if you read this tonight, im meeting donn and all at 1.30pm before we get our results. OOOH, RESULTS! okay, shut up, nat. yea, so if you want you can meet us then. CALL ME AT 12 OR SOMETHING! I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE WE'D GO VSC TOGETHER!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
umy day was okay. yup!
and cristian is a chicken who's scared of ghosts! hahahaha!
and yesterday was spent with ally at her place. (:
so here's a photo of her cause i love her so (and i think it's hilarious!)...
dont get mad with me, ally! i love you! :D
Monday, February 06, 2006
OKAY, IM EXAGERRATING, BUT STILL I JUST FEEL SO FUCKING PISSED.
I HATE HOW EVERYTHING IS GOING
AND STUPID OLEVEL RESULTS ARE OUT ON FRIDAY.
IM NOT GONNA DO WELL.
IM GOING TO GO TO SOME STUPID BMC PRIVATE SCHOOL IN THE END.
WHOOHOO.
FUCK LAH. AND I MY THROAT HURTS.
IM SO FRUSTRATED WITH MY LIFE.
AND I MISS MY LOUSY CAMERA.
I THOUGHT IT REALLY SUCKED,
BUT NOW IT DOESNT EVEN WORK AND I HAVE NO MONEY TO GET A NEW ONE.
I AM FUCKING ALONE IN THIS STUPID WORLD.
I WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY FOR TWO MONTHS ALONE
SO I DONT HAVE TO SEE ANYONE HERE.
OH WAIT, I WONT HAVE A PROPER CAMERA TO TAKE PHOTOS OF ALL THE STUFF
AND I'D JUST FEEL ALL FRUSTRATED ALL OVER AGAIN.
FUCK, THERE'S NO ESCAPING, IS THERE?
I BLOODY HELL DUNNO WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.
I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING.
AND I FEEL FUCKING FRUSTRATED CAUSE I CANT LET THIS OUT BY DOING ART.
IM SO SCARED I CANT GET INTO THE COURSE I WANT TO.
FUCK LAH.
NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
clickclickclick!
http://www.youtube.com/w/?v=0pBR5-YJaMM
you know, i woke up about half an hour ago, 4pm.
and i was just lying in bed for a few more minutes
thinking about what i dreamt of while i was asleep.
it's funny how you can have two dreams of the same person
but in each scenerio, it's totally different
and you dont remember what happened in the first dream
when you're in the second dream until you wake up to realise.
well, maybe it's only me. but i doubt so.
and i realise every single night i dream of the same thing,
or should i say... same person?
and every night it's a happy dream, until something goes wrong in it.
i seriously hate dreaming, cause it leaves you with such false hopes
and you have to remind yourself that it's all in your head. ugh.
but somehow, dreams can sorta tell you the subconscious truth about yourself.
about a situation you're currently stuck in.
and looking at these dreams, they seem to really reflect what i would prefer to deny.
it's like there's a longing in both characters in the dream,
but of course there was some problem in it that stopped what each dersired.
it could be a really small thing, but details do mean a lot sometimes.
okay, i must be real psycho, waking up late and letting all this get to me.
well, gotta get ready for church now, i feel so lazy though. ugh.
END.
Friday, February 03, 2006
it was a screwy set. ):
i think it's possible our first was better,
partly cause the sound system at np was sucky,
good thing the crowd wasnt huge at all.
and i guess for our first gig we were all rearing and excited.
today was too hot and we were kinda pissed at the joke of a sound system.
had prata with the churchies after it and went to bk at thomson plaza
with cristian and paul to slack since we didnt wanna go home.
hmm... i have a long grandma story
about how i got to take one huge round to reach home,
all thanks to stupid chingay parade road closure. (ugh!)
but im too lazy to blog about it. and it's not interesting either.
photos of the gig are up in latest photos, the album is 'np gig'.
majo took them for us.
sorry if you see too much of me. it's none of my doings!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
3rd feb '05, friday (tomorrow).
3pm!
come earlier just in case you get a little lost.
and if you dont think you can make it cause of school, well, ZHAO SCHOOL then!
i hate people who come talk to me, while im second place in their eyes.
it's cool how you can see the tone of the person talking to you online change,
when a certain someone else signs online.
i rather not talk to anyone in that case. users.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
how is it that i cannot be as strong as i thought i could?
and why do i always feel like this.
im seriously confused with the way things are now.
i havent told anyone anything.
so nobody understands, nobody knows.
it's 3.30am for fuck's sakes.
who would want to listen to me and accept all that i have to spill?
well, it's just so suckful. no such word, but... phooey.
i wish everything would go back to the way it was a month ago.
where i had my sights on only one thing,
when i knew what i wanted to do.
now im just all... mixed up.
and though i need to be alone for awhile,
it's impossible cause i'll be counting down time till i can feel alive again.
like i need to find some peace of mind, but yet i cant cause i want to have my fun.
stupid nat, stupid.
im hungry. and im grumpy. and im annoyed. and im bored.
SO SUE ME. ugh.
i dont know why i feel all pissywissy now. hmm.
maybe i need it to be a school holiday for everyone,
so that i'd have people to go out with and enjoy the day,
or maybe i need a new digi cam. ):
sheesh.
or maybe i've been listening to too much indie and emo.
im kinda getting tired of screamo stuff lah,
or maybe i just need more songs in my computer.
im so audio deprived! (if there's such a thing).
well, yea... and i guess i need a job,
but i've been too bummed out to do that either.
and last night leslie and i had a very "interesting" online conversation.
okay, not all that interesting for me, but for him it was?
ugh. or maybe i was just wayyy too bored.
LESLIE, COME ONLINE NOW AND TALK TO MEEEEE PLEASEEEEE.
oh yea, and though i feel crappy i had a fun day.
it wasnt a good day, it was just fun. yup. there's a difference.
went down to borders first and met the chaichais,
then waited for majo, elias, paul, cristian, edwin and someguyicantrememberhisname to come.
hmm. yup. had dinner with the family and then went jamming at soundlab.
and guess what. nobody booked the studio! genius! hahaha.
lucky there was a room available, though it was small and the amps sucked.
cant believe we're gonna jam tmr in the same room again again. ugh.
yea. and we perspired quite alot cause of all the moving around.
but it was fun though damn tiring. yup.
END!
NORA: WHERE ARE YOU, MY COMIC RELIEF?
Sunday, January 29, 2006
it's not the new year! it's bloody 29th january!
chinese people can be so disillusional at times.
like lets stick hugeass joss sticks into a pot of ashes! it's gooood luck!
whoohooooo. not.
well, yea, the only good part is getting new stuff and moneys.so in a way, im glad im chinese.
i got a new tooth brush today too.
and the bristles are fucking hard! stupid. plus, it's ORANGE.
I HATE ORANGE AND YELLOW COLOURS.
anyway, yes, i havent counted how much i've collected today yet.
and tmr i have to go to my dad's friend's house for dinner.
more sitting around doing nothing, being asked rhetorical questions and being polite.
ugh.
well, was browsing vf again and came across this photo. it's so cute! (:
AND HELLO, HANDSOME! sorry, but i dont know his name.
HETTY: STOP STEALING MY HANDSOME BOYS. :D
amen to the prev entry,
i really dont care if i never wake up again.
yup. okay, it's already chinese new year,
and i realise i have to wake up fucking early for church.
and then go visiting.
I DREAD THE THOUGHT OF VISITING.
okay, i like the moneys part
but i hate seeing my extended family.
like the second cousins, cause they are so cheena
and i have nooo idea what they talk about
cause my cousins are all younger than me and childish.
woot.
at least i have new clothes and shoes!
but the shoes arent vision street wear ):
cause they didnt have my size and my mom says it wasnt worth 119 bucks,
so like... okay, screw it.
i got vans instead.
had to leave a deposit cause they had no stock whatsoever.
and then when i went back the next day,
they said they didnt have the design i wanted.
so okay, now i have the same slip ons as leslie.
no, not the orangey ones!
the black and white checkered one. yup.
but i thought the thing at the side was supp to white.
in the end it's exactly the same as leslie's.
boo. and it's a little too big for me but im managing lah.
CURSE MY SMALL FEET.
whatever. okay. hmm.
yea. so now there's hardly anyone online to talk to me and im fucking bored.
oh yes, ally and i had this online convo...
and i really dont care if i never wake up again says:
i feel like dying my hair.
i should have given you a reason to stay. :
i feel like dying.
and i really dont care if i never wake up again says:
come to think of it...
and i really dont care if i never wake up again says:
ME TOOAH!
like okay, look at our nicknames. soooo eMoOoOo.
UGH. FUCK IT. WHO WANTS TO BE ALL SAD AND EMO ANYWAY?
and what's it with people studdenly liking daphne loves derby's midnight highway?
like whatever, it's sucky shit now to me anyway,
all meaning is gone.
my love, my camera, all those dreams.
all fucked.
so yes, once again i stress...
HAPPY CNY. MAY IT BE PROSPEROUS AND FULFILLING UNLIKE MINE. WOOT.
stupid shit.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
every breath that I exhale is a sigh of exhaustion.
How sad - this is what your life has
been reduced to - a single room apartment containing no more than a mattress.
The strings have been removed from the blinds and all the outlets have been
painted over. The television screen is streaked with blood smeared from your
knuckles as you were trying to punch it out but you underestimated its
strength, or maybe you just weren't trying hard enough. Startled by a knock
at the door you rise for the first time in two days to answer, but you can
only greet the visitor with one short statement. Hello my first name is
distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again. Hello my name is
distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again. Hello I really
don't care if I never wake up again. I really don't care if I never wake up
again.
i want to kill something.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
NAMELY MAJO, AILEEN, JO, SIMONE, VEEKAY, BRENDAN, CC, ASHLEY, JOHN, NEEK AND PAUL.
http://www.youtube.com/?v=NLZbxjRUTmQ
AND TO WHOEVER WANTS A GOOD LAUGH OR IS KAYPOH. HAHA.
stupid fucking com is screwed up.
everything is screwed up.
there was only ONE good thing that happened to me today.
okay, actually, i dont even know if it's good or not.
all i know is that it's not bad, cause i didnt do shit to stop it.
ah. whatever. im still stuck in this shit.
plus, i have nobody to go shopping for my damn cny clothes tmr.
so you can say my day is goodza... not.
and if anyone is interested in shopping at bugis with me tmr,
CALL ME! ANYTIME.
i caught myself, wishing you back.
reflections- from autumn to ashes
Monday, January 23, 2006
THERE'S THIS REALLY HAWT BOY CALLED DICKY
AND HE'S FROM TALLIN, ESTONIA. WHICH REALLY SUCKS.
CAUSE HE REALLY IS SO FUCKING HAWWT
AND I WANT TO KISS HIM. HERE'S A PHOTO!
AHHHHHHHHHHH! I LOVE DICKY.
THOUGH HE HAS ONE HELLUVA WEIRD NAME.
BUT HE IS SO SEXZY. HAHA. BYE.
i love daphne loves derby! they are soooo indie and sad.
hahahahahahahahaha. and there are soo many songs that reflect how i feel,
but i decided to just put this one up. hopeless love is good too. listen to them!
Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass
I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,
Didn't think you'd feel so far away
Your summer perfume is still, blowing through this hallway,
Autumn's amber red shadows dance
I miss our midnight rides on highway 18, 18 is gone.
So go past the lights and all the excuses
You could have left "sincerely yours"
Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more?
Cause anything too daring to say to you,
Will be said in this letter, then burned away
So you never realize, I'm here.
I'm thinking of your vague reply
So I can understand
Why we put this at rest
Why we forget to say, that we were leaving
Say that we were sorry
The past remains unspoken
As this vacant night is dying
But I still miss your summer perfume
This cold air brings such a distance to us
Such a painful distance
I'm still waiting for you to say you hate me now
So I don't have to hold on to this burning heart
This burning heart is getting old, getting old
While sitting on this cold kitchen floor,
Head down to hide the tears, ive realized
I've finally realized that you were never meant for me.
midnight highway- daphne loves derby
Sunday, January 22, 2006
BUT i didnt, cause i was toooo tired to go for morning mass at holy spirit.
so i went for evening mass at novena,
cause i was too lazy to walk to sacred heart, plus it was raining.
STUPID RAIN.
though i told my parents i went to sacred heart.
i guess it's so that they wont ask sooo many questions lah. yup.
and for the record, i went alone. so nothing to 'woot' about.
OH OH OH! but i saw this guy wearing eyeliner!
or at least he looked like he was wearing eyeliner.
hahahahahahahaha. he's so HAWWT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
whooooooooooooooooo.
okay, but i saw him for like half a minute or less when he walked past.
boo. BUT YES, HE'S STILL SO HAWWT.
LIKE FRANK IEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WOOT!
OKAY. well. im having my dinner now, and it's almost eleven.
ugh. long story. and it's stupid macdonalds.
anway, i cant wait till we jam the next time.
IT IS EXHILIRATING.
yes, except there's some problem with my bass now.
im not sure what but i practice half way at home and then it kaputs on me.
so i think i should change the battery or smth. YUP.
okay, that's it for today.
END!
Saturday, January 21, 2006
or i walk/run in the rain, it reminds me of bryan.
STOP RAINING. I DONT NEED IT TO RAIN ANYMORE.
cause nowadays, it rains on the inside too.
AND I HATE RAIN CAUSE IT'S WET AND DRIPPY AND ALL OVER MY FACE.
i am seriously one stupid shithead.
like how everything cant live without it raining,
like how rain is everywhere when you're not sheltered,
it's like him always being in my head and letting every small thing remind me of him,
like how i always need him around.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!
CAN YOU FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT RACING?
CAN YOU TASTE THE FEAR IN YOUR SWEAT?
IT'S GONE TO FAR BLABLABLABLABLABLA
SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING
IM JUST A FOOL FOR YOU!
JUST A FOOL FOR YOU!
YEAAAAA. MY BAND IS GONNA PLAY THAT SONG AT OUR NP GIG!
it's a boy brushed in red... living in black and white by underoath.
SO COME WATCH US SCREW IT UP.
okay, just kidding, we'll try not to screw it up.
yupyup. 3rd feb, ngee ann poly, 3pm!
today we all went for the tp open house.
i so wanna do vsc in tp! ugh. haha.
well, met chris, clare, willy, shaun adam, justin, bryan and sly at serangoon,
and took a bus there.
and met majo, cc, ashley, elias, paul and brendan there.
yea. did some "maxim" cover thing with bryan and sly.
it was quite weird but really cool anyways. hahahaha.
yup. and watched two skits by the business school.
not of my interest, by the way. yup.
so left at six plus.
YUP. and tmr we're going jamming. YAY.
something to do! kk.
overall, i liked today. (:
PAUL: GIRLS DONT CUM YOU SICK SHIT!
NIGEL: I DONT HAVE SOOOO MUCH MONEYS TO CALL YOU LAH. HAHA. YOU LIVE SO FAR AWAY NOW. ): COME HOME SOOON! AND I DID CONSIDER CALLING YOU, BUT I REALISED IT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE TO DO OVERSEAS CALLS. BOO.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
can you all just fuck off? seriously.
anyway, apart from me feeling fucking annoyed by people,
my life is falling into place quite well.
plus, i wrote a kickass song today.
it's been awhile since i wrote a song or anything that was satisfactory,
so i must say im quite pleased with myself.
i know it's weird how most people must be depressed or sad to write,
but for me, when im unhappy i cant write or do anything at all.
so yea, lets just say things are getting better, but it's not.
yup. and tmr we are going for the tp open house!
who are 'we'? umm... lots of people! haha. okay.
hmmm. and my band has a gig coming up! yay!
but of course people are gonna laugh at us.
or maybe just me, cause i look stupid playing bass.
OH YES. and HER BLACK DESPONDENCY, will no longer be stupid HBD anymore!
we havent discussed the new band name yet. but stupid HBD annoys us.
or at least only leslie and i. so yeaaaaaaaaa!
and hopefully, tmr the people from nydc will call me and tell me to start work soon.
so it looks like i will start being more occupied in life alrdy! yay!
okay. so my life is like... almost perfect now. yup.
just that one person missing.
but hey, at least things are looking up a bit.
oh gees, my left shoulder is fucking pain.
like the muscles are all stressed up and tensed.
hmm. nvm. okay. so ummmm... yea.
i feel quite happy.apart from the bunch of stupid people who made fun of me yesterday.
NAT: I DONT WANT YOU TO BE AN AMP. CAUSE I DONT WANT TO HUMP YOU! HAHA.
IF YOU TAGGED ME A MILLION TIMES CAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO POST AN ENTRY WITH YOUR NAME LIKE THIS AND SHIT, WELL, YOU GOT IT! HAHAHAHAHA.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
EAT CHOCOLATE. IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
NOT FUCKING HAPPY. BUT JUST HAPPY.
JUST LIKE ME. KIT KAT MAKES ME HAPPY.
AND SO DOES DOING PHYSICS STRUCTURED QUESTIONS.
HAHA. I FEEL HAPPY.
ELIAS: I CANT COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG ANYMORE AND I DONT KNOW WHY. PISSINGS LAH. ANYWAY, I HUGGED MY AMP FROM THE TOP. SO IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS HUMPING IT. BUT I REALLY HUGGED IT CAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH IT. WHOOHOO! SO DONT PRETEND TO BE MR MARSHALL/LANEY/PEAVEY AMPLIFIER ON MY TAG BOARD YEA? HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Lord, can you please heal broken hearts tonight?
this is seriously fucked up.
everyone is just fucking sad.
im not even concerned about myself anymore.
and i cant believe all this shit is happening.
and i hate how i cant do anything about it.
on a more cheerful note,
jamming today was not bad, i think we improved.
but i need to be faster for asleep at the wheel.
umm. yea. and jamming today was more fun than usual.
hmmm... okay. right. im not happy enough for this. fuck it.
i am listening to matchbook romance right now.
wah laooo. tigerlily and stay tonight are like big-time tearjerkers.
I FUCKING WANT TO CRY! HAHA!
okay. so im not actually 'haha'-happy.
it's just so lame for me to cry.
bfivhcewirjvlqwejrvuvwopi
HELP ME STOP BEING SO HONEST AND OPEN HERE.
HARROW. IM LISTENING TO SENSES FAIL NOW.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG. SINCE I DID. HAHA.
AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPY AND SHIT.
I RATHER HURT SOMEONE THAN HURT MYSELF
I'LL DISPOSE OF YOU LIKE A LIGHTER AND A FUEL
I'LL LOSE YOU SOMEWHERE ON THE SHELF!
HAHAHAHHAA. OKAY. IM SORRY ABOUT THE BURSTING OUT IN SONG.
I SAID THAT YOU WERE MY FIRST
BUT YOU WERENT EVEN CLOSE NOW.
WHOOHOO!
YOU'RE JUST ONE OF MANY!
I AM TRYING TO BE HAPPY. I REALLY AM.
OH. AND THE JOB INTERVIEW TODAY WAS BETTER THAN EXPECTED.
THOUGH I HARDLY TALKED CAUSE MAJ AND ASHES COULDNT SHUT UP.
SO IF FRIDAY THEY DONT CALL ME BACK I KNOW WHY!
TMR IM GOING JAMMING. YAY.
I HAVE SOMTHING TO DO! GOODZAAAA.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
nat
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
i read your blog
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
youre not stupid
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
hmm
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
i hope so
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
youre talented and i think you should know that you can make it far in graphics or what you wanna do
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
plus,
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
it doesnt matterif you feel lost or like the whole world oesnt understand you
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
because you will always have friends like me to listen
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
and jesus is always with you
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
even if you made the hugest mistake
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
right now you hate the world cause youre hurt and sad and its okay
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
cause someone just walked all over your open heart
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
and its okay to feel like killing everyone
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
im heere
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
always
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
when youre lost or lonely or cant even say a word
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
yopu could call me just to tell me that the grass is green
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
i'll always be here
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
and if youre lonely i could always be some company
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
thank you.
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
that's really nice of you.
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
im crying now.
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
haha
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
noooooo
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
oh
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
okay its alright to cry
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
its a good way to let it alll out
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
and im serious about everything i just said.
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
good things come
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
i know
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
i hope so
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
but you are put through bad things too
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
to teach you
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
dont hope.
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
know
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
know that good things will come to you.
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
okay i know
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
(:
nat : emotionally murdered and hopeless. says:
thanks ally
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
anytime tweenie
and there's no place for me on your mind. says:
(:
i love ally so. she always puts faith back in me. i cant say it in any better way.
OH. and this is the post on ally's blog. that really brought me to tears...
for two of my favourite people
natalie jean ho, and leon at agressive dot com.
When they push, when they pull
Tell me can you hold on
When they say you should change
Can you lift your head high and stay strong
Will you give up, give in
When your heart's crying out "that is wrong"
Will you love you for you at the end of it all
Now in life there's gonna be times
When you're feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is
Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar
The boy who wonders, is he good enough for them
Keep trying to please them all
But he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be
Good enough for him
He's trying to change and
That's a game she'll never win
In life there will be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that one thing we should know is
Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers they will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar
In the mirror is where she comes
Face to face with her fears
Her reflection looked forward on to her
After all these years
However how she's tried to be
Something besides herself
Now time has passed and she's ended up
Somewhere else with regret
What is it is that makes us feel the need
To keep pretending
Gotta let ourselves be
Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
Don't wait no more
Spread your wings and soar
Find your road
Love will open every door
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't look back in the window, you'll find your way
Always know all the answers will unfold
Oh don't wait
Spread your wings and soar
Don't wait no more
You've got to soar
Spread your wings and soar
Don't wait no more
No don't you wait no more
Spread your wings and soar
You've can soar
So what you waiting for
Don't wait, don't wait
Soar
heartbreak is but another lesson to learn my friends.love you guys.
she is just the sweetest.
Monday, January 16, 2006
okay. right now im in a pissy bad mood. dont know why. hmmm. UGH. anywayyyyy... I AM SUPER BORED. and i feel all sleepy and no mood to do anything unless it involves bryan. whoops. okay. HMMM. right. my life is now so boring and mundane. i dont mind doing someone's physics homework. hahahahaha. or math. as long as it's not geog or bio or ss/hist can lah. HELLOOOO. MY LIFE SUCKSSSS. no excitment. no nothing. whoopdeedoo. but i expect tmr to be much more fun. cause me, neek, majo, paul and ashes are going for a job interview tmr at nydc. yay! so even if i dont get the job, i wont go alone and i wont be bored! YAYY. okay. hmm. I REALLY AM BOREDD. AND it's not even 9.30pm and i feel sleepy. THIS IS A MIRACLE. haha. and on wednesday we are going to jam! YAY. it involves bryan! OKAY. hmmm. right. hi. uhmm. so i was just thinking of past things. and i feel really pissed that somethings turn out soooo bad for me and somethings are just whoohoo! perfect! for people.bahh. whatever. yes. so like okay nat is now in suckfest slowly slipping into hell. hmmm... that's interesting. really? no shit! hmmm. okay. hmm.... and right now if you can see me (which is highly uimpossible) i am sitting on the usual computer seat with my left leg up and im sucking my left pinky. okay. that was totally ranodom. but im feeling happy typing this shit out. it's quite therapeutic. like as long as i know there's going to be someone reading this. im going to be less bored and i have... ummm... AIYA. fuck it lah. HAHAHA. i have no idea what im going on about. anywayyyyyyyy.... SOMEONE CALL ME TONIGHT OR NOW PLEASE! okay. tams for reading dizzz. goodza bye.
HI. I AM VERY BORED NOW. AND WHEN I GET BORED MY MIND STARTS TO WANDER INTO PLACES IT SHOULDNT GO TO. NO, IM NOT THINKING DIRTY! MY MIND ALWAYS HAS TO GO DIG UP ALL THE OLDEST MOST PAINFUL MEMORIES. YES, IM OKAY, BUT I JUST CAN NEVER STAY STRONG FOR TOO LONG. IM TRYING TO LIVE MY STUPID LIFE AS NORMALLY AS I CAN AGAIN. IT'S DIFFICULT BUT IM TRYING. FUCKKKKK. FUCKKKKKK. MAYBE I SHOULD READ 14/01/06 ENTRY AGAIN. JUST TO CALM MY NERVES AND REMIND ME IT'S GONNA BE OKAY AND THIS PAIN IS ONLY TEMPORARY.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
it was fun and i didnt have to spend it sleeping as i thought i would have.
went to church in the morning.
wanted to go for legion after sooo long but i kept putting my phone on snooze
from 9am till 10.15am i kept snoozing it until i could only make it for mass!
hahaha. cause legion starts at 10am. was damn tired lah.
yup. then we went for lunch.
at first i thought lunch was gonna be super boring at prata house or thomson plaza
but we went subway at far east. then sat around for a long time just talking shit.
i think it was cause i had wayyy too much coke to drink.
plus i was so thirsty i drank it through the straw so fast! HAHA.
whoohoo! hahahahahahhaha. anywayyyy.....
i think PAUL TWOHILL IS FUCKING SICK.
he makes fun of maj like mad
and thinks girls can stand in the corner of their rooms smiling to themselves till they cum.
WTF. GIRLS DONT CUM.
anyway... after it we walked arnd far east
with miss seah looking for her friend's birthday present. damn choosy, know!
then we went to pac plaza cause she wanted to go mambo.
john, brenny and jo didnt believe there was a mambo,
and aileen bet five bucks with them that there was. HAHA. EASY MONEY SIALLLLLL.
okay, after buying it we just sat on one of those benches stoning and talking.
okay, i was stoning cause i was still tired lah.
then we decided to watch a movie. and we watched memoirs of a geisha.
IT'S UBER GOOD. IM GOING TO BUY THE BOOK AND READ IT!
I LOVE BOOKS! THEY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM IN ANOTHER WORLD!
THEY MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY AND OCCUPIED! THEY ARE MY BOYFRIENDS!
yup. okay. so yea, had to go home after that.
when i got home and went out for dinner with my family,
i started thinking about some shit lah and felt damn pissed about it!
but lucky i still have bryan to complain to. so i feel ten times better.
AND IM FINE PEOPLE. THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.
so dont ask me anymore! yup. that's it... BYE.
AND SOMEDAY, EVERYTHING WILL BE MORE THAN ROSY. I PRAY.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
i guess it's time i stopped talking in riddles, songs and being indirect about what's been said here or whatsoever. it's true bryan and i are no longer together. it's true that i feel fucked up about it and no not okay about it. however, i am okay. when we face these sudden shocks, heartaches or whatsoever, it's only normal to think we're alone and that nobody in this "fucked up" place understands us. and though i talked to a hell lot of people, only when i came to talk to ceecee, the healing started. i know im not over bryan. i know i cannot get over bryan, not tmr or next week, or next month, maybe not even next year. but i do know is that i can help myself and i have someone who went what i went through. it's amazing how i can be in my room crying my eyes out for over an hour and then going online and just talking to one person could change it all. but dont get me wrong, i still cannot say im happy, i cannot say i feel okay about it all. but instead i have accepted it, i have spewed out everything i felt and have someone to understand me and have someone who gave me good advice. cause there's no point in telling someone "you deserve better, so just move on cause he's not worth a drop of your tears." cause when you love someone, you accept every part of him/her. even when they hurt you, it wont sway your love for them, and whether it's two months or two and a half years, the feelings attained for the one person can be as strong. time here, is redundant. i believe God has a plan. whether it is what i want now or the total opposite, i know it's going to be what i needed all along. and knowing this, i have heldfast to hope and faith. i dont care if i have to wait for this year's olevels to end, i dont care if i had to re-do my olevels twice or thrice, i dont care if God put me to do some stupid course on machinery instead of design, i dont care if i dont get my street vision wear shoes, i dont care if i dont get a single cent this chinese new year, i dont care if my band wants to kick me out, i dont care if my brother wanted to make me feel miserable everyday of my life and i dont care if russell or any other shit head is sitting in front of his computer and laughing at me and saying how i deserve this, while reading this. cause i've got a reason to keep my head up and let the positive vibes flow through my veins. i know deep inside all is not lost and that when God closes a door, he opens another window. He makes life the way it is, but it's up to us how we want to live. thank God for free will, baby! okay, im being super holy and shit. but for the first time since we broke up, i feel like i dont even need to explain my heart out to bryan again and that i can let things rest for a long time. it's true that the hurt and paranoia will catch up to me again sooner or later. in fact, it kinda did grasp me as i entered my home's "make out" room (that's what ally and donn call it. haha. inside joke.), well, i know we have shared a small amount of memories in that room, BUT MOSTLY WITH THE BAND, and i have never made out in that room before. SO YEAAAAA. anyway, yes, i had to go up to put something there with my lap top and looking at the place with everything as it is, the bass, the amp, the tuner which bryan didnt need anymore, the lousy mould-coloured sofas, memories just came back. seriously, i got out of the room as fast as i could. and yea lah, i did another crybaby in my room. yup. but then i remembered to think of things only as objects, no memories, no sentiments, just everyday things and i felt good enough to fall asleep. so considering i can sit here in front of my com and being sooo open with my feelings for the first time in my life, im quite alright with the arrangement of things in my life now and i remind myself it's only temporary.
and i guess you could say, in all my life, i love bryan the mostestestestestest.
so here i would like to name and thank the people who helped me out or stuck by me during this shitty period. (not in any order whatsoever)
CHRISTOPHER ETHAN CHAI/ceecee the bass guru!
the first person who understood how i felt completely after having that breakup with bird. the person who gave me the best advice and didnt tell me to simply to move on but took effort to tell me this and that. the person who made me realise there's hope and helped me to stay on the ground. the person who reminded me God has something ahead for me and that He has every reason to do what he did to my life. the person who showed me that it's okay to cry, it's okay to hurt, and it's not anyone's fault bad things happen. the person who inspired me to type this longass entry.
DONNA-MAE THERESE/bahht poker!
the person who held onto the phone and just listened to me cry for two hours, though i hardly said anything at all. thank you for accepting me every way that i am, truly. my best friend.
ALLISON MARIE LOW SHUFEN/ally!
the person who always has faith. the person who demonstrated what it is to have faith. the other person who can accept me the way i am. my supposed soul twin.
NORAZIEMAH ZAINAL/malay!
thank you for listening to me whenever bryan and i argued. thank you for the gazillion smiles and hours of laughter with your stupid shitass jokes and expressions! OMG! thinking about it now make me smile now. hahahaha. like whoohoo man! whoohoo!
NIGEL LEE ZHEN YANG/nigelly the biggest rockstar that's my best friend!
i dont even know if that's your real chinese name but it's your msn nick lah. so it's a wild guess. anyway! thank you for talking to me and that night. my bill is gonna be high now that i called aussie, but i miss your cheerfulness, though you do get down and stuff, you never fail to be positive. thank you for being that way.
NADIA NG/naddy!
haha. you actually answered my call at like 4 plus in the morning. wtf. you're mad. but thanks. cause you're the next person who's also knows bryan and his ways. so you do understand what im going thru. and i cant believe you didnt tell me that he hates the phrase 'whatever floats your boat' till yesterday lah! oh well. im never using that again!
MAJELLA TEN NIAN XIANG/marjieeeee!
thank you for at least trying to wake up to answer my call. haha. you failed at doing so, but it's okay. you intended to! haha. and i did call you at like 5am, so umm. yea. ahhahaha. well, thanks for inviting me to spend the day with you, natliew and roshali at orchard parade hotel. i always have fun with you andddd i get to use your camera which is good so it makes me happy. oh yea, my camera was dropped in soup by someone so umm... it's not working right. ugh. but thanks for talking to me at like 8am. i cant believe you wake up so early. and kittens will make me happy!
SYLVESTER SINGH/slyflyshyboy twin!
thanks for wanting to be helpful and shit though i didnt want any whatsoever, but nonetheless effort recognised. thanks for putting hope in me. thanks for being psychic. hahaha. i am counting on your prediction!
LEON LEE QUAN CHANG/leon!
i dont know how to spell your chinese name! but at least i remembered it. well, sorta. haha. thanks for the silly fallout boy videos! they really cheered me up and i also could use it to cheer someone else up with it. and thanks for showing me what reality is.
NICHOLAS LIONG LAN JUN/neek!, ASHLEY SENT-DOUX/ashes!, PAUL TWOHILL/stinky armpit juice!
thank you for listening and stuff. thanks for being so caring always. damn wankers! hahahahahahahaha. but thanks lah, for wanting to help me out always.
ALEXANDER JEN/xael!
stop being so i-hate-the-world! anyway, thanks for listening to me and not going... "i told you so!". and thanks for not being one helluva big mouth.
ANDY LIM MOH KHENG/dee!
it's been a while since we had a proper conversation. and thanks for actually messaging me after donn told you what happened. thanks for trying to cheer me up last night too.
AVERY WONG/monkey!, NICHOLAS BRIAN JAMES BONG!/leeettle neeekiee!, CHRISTOPHER ASHLEY HENRICKS/christhephlephle!, LESLIE PHUA LIANG KAI/leslio!
thank you all for being concerned. i dont think all of you would read this. but thanks anyway.
CLAIRE ALEXIS CHUA WEI SHI/clairey!
sorry i never did call back, but thanks for wanting me to. and thanks for being the first few to accept whatever i told you before.
HENRIETTA ASVIRATHAM!/hetts!, NICOLE LIM/nikki!
thank you both for being there last night when i needed to cry on a shoulder, literally. esp nicole. and hetts for always being concerned about me up till now.
PHRAVODHINI DEVANDHRAN/dhini!
okay. i dont even think i spelt your name right at all. sorry! but thanks for picking up my call at 5am and listening during your precious sleep time though you had to wake up for school in half an hour.
IAN ROZARIO/ianpian!
im not nattoddler! haha. anyway, thanks for the support when bryan and i started out and shit. thanks for the prayers and for having my back though we've never met before. but thanks for being like there always.
NATASHA LIEW HUI LING/nattypokai!
thanks for being such a joker and all when i needed a laugh. haha. and i know you like beefcake guys in mini swimming trunks.
LEON WAN/leon with the cute voice!
thanks for calling me like everyday. and for making me promise i'll cheer up and not worry about stuff. and making me laugh with your lame jokes. i dont think you'll read this, but gratitude expressed anyway.
KENNETH TAY KIAN ANN/ah kian!
i never thought you'd bother to come read my blog and see what's going on in my life. but thanks for doing so and coming to ask if i was okay.
LOW JIA YAN/robbie!
i hardly know you and i hardly make any effort to. but thanks for making the effort to know me and be my friend always.
NICHOLAS JENS/pantat!
thanks for walking me home though i protested and shit. but at least you and sly bothered to see i was safely sent home. and dont worry about my camera lah, thanks for wanting to pay for it though. but it was an accident, it's okay.
okay. that's the end of my super long entry. i think it makes the longest one i've written so far. i dont know what's with the full names. hahahaha. and i thank God for every one mentioned here. if i forgot you, well, im really sorry, but i dont think i missed anyone out. well, umm... okay, i have one last person to thank. it's going to be weird. but im just gonna do it anyway.
BRYAN JEREMIAH EE/jingle!
you already know what i want deep inside cause i've already messaged you a few million times to tell you so, so this is a little different. thank you for the past few months. you've been my best friend and boyfriend. im still a little shocked this all had to happen. but thank you for still talking to me though what i mainly talk about is random rubbish. thank you for the times i got pissed drunk and taking me home safely. thank you for the meals we had together, i've never ate so regularly when im with you. thank you for not forgetting all that we've been through. i know you think it's unfair for me to always see you busy and shit, though i dont think this is the best solution, i thank you for wishing me better. i still feel the same for you, and i know you still care. i can only wait and see what's next for us. but i only hope we'd still share laughs with your retarded antics. but one thing i dont get. you once told me while i was facing some shit before we started liking each other, "studies and other commitments dont make a big difference to one's relationship with another, as long as you want to have it, you can make it happen whether or not you have to make other commitments. i think it's a stupid reason to say you dont want a relationship." i know i didnt quote hundred percent correct, but i know you said it's stupid and i know you said you can do it if you wanted to. so tell me, why do you contradict yourself and run now? if there's some problem you dont like about me (e.g. im too demanding/controlling/childish/etc.), please do tell me, if not i'd be waiting for mountains to turn to sand. so take care of yourself for now, as you have taken care of me.
wow. i took an hour to type this out. and i must say, there are so many songs that describe how i feel now.but make sure you listen to...
from autumn to ashes
a change of pace
scary kids scaring kids
funeral for a friend
and one last note before i end...
archers at your archers
raise your fingers for a last salute
and i'll bleed the skyline dry
your history is mine
history- funeral for a friend.
i have been awake for over 24 hours now.
i have not eaten any solid food.
my oxyen has been cut off.
waking up from this nightmare.
how's your life?
what's it like there?
is it all what you want it to be?
does it hurt when you think about me
and how broken my heart is?
Friday, January 13, 2006
With the flash, the moments gone
I gave up all I had for
Something that never brought me any comfort now
I've been lost too long
Tonight, but I am alone
I've always hate this place
I never thought it end this way
Tonight, but I am alone
Another nameless face
Tonight, but I am alone
I've always hate this place
I never thought it end this way
Tonight, but I am alone
Please don't forget my name
Tonight, but I am alone
Empty pages on the end
I can't move on
The words I never said were wrong
I never needed to feel connected
And now I'm only loved by empty glasses
Its gone on too longI need to find a way to just move on
Tonight, but I am alone
I've always hate this place
I never thought it end this way
Tonight, but I am alone
Another nameless face
Tonight, but I am alone
I've always hate this place
I never thought it end this way
Tonight, but I am alone
Please don't forget my name
Tonight, but I am alone
I'm tired of you wishing me the best
It's a long ride home
Tonight, but I am alone
I've always hate this place
I never thought it end this way
Tonight, but I am alone
Another nameless face
Tonight, but I am alone
I've always hate this place
I never thought it end this way
Tonight, but I am alone
Please don't forget my name
Tonight, but I am alone
empty glasses- scary kids scaring kids.
this is to you. i dont expect you to read this. but it's what describes what i have to say best now. and i just hope that someday we could try again. please dont look away. this is my final attempt to get to you and let you know that i know nothing now that everythings in this place.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
begging to strike, begging to strike.
she keeps on asking me "do you think it's hurts to die?"
it's hurting so much just to stay alive now.
you know, those feelings are back on me again.
but i think, this has got to be the hardest i could ever taken.
the images and thoughts that rush through your brain in suspense.
the mixed feelings of frustration and anxiety etched all over your vision.
desperation overcomes you, like being swallowed fast into quicksand.
you try all you can to reach that rope hanging in front of you,
but of course, you slip and fall back into the depths of sand and water.
it fills your mouth, enters your nostrils and then your lungs as you cry one last time for help.
you taste the sand as it spreads itself over your tongue,
it's then you realise,
this is the end of everything.
on your machine i slur a plea for you to come home.
goodbye.
Monday, January 09, 2006
she's extremely picky when it comes to choosing tee shirts. HAHA.
oh, and YES, i enjoyed THE TWEAT she got me. thanks once again. hahaha!
and i think i really need to do something like take millions of photographs.
not just any photograph, but art photographs.
landscape, emotive, portraits, artistic nude, wildlife, architectural, miscellaneous, etc.
YES. I NEED TO TAKE PHOTOS TO FILL THE EMPTY ART STUDIO IN MY LIFE.
and i want to take more monochromic shots or stuff in sepia,
just to try out something new, instead of trying to capture vibrance all the time.
yup. for the record im one person you wont imagine trying to take photos of happy stuff.
but apparently i do. HAHA. hmm. right.
OKAYYY. so i will find myself a buddy to do this with.
ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE A NEW CAMERA TO USEEE.
havent tried it out yet, but wowza!
and i kinda need a job still, apparently i WILL get the job at chijmes.
gawwd, i do hope so.
okay, that's all for now. BYE.
sometimes i wish i could type anyfuckingthing here without being judged.
sometimes i wish i could understand myself; my emotional constipation.
sometimes i wish i didnt have to remember all the unnecessary.
sometimes i wish i meant it when i said "i forgot".
sometimes i wish i could end my ordeals.
sometimes i wish i could talk to my parents without getting a lecture.
sometimes i wish i didnt have to be afraid of my own father.
sometimes i wish God would help me out immediately during my darkest hours.
sometimes i wish i had more faith than this.
sometimes i wish i could quit habits by just wanting to.
sometimes i wish i lived without regrets.
sometimes i wish i was perfect in everyway.
sometimes i wish i was happy with everything that i am and everything that i have.
so once again, i'll humble myself to reciting the serenity prayer.
which im sure many will find meaning to.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as i would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if i surrender to His will.
That i may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.
*the Serenity Prayer- Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr
Sunday, January 08, 2006
it's like i have no mood whatsoever to do anything anymore.
i think he's right.
but my dreams they aren't as empty,
as my conscience seems to be.
God, forgive me, please.
hello. honestly my com is pissing me off. ugh.
anyway, today was a good day. i quite liked it.
though im having some sort of paranoia blablabla over smth. ugh.
well, time will tell i guess, and i only hope it doesnt seem like what i think.
OKAY. anyway, i shall be all boring and talk about what i did today.
or more like yesterday, 7th jan 06.
went for novena with bryan as usual. had to drag myself out of bed cause i was so tired and i ignored my alarm like three times. haha. then i realised that i had to check if bryan was awake, amazingly, he was awake alrdy! wowzaaa. hahahaha. well, i thought i was gonna be late cause i took my time and stuff but i was actually very much on time. on bryan was late AS USUAL. ANYWAY... yes, for some weird reason he decided to tell me he was taking the mrt down, but he actually took the bus, and popped out of nowhere at the mrt station proclaiming he took the bus instead of the mrt. like okayyy, why cant you be honest with small things like that anyway? oh well, i dont understand why he's so silly. yup. okay, after novena we saw nora and gen, NORA, if you read this... LIKE WHOOHOO MAN! WHOOHOO! haha, ANYWAY, we couldnt decide on where to eat as usual and ended up going to united square to that katong laksa place for lunch. the lime juice there is way too sour, thus, it sucksdick. oh, and bryan was being a real retard. he and his spastic hand movements and weird faces. hahahahhahahaa. i find it fucking funny, but it's super retarded. after that i had to go to the toilet and bryan watched some chinese acrobats performing in the shopping centre while i was in the toilet. he thinks that it was really coooool. HAHAHAHAHA. okay. umm... then after awhile i went to cine to meet sher and the others to celebrate sher's 17th birthday (happy birthday again, sher!) and kill some time before i went to risen christ for mass. bryan had to go to church for some meeting, so yea. went to heeren after sher and the rest had lunch at pastamania, as sher wanted to buy converse shoes. she bought the grey ones with pink threading after contemplating on another pair of shoes that were black and had cool stripey colours on the insides. pretty redundant, unless there are people like me who would stare at your shoes a lot, but i thought it was nice anyway. so after that we all parted and i decided to go home since i had about two hours more of doing nothing. yes, i went home to sleep. hahaha. was listening to from autumn to ashes half way and i fell asleep, i seriously think they're good stuff and i love the song chloroform perfume! okay, anyway, took a train down to toa payoh and bumped into averymonkey, kenneth and joey in the train. JOEY, if you're reading this... ARE YOU SCARED OF ME THAT'S WHY YOU NEVER SAY HI TO ME IN PERSON UNTIL I CATCH YOUR ATTENTION/MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU? hahahaha. okay, met bryan outside the macs there and there was like some annoying chinese dance thingums going on outside the library, and i was like... eh, you really like these weird chinese dances things ah? HAHAHHAA. and sat outside the parish office waiting for more of bryan's friendzies to come. but they were damn late lah. and bryan says being on time for mass is early (?!). hahahaha. well, mr perpetually late ee is like that lah. oh and just as we set foot on the stairs that lead to the main church, bryan suddenly needed to piss. like okayyy. hahaha. so yea. went one round again. during mass he was being damn fidgety and talkative. actually he and all his friends are. omg, sara had to semi-shout GO AWAY suddenly cause some guy was making fun of her or smth. and bryan wanted to exchange jackets so that he could wear my silly giordano one for awhile. hahahahaha. and i dont remember what else he was doing or what during mass, but i had to keep asking him to pay attention. okay, then i went home by train and he walked me to the mrt and went for dinner with his friends after that. yup. and now im sitting here with my irritating computer and also trying to not think about what might be wrong with me. umm yea. okay. but overall, if i didnt keep thinking about my paranoia, everything was good. cause bryan is a real idiot and i love him for being himself and being all spastic. oh yea, i have a video of him doing smth uber funny! HAHAHAHAHAHA. okay, im not showing it to anymore people anymore cause he's a bit embarrassed. hahahhahaha.
but can i just say that im just damn proud of bryan, cause he has hardly smoked the whole of today and yesterday. he doesnt even carry his lighter anymore cause he's not gonna buy a pack. WOW. but he did take a few drags here and there lah. and he thinks he'll get sick soon. oh well.
OHOHOH! MY MAID IS COMING HOME TONIGHT! as in 8th jan evening! HAHAHA!
oh... and HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY DONN! i love you! she's bloody legal now. sheesh.
okay, bye!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
kids will be waking up to the buzz of their alarm clocks
or the smacks of impatient parents.
well, honestly, i cant believe im going to be seventeen this year.like oh my gawwd man, ohh myy gawwwdd!
LIKE HELLO! I JUST TURNED SIXTEEN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AGO!
time is passing wayyy to fast please.
i cant believe i have no more secondary school.
OH MY GAWWWD.
in a way im happy, but im kinda bummed that i have to grow up so soon.
it's not like i enjoy being a girl in school uniform everyday,
but hey, i dont wanna do big things yet.
ugh. it's always about money isnt it?
FUCK MONEY.
but then again, if i didnt have cash,
i wouldnt be able to acquire my STREET VISION WEAR SHOES.
ohh myyy gawwwwwwwwd.
orgas. orgas. orrrgasssssssssss.
it's like... 'vans? what are vans shoes?' when you see street vision wear.
hahahahahahahahhaaha.
at least i have an interview this thurs.
it kinda looks... promising though i think i'd be dead tired by it.
or maybe levi's would call me back... soon. ugh. i hope.
im so desperate to get a job that i'd even work on public holidays.
well, it's an advantage, cause it means i dont have to see my happy family all day.
right. anyway... what was i talking about? OH YEA.
everyone is starting schoooool and im going to be all alone
cause i refuse to go to a jc or whatever institute for three months.
im not applicable anyway. HAHAHAHAHA.
so yea. now you know my inteligence level. very high WORXZZZZZZ.
WTF. HAHA. i think im uber bored lah. so i get all looney.
okay, yes, people like bryan will be at school for half a day (or even more).
so that leaves me with nothing to do a lot.
lalalalalala. stupid new year! IM NOT PREPARED, DAMMIT.
TIME AND TIDE WAITS FOR NO MAN, LAH. UGH.
speaking of which, i actually helped majo do her artpiece on that theme.
i think it came out quite well. HAHA. right. like whoohoo!
so so so so so so......... I DONT KNOWWWW.
NEH NEHNEH NEH NEHNEH!
i am a piece of shit ladeedumm.
OHHHHHH! AND TMR, NADDY AND I ARE GOING FOR COFFEE AT STARFUCKS.
oh, i meannnn... STARBUCKSSS. YAY. COFFEEE.
AND GOSSIP! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
OKAY, I ADMIT IT. I ENJOY LISTENING TO STORIES OR MORE LIKE SCANDALS.
BUT WHO DOESNT LAH K?
donchhh preetenddd you hypocriteee. HAHA. right.
im actually excited cause i havent talked to her in quite awhile
and i havent hung out with many of my friends.
sadly, bryan has been my only friend, thus im very bored.
cause bryan has manymanymany friends to go out with.
or maybe it's just a particular group. oh well, like fuckitmann.
SO YEA. i have a going out friend AND SHE'S A GIRL. WOW.
FROM MY SCHOOL. YAY.
the trouble with people with boyfriends is that they spend tooo much time with their boyfriends,
and the people without the boyfriends think that the people with boyfriends always are with the boyfriends.
maybe, it's a minority that spend tooo much time with their boyfriends,
but HELL NO, it's not me. like HELLO?!?!?!?!
okay, i better stop this mindless verbal fucking.
cause i bet you just didnt get what i typed out. right?
so i guess while everyone's in school.
i'll be asleep, then when everyone's doing homework,
i'll be out with nadia. YAY. sounds like a good plannnnn.
OHOHOH! AND WE'RE FINALLY GOING JAMMING AFTER LIKE THREE WEEKS!
oh yipeedoodaaaaa. I HAVE A PURPOSE FOR MY BASS!
actually, it's cc's but im buying it from him after i get a friggin job lah.
SO YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. like whoohoo!
NORA, i hope you read this entry... cause i dedicate this part to you...
like WHOOHOO MAN! WHOOHOO!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA
please dont hate me. hahahahhahhahahahaha.
but it was YOU who got me into saying "like whoohoo!"
it cracks me up. so yeaaaaaaaaa. hahahahhhaah. im nevaaaaaa stopping!
i will help you get mr. i-am-so-good-looking's name for you. i will! i will!
HAHAHAHHAHAHA. and he's not even good looking, please! ugh.
but thanks for calling me and shit. i always have fun with you around.
hahahahhaha. SO, the next message you see on my blog is for the PUBLIC!NOT LIKE NOBODY'S BUT YOU IS READING THIS ANYWAY. HAHA!
TO THE PUBLIC:
nora thinks the "blonde" matt who works at FAR EAST PLAZA'S SPONGE is HAWWT (dont get me wrong, i dont think he's hawwwwt or whatsoever at all, it's nora who thinks so!). so... IF YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW HIM. FEEL FREE TO TELL ME OR NORA WHAT'S HIS NAME. cause nora has been in denial of his true self and proclaiming he is mr. "i-am-so-good-looking". please help, cause currently, she's crushing on a younger guy. LIKE OOHWHEE MAN! yup, he's not very tall nor good looking, so it might be a little tricky to spot him though he's been at sponge for like the rest of his life. HAHAHAHAHAHA. okay, i bid you a good dayza!
HAHAHAHA. BYE!
sorry for any bad english or typos. after all, it's almost 4 in the fucking morning!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
so, for this entry, it's gonna be quite long and reflective.
and it might be painfully honest too.
so just accept what you read and shut up,
cause this was my 2005...
ACTUALLY. no. im lazy. HAHA.
so i will make new years resolutions AND stick to them.
although last year i said i'd stop making them.
be neater.
be more responsible.
buy my shoesss.
practice my bass everyday.
control my damn emotions/feelings.
get a job.
get into vsc somehow.
OKAY. i have no idea what else i should try doing this year.
and im tired. kaput.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
sweelee sale is good shitttttttttttttttttttttttt.
thank you mom and dad for the xmas presentttttttttts!
hahahahaahhahahahaaahahahaa.
YES. anyway. i need a job. ugh.
okay. that's all. i dont wanna say more,
cause i'll start feeling all grumpy again.
okay, BYE.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
nigel, are you happy that im updating now? haha.
and only nigel knows why im happy. yesyes.
well all i really have to say is bryan is the best boyfriend i ever had.
haha. really! cliche, but the gospel truth lah k.
now you ninnies can go 'awww... so sweet!'
like... SHUT UP! hahahaha.
so umm... i decided to put the most recent photo that we took up.
just to say i appreciate him in every way. :D
taken on christmas. (:
AND while im in this weirdass loveydovey mood. here are some great graphics from deviantart.
photo credit: http://rubenslp.deviantart.com
photo credit: http://dronio.deviantart.com
oh yes, and the christmas photos are up alrdy in PHOTOS2. yup!
blessed xmas everyone! and have a merry new year! hahaha.
and tmr's the early new year's bbq at the chais' place. yay! FOOD. hahahaha.
so MORE photos will be up. cause nowadays i rather post photos than typetypetype.
and also cause nigel has encouraged me to do so. haha.
okay, bye!
NIGEL, i hope you've had FUN reading this. hahahaha. CHEAP THRILL. miss you!
Monday, December 26, 2005
"yes, mom, i'll help you do something."
went from fosting twigs to going all the way to ritz carlton hotel
and setting up some wedding cake! bahh.
next time if you were to a favour, remember to ask WHAT favour it is first.
anyway, some pics i took while on my way there and during the process.
the box of bloody twigs i had to frost. and that's the can of frost.
it's the mother and the cake. she's kinda rushing and all at this point.
stefii's blooms and crafts. COME HERE TO BUY YOUR FLOWERS AND DO YOUR WEDDINGS!
some roses i was made to carry.
mom and the annoying malay woman walking into the ballroom.
people setting the ballroom up, including mommy dearest. HAHA. the table cloth is cool!
more busy little peoples.
ooh. im in the kitchen! behind the sceneees. hahaha.
those weird sqaurey things are actually the wedding cake(s). oooh, look at the many black peoples! hahahaha.
the cake! incompleted though. haha.
ta daaaangg! the cake, still incompleted but from a different perpective. HAHA.
the tables with the pretty table cloth. oh, all flowers seen are done by my mom's company.
and finally, that's mom and the annoying malay woman setting up the water fountain.
okay, why do i call that malay woman annoying?
well, cause she thinks i should help my mom in the shop more.
ugh. no way! just cause im a girl doesnt mean i looovee flowers.
OH. and FROSTING TWIGS, will one day make me a business woman!
that's what she said yea.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. so stupid!!!!!!! okay, that's all for now.
nigel, i hope you enjoyed reading this post with all the pictures! (:
we miss you!
Saturday, December 24, 2005
xmas this yr is gonna be quite crappy.
i dont feel spiritually nor physically/materialistically ready.
ugh. im so confused and messed up.
why didnt i plan? WHY AM I SO CARELESS THIS TIME?
stupid me.
i will not leave things nor change anything at the last minute anymore.
and will stop being so blind. not that it even matters anymore.
I PROMISE.
well, happy christmas everyone.
i hope you're far better off un/wrapping presents than i am.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
so check PHOTOS2 in a matter of minutes, and they'll be up.
i've nothing to say now. sorry.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
and the photos are up already.
however, the only band featured is mathilda's potrait on special request by spencer tay.
but my stupid camera battery had to fail me. so i only took their band.
so the question is... does anyone wanna donate a new digicam to me?
CHRISTMAS IS IN A WEEK!
yup. that's all for now.
oh and dont forget to see my deviantart account. new stuff is up.
and photos are posted on photos2.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
anyway, here are photos instead of words to summarize. enjoy.
bryan and i, on our way to habour front in the mrt.
just dont ask me why he likes making all these funny faces. haha.
sara and i. i learnt she can be extremely weird. hahaha.
siloso beach. the weather was great. we went there cause grace wanted to see someone. HAHA!
i got bored cause everyone was tanning and sleeping.
hello, what are we doing here miss teo and miss yeow?
bryan is disgusted by my "cool" hair here. just look as his "happy" face. hahaha.
grace, trina and gabriel. if you imagine gabriel without the shadow sheltering him, it looks quite funny seeing him sleeping in the middle of nowhere. hahahaha.
our little shelter that everyone is squeezing under.
when i left to shower, vain boys, ashley and peter took over.
we're all clean. but bryan's still wearing the same shirt.
hey ho, lets go!
a rainbow to end a perfect day.
bryan and i on the bus back. you see, he never has a decent look on his face. hahaha.
more photos are uploaded in PHOTOS2! go seeee.
oh yes, and when nora comes online, i swear, she brightens my day by millionswith her crap. HAHAHA. take a look at this.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
OHHH.
i am a computer geek says:
hahaha
i am a computer geek says:
yes
i am a computer geek says:
noraziemah
i am a computer geek says:
hahahhha
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
hahahaha.fucking minah lah you
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
i got like an interview for like some TEEVO thing.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
shut upp.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha.
i am a computer geek says:
what teevo?
i am a computer geek says:
hahahhaha
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
teeveee la babe!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
hahaha.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
BUTTTT, IT'S ON SATURDAY & I CAN'T MAKE IT ON SATURDAY!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
blahhh.
i am a computer geek says:
stupid
i am a computer geek says:
what you supp to do?
i am a computer geek says:
do a dance?
i am a computer geek says:
or act for them?
i am a computer geek says:
hahahhahahahahha
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
host a show.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
host/act.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
SHUTUP.
i am a computer geek says:
a MALAY SHOW
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
eet's a malay sshow.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
HAHAHHAHA.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHA
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
WHO CARES LAHH!
i am a computer geek says:
HAHA. MINAH!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
AT LEAST I'M ON TEEVOOO.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
i am a computer geek says:
teevooo. so minah.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
I BEING ON TEEVO AHH.
i am a computer geek says:
oh gawwd.
i am a computer geek says:
you gonna crack screens and create the biggest comedy ever in minah/mat history.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHAHAHA
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
i'm going to take that as a compliment.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
hahahaha.
i am a computer geek says:
(say this in a cheena voice) eU sO sTuPidZ oNeZx. lYk ThAt aLsO Eu HaPpIeX. MeEnaH aRhx.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
siallll ah youu.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
youu waittt.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
i come there, then you know.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
i bring my gang, my geetarrrrr.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
you waitttt!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
(okay, all this sounds better when i say it in malay meeenah language. haha.)
i am a computer geek says:
i AsK mOii Ah LiAnZ dEr PeeNkoZ tO coMe aNd wHaCk YoU AhXx!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
(*peenkoz?)
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha.
i am a computer geek says:
wE PaRa PaRa OnX YoUr mAlAy cHeEbaIx tHeN eU kNowZ aH!
i am a computer geek says:
hahahhahaha. (pinko) ah lians like pink. and all stupid things.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
(you're kinda scaring me.)
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha!
i am a computer geek says:
i Ah LiAn WoRzX
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
holyfuck.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
hahahaha.
i am a computer geek says:
haha
i am a computer geek says:
now your lets-rush-for-my-malay-lessons will pay off.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHAHHAAAHHA
i am a computer geek says:
or more like...
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha, at least i'm putting it to good use!
i am a computer geek says:
now your lets-rush-for-my-malay-lessons-SO-I-CAN-SUCK-UP-TO-THE-TEACHER will pay off.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
for all you know, someone would see me & make me FAMOUS.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
: D
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha, shut upp.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
IT WILL OKAY.
i am a computer geek says:
or look extremely stupid.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHA
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
EXCUSE YOU.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
HURRR.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
hahahaha.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
BUT I WILL HAVE TO LOSE LIKE A MILLION KG!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
COS
i am a computer geek says:
haha.
i am a computer geek says:
yea
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
THE CAMERA ADDS ANOTHER TEN KG.
i am a computer geek says:
and your mom and relatives will lovee you.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
& I DONT NEED THAT.
i am a computer geek says:
hahahaha
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
obviouslyyyy/
i am a computer geek says:
yea
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
THE FAMOUS ONE.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha.
i am a computer geek says:
and you can demonstrate your talents at their house parties by singing karaoke in MALAY or just talking non stop in MALAY for FREE
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHAHAH
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
HOLYHOLY.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
I HAVE TO SPEAK IN MALAY.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
I THOUGHT I WOULD BE READING OFF THOSE CARD THINGUMS!
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
HOLYHOLYHOLY.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
haha.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
shitttttt.
i am a computer geek says:
AND THEN! maybe one day, they might ask your beautiful malay voice to be the spokesperson for CHICKEN LITTLE. since it's your fave movie AND you support it sooo greatly until chicken little becomes a large enterprise.
i am a computer geek says:
HAHAHAHA
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
i think you're insulting me.
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
HAHAHHAHAHA.
i am a computer geek says:
no shit, sherlock.
i am a computer geek says:
haha
NORAAAZIEEMAHHHH says:
OH WHATEVERRRRR.
oh! oh! and she calls money, MOOLAH. WTF, NORA?! HAHAHAHAHA.
is being spastic contagious or what? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
if it is, im now ten times more spaz after talking to nora.
oh, and sorry about the racism, but it's not like im not making fun of my own race.
hahaha!
bye!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
so... it's natliew's birthday today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAT!
yup. and i got out of bed at 5pm this afternoon.
it's what happens when you dont sleep early. ugh.
and im going to have problems sleeping tonight too.
phooey.
had dinner with bryan just now.
he has that conjuncblabla thingum, so his eyes burn.
i hate seeing him like this ):
it's somewhat painful and yet i cant do shit about it.
we're going sentosa in the morning!
till late afternoon (i guess). yayy.
just may it NOT rain. i HATE the rain.
haha. okay. im bored. like seriouslyyy. AH.
my stupid msn is down, bloody shit computer.
so im not talking to anyone. at least i have music. yayy.
okay, now im worried that i cant wake up in the morning
and i think bryan's worried he cant wake up too.
oh, my maid went home for holiday this afternoon while i was still asleep.
so i didnt get to say bye to her.
and worst of all, she'll be away for a month or moer.
means... i'll have to be all self relient and help do chores.
yes, im a bum. and i like doing nothing for myself. hahahahaha.
I NEED A JOB SO THAT I CAN STAY OUT OF THE HOUSE.
hahahaha. yup. okay. naddy's helping me get a job at chijmes (:
i HOPE i get it. though i have to wear orange. ugh.
yeaaa. now im off to venture some, hopefully, interesting site.
oh yea, and natliew showed me this site the other day.
it's some gay guy's blog. and i think he's a fucking evil fag.
cause he wears furs and all that shit.
i hate people who hurt animals, esp for the sake of "beauty".
he has two brutal pictures of dead foxes, and he says he enjoys them.
sickfuck. just look and read for yourselves.
http://bryanboy.com
i hope he burns in hell.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
it's either the stupid panadol extras
or i ate too much shit this late and drank pepsi.
ho gawwd.
it's already five past three am. greaaat.
i didnt sleep the whole night last night
cause i was all sick and took a long long nap during the day.
so i was up allll night and i fell asleep at nine this morning.
HAHA.
well, bryan came over today to visit.
cause my mom is like all you-cant-go-out-cause-you're-recovering.
but my fever went down by the millions.
okay, so im exaggerating by a a few million degrees,
btu anyway, yes! im alive and kicking.
so yea, he came over and had a longgg talk and practiced the songs all.
nora's been sick too and we talked till three yesterday. haha.
i think she managed to doze off, unlike me.
today is tuesday, it's the 13th. wow.
it's my first month with bryan. that's uber fast.
haha. i love you, bryan.
tmr we're going sentosaaa with some other peoples.
yup. okay. i think i'll go crash now.
good night!
and compared to last week, i like this week ten times more alrdy.
though it has just started only. yay!
Monday, December 12, 2005
courtesy of stacey, for the coolest graduates in ijtp'05. HAHA.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I REMEMBER WAITING FOR YOU TO CALLI REMEMBER WAITING FOR YOU TO COMEI REMEMBER WAITING TO FIND NOTHING AT ALL
hi. i would like to say,
screw the whole wide fucking dick world.
i am unhappy, and this is how great it gets! yay.
today i went for confirmation mass with majo, aileen, bird, cc, neek, ashes and john.
and during the mass, cc told me a very enlightening story,
about how his bestfriend wants to kill himself and almost did before cc stopped him.
his future ambition is to get a motorbike, and ride it off a building.
i think that's really sweet.
he's looking for a passenger, cause he doesnt wanna die alone.
maybe, my future ambition could be to sit behind him on that bike as he takes flight
only to crash and burn.
i find no more meaning in life,
cause one day, we're all gonna die and rot in purgatory anyway.
good night and good bye.
if you breathe deeply through this gas pipe, i promise we'll wake up somewhere new.
I HAVE A HOLE, IN THIS HOLE IS WHERE MY HEART SHOULD'VE BEEN.
Friday, December 09, 2005
i am NOT having a good week. uh uh. im NOT.
you know when i said i thought i was happy yesterday?
well, I WASNT. or it only lasted like...an hour.
im having a crappy week and i dont know why.
i havent found a bloody job yet and im too pissed and tired to search anymore.
and i dont know why people think it's so fun to come talk to me online and ask me dumb questions and shit and make me repeat myself a 394872347 times.
did i mention i hate this stupid com?
cause i dont know why my bloody fonts and all are sooo huge.
IM NOT BLIND. and i cant find the damn thing to change the font size.
ugh. im annoyeddddd. im annoyedddd.
and im not even getting my vans shoes soon cause they bloody dont have nice ones. and im always so bored at home but i dont have a bloody JOB.
i need to do something.
and i fucking hate interviews. i HATE interviews. esp temasek poly interviews cause i still have to go dunno where to apply for the course.
im so tireddd.
and it's so hard to find people to eat sushi with me.
WHY?!
dhswkrhjv ewirrviwqpqdkfj ejpwoeihc w iwurqr3q974jvqkpqoweu
AHH!!!!!!!
and i have a secret. it's so annoying. i hate my secret. but it's so dumb that i dont wanna tell anyone.
I GIVE UP. I GIVE UP!
and i hate playing asleep at the wheel on bass.
it's so frickenn difficult and i dont have a bloody amp.
DONATE PLEASE! DONATE A BASS! DONATE AN AMP! DONATE A CABLE! DONATE A STRAP! YES. i have GOOD QUALITY picks from davis guitars. SO I DONT NEED ANY PICKS FROM ANYONE.
DONATE A CAMERA. MANUAL OR DIGITAL DOESNT MATTER.
AS LONG AS IT'S MORE THAN 4MEGAPIXELS PLEASE.
RETURN ME MY BLOODY PHOTOSHOP CD PLEASE WHOEVER HAS IT.
SHOES SHOES SHOES! BUY ME SOME SHOES, I PROMISE I WONT WALK OUT OF YOUR LIFE AFTER YOU GET ME A PAIR OR TWO.
AND I NEED A NEW PHONE. THE NOKIA 7610 PHONE LOOKS HAWWT. IT'S SEXZY. DONATE!
BE GENEROUS! CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNER!
SANTA WILL REMEMBER YOU FOR THESE GOOD DEEDS!
AND I PROMISE I WILL LIKE YOU.
SO IN SHORT, THIS IS MY FRIGGING WISHLIST THIS XMAS.
i will use colours to show the outstandingness.
COOLIO THINGS! starting from the most wanted...the form that gets me to tp vsc!ibanez/peavey bass with an amp, etc.digital/manual camera 5/++megapix. preferrably by sony.vans slip-ons. preferrably green/purple/white on black.nokia 7610 phone!photoshop 0.7 in my damn computer.sexzy black ipod nano!a good paying job.black pants.band tees! eighteen visions, emery, etc.!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
yes, im a scorpio. thus, my feelings tend to be really extreme.
it's weird though i can see it for myself and i just cant control my feelings,
yes, though i know sometimes the way i feel is extremely stupid.
but YEA. HAHA. okay!
HANDS DOWN THIS IS THE BEST DAY I CAN EVER REMEMBER!
okay, all i did the whole day was wake up at 3pm
then stayed at home bumming and practicing bass.
so it's not the best day,
i just feel like bursting into song cause of my mood. HAHA.
YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER STAR THAT BURNED OUT TOO QUICKLY!
hahaha. okay. and since it's alrdy past 1am on 8th dec...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HETTS! (:
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
I guess I remember every glance you shot me
Unharmed, Im losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didnt even scream 'fuck me'
yup. okay. good night and good bye.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
the gig on 18th dec at warehouse has been postponed.
due to the ambassador of the sponsors' trip to india.
yes, like... wtf?! okay, never mind. but... YES.
it's been postponed till sometime in january.
the confirmed date is yet to be set.
yayyyyy. more time to practice.
more time to burn russell's dumb ass.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
and remember kids, whatever he says to you, is purely bullshit.
in your face, whiteboy.
Friday, December 02, 2005
(nat) failure by designer jeans says:
eateateat
failure by designer jeans says:
HAVE SOME BREADED CHICKEN LITTLE
failure by designer jeans says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(nora) PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
HAHAHAHA.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
you bafooon.
failure by designer jeans says:
hahaha
failure by designer jeans says:
what funky company is this again?
failure by designer jeans says:
HAHAHAHAHA
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
UOB BANK.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
haha.
failure by designer jeans says:
HAHAHAHA
failure by designer jeans says:
WOWZA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHA
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
OH MY GOD.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
HAHA.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
the workers rarely work!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
cos there are no bloody one!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
so everyone just slacks.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
hahah
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
like my nickname?
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
slacks, eat, talk!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
thanks nat.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
thank you very much.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
haha.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHAHAH
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
do you want some?
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
haha.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
NO
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
im sure!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
dont worry.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
you can enoy them and its dancee
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
*enjoy
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
ill remember to paste a few stickers on your christmas present!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
haahhahahahaahahahahahahah.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA USE THE,?
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
#THEM
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHHAAHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
uhhuh, just for you nat.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
i know how much you lovelovelovelove them!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
: D
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES IT! says:
HAHHAHAHA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES IT! says:
\MY NICKNAME IS NICER NOW
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
ill even buy a sticker book, just for you to paste the stickers on!
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
HAHA, WHY THANK YOU NAT.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
TELL THE WHOLE WORLDDD.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
HAAH.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
HAHA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE SHARING YOUR STICKERS
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
just for you, ill share them.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
BUT IM SURE NOBODY WOULD WANT THEM
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
haha
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
JUST FOR YOU.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
EXCUSESS
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
HAHAHA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
still lunching?
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
on your breaded chicken littles?
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
hahahahhahahaahaahaahaaaahaha
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
OH PISH POSH NATT.
PULL THE TRIGGER ; NOW HE'S DEAD says:
HAHA.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
MY MOTHER JUST COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY OH-SO-CUTE STICKERS!
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
SHE ALSO QUESTIONED MY INTENTIONS/SANITY ON BUYING THEM.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
WOW
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
"WASTE YOUR MONEY, BUT VERY CUTE"
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
I BET IT'S CAUSE YOU
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
DISPLAY THEM SOOOO OPENLY
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
HAAHAHAHHAHAA
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
IT WAS IN MY BAG, ALL CRUSHED UP ACTUALLY.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
HOW MANY THINGS HAVE THE STICKERS STUCK ON THJEM ALRDY?
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
AHAHAHHAHA
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHA, HMM THE LAST I CHECKED.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
YOUR NANO MAYBE?
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
ERRR, ABOUT FIVE.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
OOH YES!
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
NANO, THATS A NICE PLACE TO PUT ONE.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
NOW MORE PEOPLE CAN LUST OVER MY NANO.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
MY OH SO CHICKEN LITTTLELIE NANO.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HOGAWDD.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
hahahahahahaha
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS AND USES THEM! says:
i know your secret!
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
SHHH, LETS NOT TELL ANYONE KNOW.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
CAUSE THEN EVERYONE WOULD WANNA DO THE SAME.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
TSKK.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
I KNOW YOU HAVE IT TOOOO.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO! says:
hahaha
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO! says:
oops
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO! says:
look at my nickname!
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
CHES NATTTT.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
YOU SPOILERR.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAVE YOU SEEN MY NICK/
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAAH.
NAT WANTS MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
*?
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHAHAHA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO! says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHA
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
TSK NAT, TSK TSK.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHAHAH
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
LOOK AT MINE AGAIN
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
OHMYGODD.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHAHAHA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
AND MY MOMMMNORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
THINKS IM MAD
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HAHAHAHAA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
CAUSE IM LAUGHING IN FRONT OF THE COM
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
HELLO AUNTIE!
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHAHHAHA
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA.
NAT LUSTS OVER MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS! says:
YOU PSYCHOO.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
who's the one with chicken little stickers?!
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
YOU
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHHA
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS. says:
WHO'S THE ONE LAUGHING INFRONT OF HER COM.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS. says:
YOU.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HO GAWD.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
IM MAD.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
YOURE MAD.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
WE'RE MAD.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
your nick
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
WAIT TILL I BLOG ABOUT THEM.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
IS VERY UNTRUE
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAHA.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
IM SURE!
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
YOU WAIT
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHAHA
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
OH NO.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
I'VE RUN OUT OF IDEAS.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
ILL BLOG ABOUT THIS!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
ILL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD HOW MUCH YOU LUSTS OVER MY STICKERS!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAAH.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
hahahaha
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
I'LL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD MORE THAN WHAT YOU CAN TELL THEM.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
ILL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU CAN TELL THEM!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAH, IN YOUR FACE BUBBBBBAA..
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAHA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
hahahah
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
I'LL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD MOST TRUTHFULLY AND THE VERY INTIMATE DETAILS OF WHAT YOU CAN TELL THEM!
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HA!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
OH MY GOD.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
ILL DOUBLE WHATEVER YOU'RE GONNA DO!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAHAHAAHHAAA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
BUT YOU'LL BE LYING
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHAH
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
OH YOU SUCK.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAHA.
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
AND WHO WANTS TO READ YOUR BUNCH OF LIES ANYWAY?
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAAHAHHAA
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
ALL YOUR FANS/CRUSHES/STALKERS &SO ON!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAHA.
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
(WHAT?!?!?!?)
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
HAHA
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
AT LEAST I HAVE THOSE!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
EXCUSE ME!
NORA HAS CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ON HER IPOD NANO AND LUSTS FOR MORE! says:
:P
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
I'VE GOT ANONS/STALKERS/FANS &SO MUCH MORE PLEASE!
NAT LUSTS/DESIRES FOR MY CHICKEN LITTLE STICKERS ; SHE WANTS THEM. SHE LIKES THEM. SHE LOVES THEM! says:
HAHA.
seriously, nora loves and lusts over chicken little's feathery butt as it does the numanuma dance.
yeaaaaaaaaaap.
we're going for the lime's sonic bang thing on sunday,
and guess what nora calls it...
LIMEBANGSONG!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
and a few other people that i know too.
why must tp be sofa king far away?
and why must the interview be at NINE IN THE MORNING.
ho gawwd. thank God for mrt!
haha. well, my portfolio is not quite up yet.
i've been sitting at my desk for five hours straight doing it.
i feel quite accomplished though im not even finished. HEH.
anddd i think im more focused on this than anything else now.
and i've never concentrated like this,
yes, this is the FIRST TIME.
i didnt even focus this much for my o's.
HAHA. im a genius. i feel like i could kill myself.
wheeee.
anyway, it's better if i use friday, saturday and sunday to it's fullest.
today is almost over, so yea, cant count it.
and also bryan will be at church camp
so that leaves me quite bored and lonely.
JUST WHAT I NEED TO BE ALL ARTY FARTY WITH.
HAHHHHH.
okay. im going back to doing my folio soon!
it's quite neat. i feel so proud of myself. HAHA.
now i can only pray that my interview goes GREAT and i get into visual comms.
all effort will be paid off.
please may that phrase be true!
oh and today is andy's birthday,
and it's his and donn's second month together too!
how time flies.
happy birthday andy, and yours and donn's anniversary!
wow, that's pretty long eh.
okay. I FEEL SO INTOXICATED TODAY!
maybe this is how i would feel if i took drugs and went high!
(:
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
who refuses to tell me when she's coming home this holiday.
nat is one bored kid,
but since she's dedicating a blog entry to me for this,
i complied. hahaha.
nat shows her knickers to everyone.
nat always snuck out to meet her friends at night.
nat cant stay out of trouble for too long
nat keeps changing blogs
her recent one is http://sorrentomoon.blogspot.com.
oops, nat is marking me on this and sending it to my muvtherr,
so i better make it good eh? HAHA.
nat used to be a huge little tomboy
and she's gone to australia earlier this year to study.
so in other words,
she's left most of her friends lonely and unhappy.
haha.
NAT, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TYPE ANYMORE.
EXCEPT THAT...
YOU'RE A BIG NUTTER AND WE MISS YOU!
WE CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO COME HOME
SO WE CAN HANG OUT, CHILL AND PLAY BLOCK CATCHING!
THANKS FOR BEING LIKE THE SUNSHINE WITH YOUR ANTICS.
i love you! (:
and as promised, this comes with a picture. haha!
take care now, babe, i hope you're less bored now.
well, i thought i could take photos of my art for my portfolio ealier this afternoon,
but guess what... i woke up early and rushed to school for nothing!
IN FACT, mrs zailee said i could do it on wed.
and then i ended up going to the new school campus and clearing the art studio.
seriously, i dunno why they didnt throw out all the junk before moving to the holding school.
male teachers are that dumb. and they even threw away apple computers!
well, yes, carry this and dump that. what fun i had.
sweepsweepsweep. i think the dust got to my head after awhile.
and bea and nora had to clear some shitty stuff out of the cabinet.
it was literally shitty and had maggot thingys and flies flying out of it.
and a few million spiders ran out of their little hidey holes too.
i learnt that bea gets heebiejeebies from spiders.
and here are the photos of today, by the very same model, NORA. haha.
doesnt it seem extremely gloomy to be cleaning the art studios?
nora thinks so.
and nora,
dont worry, you'll get thru this time without your sis, dad or the lap top at home.
just go to bea's house everyday! haha! anddd dont worry abt the mother.
we all go thru the same pain. at least you've got your ipod NANO. idiot! hahaha.
anyway, i love you, malay! hahaha.
i got this off http://deviantart.com while browsing art pieces and journal entries.
it is quite hilarious. haha.
1. YOUR STAR NAME (name of first pet + street you live on):
lexie dublin
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (grandma's first name + granddad's first name + favorite snack):
melody william churros
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant):
adelaide sushi tei. -HAHA. WTF.
4. YOUR SOCIALITE NAME (silliest childhood nickname + first town or place where you partied):
nattiewattie spindletop
5. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME (first initial + first three letters of your last name):
njen
6. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (favorite animal + name of high school):
zebra chij -HAHA. okay, i dont have a favourite animal, but i can draw zebras quite well! (:
7. YOUR BARFLY NAME (last snack food you ate + your favorite drink):
granola coke
8. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name + city where you were born):
jean singapore -ugh, singapore ruins it. hahaha.
9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (favorite candy + favorite musician's last name):
dars martin
10. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME (name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use):
bryan singtel -this one's a lame one.
oh yes, it's past 12midnight now. and though i've done this personally for the birthday boy,
i shall do it again! hahaha.
happy birthday, JOEY!
Monday, November 28, 2005
love the song...
home is where the heart is
by a change of pace. haha.
and my com keeps typing by itself.
irritating.
you build me up and break me down
i'll find a way to leave this town
and nothing good you'll ever say
will stay with me
haha. actually, queen of hearts is a good song too.
ah!
check out purevolume and i'll shut up
http://purevolume.com/achangeofpace
HEH. enjoi
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Saturday, November 26, 2005
EMO, go cry somewhere, your taking up space
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry. Bet you heard that one before... Darkness is the only light suicide the way, if you don't like life, tuff, deal with it and try to make the best of it, if not then kill yourself already and stop complaining.
i am LABELLED a pussy. ):
Friday, November 25, 2005
just click on the link below...
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/entergothika/album?.dir=/6ccb&urlhint=actn,ren%3as,64%3af,0
and i guess grad night was pretty fun
apart from the weird games and emcee.
haha. but everyone looked so good.
and i couldnt recognise some people due to the vast change of clothing, make up and hair.
HAHA.
oh well. and i kinda thought it would've been lei chey.
went clubbing after that,
and ummm... YEA. haha. okay, that's all for now.
BYE.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
but after washing it fades off i little bit.
HOW ANNOYING.
so yes, this is how it looks....
tonight is grad night.
and i dunno why, im not fully looking forward to it.
maybe cause my dress isnt what i had in mind.
oh well...
BUT I HAVE GREEN HAIR AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME!
HAHAHAHAHA.except another 20 washes. boo.
Monday, November 21, 2005
click on the above link for all graduates of 2005.
you all prolly would've watched this video if you attended the farewell mass,
but since tmr's the last few times we'd sit in our school uniform to do a paper,
all i can say is that i will miss ij and all the stupid things we did
since primary school and through secondary school.
from the silly note passing to the broken rules.
so yes, after reading donn's blog im all emo now. haha.
so i'd like to mention a few people who made ij a super place to be...
from english lessons to the toilet cubicles. HAHA.
ally, donn, sheryl, val, claire chua, mandar, nora, lizzie, bea, gayle, majo, bird, veekay, aileen, jeannine, jazryl, mel yeo, claire wong, jenny, jennifer, cassie, nisha, pamela, gen, eliz, eeching, belle, vanessatng, tat, manda cheok, nana, shayna, ivana, naddy, carrie, gail, nicole moosa, perry, jiang, ethel, gekshan, kai ling, charmaine tay, jasper, evann, feline, huiwei, priscilla, celine, edith, nicole ds, carrie ann, jenna and dawn.
ummm... sorry but i cant think of anymore! haha.
but yea, everyone whom i've made contact with lah huh.
OKAY, NIGHT.
LAST PAPER TOMORROW!
AND IM HIGHLIGHTING MY HAIR GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
yayyyy!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
besides watching 4th avenue yesterday,
i went to watch 'sky high' with bryan after novena.
it was somewhat cooliooo.
especially the bad guys. hahahahaha.
i dont know why, but YEA.
except the head villian cause she's weird
and so is the creep who follows her around.
HAHA. but yes, JAKE SANDVIG IS COOL IN THIS MOVIE.
or maybe i just think it's his dressing in the movie.
his character is known as lash, the guy with stretchy arms and the fast fat guy.
hahaha.
i like black, i like white, i like purple, i like stripes.
hahahahaha.
anyway, sky high is not a bad movie, however, the plot is typical. go watch it!
oh yes, and im hooked on chilli crab cup noodles. HAHAHAHA.
shit, i should go study my bio now. BYE.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
linked under photos2.
and yes nigel, it's a gig i wouldnt forget, yayyy, rockstar! HAHA.
Friday, November 18, 2005
yes, this is addressed to Y-O-U.
or more like... THEM.
cause they are MORONS.
i hate people who contradict themselves,
i hate people who jack themselves in their own backsides,
all cause they were trying in vain to express themselves.
seriously, FUCK OFFFFFFF.
idiotidioitidiot.
and then people tell me:
"nat, why do you care about what people say? you of all people shouldnt be affected by this"
well... it's my problem cause the problem addressed was stated to me,
right at my doorstep- it inolves me.
so my question back to those MORONIC PRICKS is:
"dear moronic prick(s), why do you care to comment when this has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU? dumb dumb. you make yourself extremely STEWPIDDDD."
yes, you take advantage of the fact i am considerate at the expense of my own feelings.
dont even think of blogging on your pathetic blog about this with your STUPID BAD ENGLISH.
seriously, you make no sense most of the time and your expressions are all WRONG.
how will you ever pass your n/o levels?
wrong spelling is already frustrating enough, for fuck's sake, you're more than 16 alrdy.
and to make it worse, your expressions are wrong, so are your dumb idioms.
do you even know what an idiom is?
suck on these words, bitch.
anyway, my o's are ending! two more papers!
bio and bio/phy mcq! YAYYYYYYY.
22nd november, here i come.
and no, im not tailoring my grad night dress anymore
cause my mom is irresponsible.
i will NOT be like my mom in future.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
A bit of fun. Takes a while though...
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your internet friends
( )been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing
(x) been at a concert
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( )made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
(x) won a contest
( ) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast/third person
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
( ) liked the way you looked
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
(x- HAHA, THEY'RE COOL LAH) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been on the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x- it was barley) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(x) scared to watch a scary movie alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
(x-my school uniform! HA.) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
(x) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played gay chicken
(x) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x-shut up.) told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) french braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub
(x) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house
(x) loved someone so much you would gladly die for them
my life is boring.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
it's linked under PHOTOS2 as usual.
yup, comes with other photos too, so if you're nosey you can go see.
and i've decided to incorporate this as photo of the day. hahaha.
i swear he's uber cute here.
though the picture is kinda fuzzy cause i retook it with my lousy digi cam.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
You are worth more than money can buy. You are so
amazing that you didn't even need to take this
quiz. Why do you question yourself? I think
you are a wonderful individual, you might be
misunderstood at times, but you can do it.
Believe in yourself!
::What are you worth?::
brought to you by Quizilla
wowza!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
and sometimes im amazed by how lucky i've been.
wait, i dont believe in luck.
well, God is good.
i dont know how i deserved this one person.
am i doing something right?
anyway, thank you everyone who woke up early/stayed up late
just to call/sms me. haha.
yes, especially bryan. thank you.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
so stop wishing me happy birthday cause you interpreted the prev entry wrongly.
i was talking about my birthday.
i wasnt saying it was my birthday.
hahahaha. not one person, but three, people thought it's today.
today is happy hat day.
i love donn and ally.
geog was a killer.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
tomorrow is happy hat day.
but i dont see why it should be so happy,
since i have a geography paper to do tomorrow.
oh wait, i do know why i should be happy.
and i think my phone is ringing,
but im too lazy to go to my room now.
haha. too bad, so sad.
anyway, my mom is starting to talk to me about my birthday again.
asking me what cake do i like.
honestly, i had no idea what the hell she was talking about
cause she was just asking what cake i like and if my friends are coming over.
i got all snappy on her telling her i think she shouldnt be thinking of my birthday
cause nobody's gonna care with all the studying to be done,
nobody would make the effort to come out anyway.or maybe im just thinking of a particular person now.
i miss how everything used to be, always the three of us.
nat, donn and ally.
as i said before, the thought of my birthday seem so distant
and i think it's crazy how im sixteen this year already
however i wanna be older yet i think in time to come youth will be long gone.
i dont wanna grow up and do big things.
but all i know is that to complete my o's,
and get into the desired course...
would feel like a hundred birthday celebrations for me.
not birthdays. but the celebrations.
i swear i wouldnt care for the next fifity years of birthdays if i made it.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
IM ONLINE NOW AND SO FAR
IM THE ONLY ONE WHO'S TAKING PAPERS TMR THAT'S ONLINE.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
im not stressed. it's weird.
but i think tmr i'll freak out,
just like our first gig.
i thought everything was cool,
until i realised i had to read my tabs again.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. but in the end it turned out okay, right?
yea, no worries lah. no worries.
GODSPEED, MY FRIENDS, GODSPEED!
and,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAIRE!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU, YOU BITCH.
so many birthdays this month.
i cant believe mine's coming too.
it feels like it's in a few months time.
oh well, it's not gonna be much fun this year.
all the bloody studying i'll be doing.
nevermind. my grandmas, uncle and his gf gave me red packets.
wow, im rich again.
but now i have to wait till 22nd or later to spend it.
i am not having a cool time at all. haha.
but im glad this year, if i were to have a party or smth
i wouldnt have a lousy boyfriend who wouldnt turn up for it
and wouldnt really piss me off on the day itself.
dear friends who spent 13th nov 2004 with me last yr,
do you still remember what the white jackass did?
or more like... did not do?
well, it's not gonna be shitty like last yr for sure.partly cause im hitting the books only.
and thank you for being there with me.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
yayyyy. and honestly, it still hasnt hit me hard enough.
GOD, PLEASE HIT ME WITH MOTIVATION.
and everything's been okay besides that.
im a happy person.
though i still have to study. awww...
Thursday, November 03, 2005
You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. How Boyish or Girlish Are You?
sheesh. im more of a boy.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
it's been almost nine months
and hence i've been alone for the longest time.
and nothing's really bothered me about it through this period of time.'cept for maybe just one thing. but that's now redundant.
but anyhows, i've been okay.
in fact, better than i should've been
after ending a lousy 8 month plus relationship with that white jackass.
but recently, im letting one person
no, it's not the white jackass, i learn from my mistakes, thanks.
make me feel that coldness of a relationship get to me again.
fuck, i've been alone so long, why should i let myself feel this way all over again?
and again and again, i've said to myself
"i dont need this, i dont need anyone, i dont have time for this."
but recently, it seems the opposite.
and true enough,
it contorts and wrenches a large portion of my thoughts.
questions asked each other- negative.
answers exchanged- positive.
but somehow i doubt it greatly.
does it vary from person to person who sees us together?
does it make sense to hide and lie when in the end we'd expose the truth?
someone please answer my questions.
in the mean time, i'd lay low and pretend everything's okay.
i'll play it your way and allow myself to be consumed in guilt.maybe if we came out into the light, i'd feel i have my friends like always again.
i dont know if you'll read this, and im not making it a point for you to.
it's up to you to be concerned about my asinine paranoia.
majj:
and you wont be getting any new templates soon. sorry!
'tis the period to be studying. ho. ho. ho.
spare me just three last words.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
so it's a day which i have to go for mass.
i feel quite tired. but i have to study study study!
6 more days to the first o'level paper.
12 more days to my birthday.
22 days to freedom.
54 days to christmas.
ho gawwwd.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
but eet ees reeallee ohhh kayyy.
oh yea. and i think i dont wanna go to sacred heart church
for 12pm masses anymore
father paul tay is quite weirddddd.
i dont like him very much.
and the mass was quite strange.
oh well, their church does a lot of things differently.
note to self:
nat, wake up early next time and dont ignore your alarm on sundays. cause you'll end up waking up at 11.30am and having to go to a "lively" mass. the only thing really lively about it was cause i had to control myself from snorting or laughing out loud.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
and it didnt get any better. yay.
anyway, im quite happy with myself.
i studied history today! yay.
and let me just say,
im a happy kid!
okay. umm. yea. haha.
and yesterday was a happy day.
i coudl live it everyday.
i know we did something wrong. but... arrgh.
haha.
okay, bye.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
right okay, sly, YOU DONT KNOWWWW.
or maybe you do. but... OKAY.
i am a stupid girl.
nat, studies are important.
yes, extremely important.
but somehow i wonder wtf do i even bother studying when one day
i am just gonna end up working for my parents' stupid flower shop.
will my brother be the one who does it? NO.
so obviously it's gonna end up being me.
that's so screwed cause it's not like i even loveeee flowers.
ughh.
and my brother is so stupid but he wants to be a surgeon when he grows up.
stupid boy cant even pass primary school english.
anyway, im really really bored!
lets have a pictureeee.
okay... so the picture came out from the left side of the post.
oh well, im used to using the html code instead of this easy click thing.
okay, that's all for now,
i love frank in this picture.
haha. he's so cute!
oh yea... before i forget...
happy birthday leslio!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
1- see himmmm. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
2- get my ass out of the house
3- get some studying in my head
4- drink apple juice without that stupid aloe vera rubbish.
5- make it stop raining
6- eat. eat. eat.
7- get my photoshop disc back from miss bernice yeo or WHOEVER that has it now
8- have more new songs in my stupid com.
9- go for a gig!
10- buy new shoes!
OKAY.
and i know it's been a while since i said anything like number1,
but... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
hahahhahaha. it's complicated. okay, bye.
RATHER WASTE SOME TIME WITH YOU.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
what a great start to a day.
i wake up to answer a phone call from donn
and what i hear isnt good at all.
fuck lah.
this and that, that and this.
honestly, if he's angry with me
it should solely be my fault and not anyone elses.
dont take it out on my band mates or anyone else lah k.
dont even tell my best friend things that make her feel upset.
if you have a problem with me you fucking call me up yourself.
if you cant be bothered with me to do so,
then dont even bother lah.
but really, deep down inside all i have to say is...
im sorry, andy.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
but still i gotta say some stuffs and do some shits.or should i just be doing the shit? heh.
firstly,
im uploading the band and other pictures now.
so you could look them up.
most are from chris's camera, some mine.
check under 'photos2'.
or if you're that stupid/lazy just click the following...
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/entergothika/album?.dir=/acaa
secondly,
dear whoever that has been prank calling me
around 8.10pm to 8.30pm since yesterday,
please fuck off. seriously.
i dont need you or anyone to sing 'the reason' by hoobastank to me.
and neither do i know any muttus or his dick.
yup. yesterday i was high,
so i found it quite amusing how you sang off key and professed your "love" to me.
the muttu one was just stupid and a waste of my tuition time.
lastly,
i've been blog surfing my friends' blogs.
and all i can say is please you guys,
just stop ignoring each other and stuff.
it's not at all matured or the opposite of your list of description
to ignore anyone who has really fucked your days up.
why dont you just confront the people who do so?
isnt that more matured than ignoring the others and keeping the poison inside?
please. just do yourself a favour.
they'd understand, no matter how asinine and blablablablablablabla they can be.
okay, that's it. yup.
okay, we took our band photos alrdy
and i havent uploaded them yet.
oh yea, my com is being funny.
it types '-' by itself.
so, if you see a whole line of highfens,-------------
--i do- ----a-p-ol-o-gis-e.
-_F_CUK_ING STUPID COMPUTER!
-
here we go again. im not doing this on purpose.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
or you could just click this... http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/entergothika/album?.dir=/61db&.src=ph
Saturday, October 15, 2005
hello! havent been getting enough internet time.
so yea, just a brief description on what has happened.
my band's first gig was yesterday! haha.
there was much comments on it, both good and bad.
so i dont know how good we are.
the photos will be up at a later time, sorry for the delay but this com sucks.
yup. and ummm... i will be studying hard.
YES. and i cant believe my art is finally done.
wow. anyway, thanks all who came down
and for those who gave us the great feedback on how we could improve.
other than that, life has been just as mundane and routine-like.
haha. bye!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
okay, tmr is the very last day of my secondary school life.
and know what?
IT FEELS GOOD.
never needing to wear my stupid school uniform for 6 or more hours in a day.
though there are still the bloody o's and stuff,
but yea, no more redundancy like phy/bio, geog, ss/hist, etc. IN MY LIFE.
HAAAAAA.
okok. anyway. my art looks better and better each time i do it
cause im close to completing it.
thanks to bryan, leslie and chris who came to help out today.
YAY. i never finished one layer so fast in my life.
but im still struggling with the pray glue and stuff. yup.
so that's all for now.
going jamming tmr! the gig's on friday.
and there's been a few disputes and disagreements between her black despondency
but i guess things will turn out fine eventually
when the gig is over and we start dropping all the crusty songs
and learn new ones.
oh yea, thanks to a stupid white prick,
the band was really pissed off by his "joke".
like.. ha ha. not funny at all, dude.
but glad it's cleared up.
but i think more people would rather see caracal at the third place.
boo. okay. that's all for now.
dinner!
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Archers in your arches,
raise your fingers for one last salute.
And bleed this skyline dry,
your history is mine.
i hate feeling emo.
stupid emo.
EMO IS STUPID.
but i love emo music it so much anyway.
cause im a stupid kid.
sit with me
come and play
i need you so bad.
SHUT UP, NAT. SHUT UP.
no more emo for me please.
HAPPY IS THE WORD.
pictures of simone's birthday party is up in my yahoo photos.
and i DIDNT DO WELL FOR MY PRELIMS.
i simply passed my geog and english.
that's only two subjects.
sorry to be a disappointment again.
Friday, October 07, 2005
umm yea,
i went to school today
and i think it was a bad idea to.
a huge waste of my time and zailee is really pissed at me.
anyway, today is birthday day.
cause it's jazryl's, kian's and jules' birthday.
so happy sixteenth birthday to the three of you all.
yup. and i dont know why, but i feel a bit down today.
i think it's pms.
please may it be pms.
haha. okay, im weird. but yea, unhappy.
maybe it's just the school blues.
i had to see zailee and i had two tests today.
goody. oh yea, i actually passed my geog.
hey...
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
I PASSED MY GEOGRAPHY
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
omg, i failed my phy/bio and math.
LORRAINE'S GONNA KILL SQUEEEEZE ME TOMORROW.
lorraine is my tutor who feels like squeezing me whenever i do silly things.
yup, whatever.
i passed my geog for the first time, C6 know!
haha. okay, so i passed two subjects.
and yes, i have an F9 for ART.
i now wish i got an absent instead. poot.
i am getting cooler. yes, the stars say im destined for greatness.
THEY BLUFF.
Monday, October 03, 2005
you know. if somone gave me sushi now,
i'd marry him/her.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
DONN:
i want you to know that im fucking happy for you. although im still a bit confused about your status. but you're happy and that's cool. haha. then i have exciting things to hear from you. YAYYYYYYY. okay, yea. and guess what. i found out we wore our tweedles boxers on the same night! dont know about ally, but wow. we have a connection. HAHA. okay. i love you and that's all i needed to tell you now. just dont forget me in your moments of euphoria.
HIHIPUFFYAMIYUMI
okay, that's some reatarded jap cartoon show on cartoon network.
dont worry, i dont watch stuff like that. haha.
it was just the commercial that was freaky.
yup okay. im really bored now and i cant get much sleep.
im going to die trying to study and stuff tmr. haha.
but so far, things seem to be great,
apart from my incompleted art, i have two weeks by the way.
so im quite worried and im still sitting in front of the compoopy.
yea. i think it's the chocolates i ate just now that made me feel happy.
honestly, i havent had chocolate for three days alrdy,
or maybe more.
whatever it is, it's not good for me,
and today was like tasting heaven.
i sound like a total fat fuck now, but it's these things that keep me going.
the air feels lighter and the conversations i start seem more wet than dry.okay, that sounded wrong, but NEVERMIND.
yup. the only things that really get me stirred is the sad fact we have 5 weeks to the o's.
it's not like i think i'll fail,
i just want to do well and do what im really into. yup.
and about the ngee ann gig,
we dont know if we will be playing or going for the auditions
cause we're not hundred percent ready.
i guess we all need to relax while performing
and really cooperate while we're jamming.
haha, okay. i have no more to say but i think i need more chocolate.
lets have a few pictures.
took this awhile ago on the day when shaun left singapore.
the two people im happy for. and that's me being extra. haha.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
yea. today is a sucky saturday.
because i have tuition and i feel all sicky.
i have a lumpy feeling in my throat every morning i wake up.
maybe im allergic to my own cat.
hurray.
i still need help with my art,
or i'll kill myself.
Friday, September 30, 2005
yea. im here again. not as happy and lively as i was.
i feel so dead but i cant sleep.
AH.
it's quite very frustrating.
i think we jammed pretty badly.
dont know why.
or maybe it's just me.
yup. im done here, cause i dont know what to say
but there's nothing else to do online anyway.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
YUP.
i havent been to school for practically the wholeee week.
it's weird. i feel like i never need to go back there again.
how i cant wait to say that when my stupid o'levels are over!
okay, will be studying soon and jamming tonight.
her black despondency has landed a gig at ngee ann poly in early dec.
but the auditions are in the second week of nov. or somewhere arnd there.
PLEASE MAY IT BE ON A WEEKEND.
or else i wouldnt be able to play bass for us.
yes, it's right smack in the middle of my o's,
so you can see where im gonna be in future,starrrdommmm. JOKES. i'll prolly be a roadsweeper when i grow up.
how fun. kick the prickly leaves and stuff while you sit in that coolio machine thingy.
yes, the one with spinning brooms on the bottom.
OKAY. enough fantasizing of my future career,
i see you all with your tongues straight out of your mouths and drooling.
im gonna have my lunch and STUDY!
if i can do it, so can you!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
YES HELLO.
it's alrdy wednesday,
but im updating for tuesday. so here goes...
today is a good day.
why?
cause i studied my GEOGRAPHY!
and i was really neat at it too.
except when i got a bit tired and my handwriting was scrawlly.
whatever that means.
yup. okay. andddd
wilfred, chris, bryan, leslie and i have FINALLY come up with a band name.
AND I HOPE IT STAYS.
it's 'her black despondency'.
as the 'her' refers to me.
so in my case, it is actually
my black despondency.
cause i came up with the name
and my msn space is called 'my black despondency'.
so yea. but the band name is 'HER black despondency'.HBD, sounds like hdb. HAHA.
whateverrrrrrrr. and today, or more like 27th, is nicholas chow's birthday.
they wanted to whack the shit out of him but some ice cream man stopped them.
HAHA. anyway, the macs at clarke quay is coolio julio.
yup. and i have nothing more to say.
but studying makes me feel happy, when im done with it.
pictures from friday's post prelim shopping are up on 'photos2'
okay, bye.
Monday, September 26, 2005
had my chineseb o'level orals today.
i think it was okay
even thoug the story was extremely stupid.
haha. im too lazy to even talk abt here.
yup, and so far, the papers i got back
showed my results to be okay,
but it's only half of the whole paper
so, im doomed anyway. yea.
and ah bengs from first toa payoh sec have no guts,
and the ah lians have no brains.
haha. it was fucking funny and stupid what happened
while we were all waiting for ally and maj to finish their orals.
but honestly, who wants to give numbers to someone who's cheap
and judges you by how you look.
stupid boys.
OH YES, and i must add,
RONIN IS COMING TO MY SCHOOL ON WEDNESDAY FOR ASSEMBLY.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
yay. throw me away.
nigel just sent me this song,ideas of march, by silverstein.it's damn emo.
and i fucking like it. haha!
go listen to it, everyone.
a tearjerker.
this is a song which i think it really reminds me of how i really feel.my facade is what you can say, putrefying.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
musik: the shooting star that destroyed us all- a static lullaby to all my juniors in guides (yes, i used to be a guide. now shut up):thank you for your efforts to put together the sec four farewell.
though i didnt turn up cause i couldnt wake up in time for it.i really regret so. but thanks anyway to all, esp the patrol leaders.and yes, charlene especially.i owe you lot one for not coming.
be sure of that.cause no matter how much i despised being in guides,i still love you all for making the meetings more cheerful and interesting.sorry again for not being able to wake up on time.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
protestants are stupid,
they think they can take away our catholic faith with their mumbo jumbo.
today they tried to brainwash nadia, sly, leslie, donn, chris and i.
but we stayed strong.
i seriously dont know why they have such weird beliefs.
no matter what, God will love us.
JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT!
:D
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
okay. so i never thought i'd feel like this.
i wish everything would fade away, for good.
and the funny thing is,
nobody would think i'd be upset over this.
but it's amazing how i am.
after all that's been said,
and after the contemplation and thinking.
i thought my mind was close to be made up
but looks like it's not gonna be that way anymore.
once again, im left with these two words i dread using,
"im confused".
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
God is good- all the time.
indeed He is.
i went for the healing rally held in my church today.
oh, and i must add,
thanks sly, the boy twin i never had, for telling me about it
if not i'd be a lot less enlightened. haha!
it was really good. and i let out all the anxiety in me.
okay, so did say i was happy blahblahblah but still there was so much stress.
yup. but somehow it's all gone
and by the grace of God i will get through all the shit i have to face
and i WILL go to a POLY,
yup, no matter what that silly anon said on my tag board.
yea. so whoever you are, you're forgiven for being a stupidhead.
HEH. IM A SLUT, EVERYONE.
okay, so stone me now.
but before that, look at yourself first.
TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY,
WAIT, IT ISNT A GOOD DAY.
IT'S BEEN A GREAT DAY.
dear reader, may you take care, regardless of how much you despise me.
Monday, September 19, 2005
okay, it's dawned upon me to add this entry.
i was watching the oprah winfrey show this afternoon while having my lunch.
yes. the oprah fucking winfrey show.
im not even sure if that's how you spell winfrey, but fuck. yea.
it was really cool this one. cause it was a baby shower episode.
all these pregnant mothers,
who happen to be wives of soldiers or were soldiers of the iraq war.wow. look what separation of an american couple can do
maybe singapore should try that too.
yup. anyway. i was just thinking how sweet it was to expect a kid and all
and be happily married blablabla.
but then i remembered a converstation with some people/close friends i had before.
we talked about our lives in future and about kids and careers, etc.
well, i guess i somehow understand why the modern singaporean woman
does not want to give birth in her twenties or early thirties.
cause in a way. i figured i didnt want to really have kids till alot later in my life.
yes, someone did say this to me, "nat, you're selfish. why dont you want to have kids? why would your career be more important to you?"
well, it's quite simple.
number one. this person does not have a proper direction in life.
thus does not see why she should put her career before anything else.
it's all in the simple minds.
and number two...
i spent ten years in secondary and primary school,
everyone knows how "fun" that is.
i will be spending another three in a poly (hopefully)
doing something i truly enjoy, design (really hopefully).
and maybe i'd further that dream of becoming a top advertising executive/director
with a few more years of experience and all by going to some bigass art school.
altogether i would've spent almost twenty years of my life working to reach something.
and then i get married but after 2 or three years or even less,
i get pregnant and bound to my kids for the next 21years of my life.
that would mean,
giving up my career (possibly before it even starts getting better),
and being a home maker and doing all the dratty house chores.
it might also mean 'employ a maid'.
whatever it is. i dont know how big a sacrifice like that is possible.
maybe Jesus could do it pretty easy but im not Jesus.
it's a fucking huge responsibility
and for me, if i was really into something/someone,
i'd give it my all.
if i had kids i'd devote all my love for them to them and not to my work.
but somehow, if i do get where i want someday,
it'll be really hard letting go of something im really passionate about.
yup. so that's a great challenge and why modern singaporean women with an aim in life
and myself find that we're "selfish".
enough said.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
hello. today is an okay day.
it would've been good,
but sitting here in front of my com like a loser geek.
hey, that's actually quite cool.
oh, and my favourite song to jam on the bass is currently
BITE TO BREAK SKIN. HAHAHAHA.
i used to feel all bored with the senses fail songs.
but after using cc's fender today it's fucking
fun though i cant remember the exact sequence of the chords.
OH WELL. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.
so i need practice. YES.
okay. so ummm. i put ashley's party pictures up alrdy.
YUP. go check them out in photos2.
now im still stuck at home and bored.
oh yes, i have tuition homework to do. FUCK.
AND... after reading some blogs, i think so some people
are fucking childish and have the lamest things to say on their blogs.
if i were them, i'd shoot myself to make this world a better place.
HAHA. okay, maybe i'd shoot myself now.
but then again, this is not a cool way to die. NOPE!
PLEASE DO THIS NOW I BEG.
DUCT TAPE MY ARMS AND LEGS,
THROW ME INTO THE SEA
PLEASE SAVE ME, PLEASE SAVE ME.
NOW WATCH THE WAVES EAT ME,
SETTING MY COLD HEART FREE.
I'LL WASH ASHORE IN WEEKS.
YOU CANT SAVE ME NOW.
haha. i like this song lah.
and like i said. i have no more emotional constipation.
so there's nothing about dying or whatsoever. HEH.
okay, bye.
HELLO. I WAS BLOG SURFING
AND I FOUND THIS ON BEA'S BOYFRIEND'S, HANKHEE'S, BLOG.
I THEREFORE THINK HE'S A COOL GUY.
YES, HE IS A BOY.
HAHA!
OH, AND WE JUST ENDED ASHES' BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS.
IT WAS FUCKING MESSY.
AND THERE WAS A HELL LOT OF COKE
GONE TO COMPLETE WASTE.
MAJO GOT IT WORSE ALTHOUGH IT'S NOT EVEN HER BIRTHDAY.
BUT I DIDNT GET DIRTY CAUSE IM AN ESCAPIST.
HAHA!
OKAY, I'LL UPLOAD THE PICTURES TOMORROW OR SMTH,
DO CHECK PHOTOS2 FOR THEM TOMORROW!
NOT TODAY! OR MAYBE TODAY...
JUST A LOT LATER, AFTER ALL, IT IS 1.37AM.
TAKE CARE, DEAR READERS.
NORA:
I NOW KNOW WHY YOU FIND IT SO FUN TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS. AND SOMEHOW I FEEL AS IF MY BRAIN IS SCREAMING INSIDE AS I DO SO. HAHAHAHA. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU ANYWAY, MY MALAY. HAHAHAHA. SEE YOU SOON.
OKAY,
TAMCHEW, LAI ZAI LAI.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
okay, hello everyone.
im not suffering from any emotional constipation anymore.
cause im happy.
why am i happy, i have no idea!
andddd tuition got cancelled today.
so i am extremely happy.
except for the thing that happened this morning when i woke up,
that one was really suckfest.
but im glad it's over now.
or not quite. HAHA.
yes, today is also ashley sent-doux's 16th birthday
so lets all say a happy birthday to the big boy.
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BIG BOY!
yes, so dinner will be at brenny's
and it's a pot luck dinner which i have no idea what to bring.
HAHA. and i have no food at home to cook anyway.
so i will come up with something in a few hours time!
yay. but i gots no camera cause my mom took it away to use it for her work.
she now has two cameras.
LEI CHEY.
okay, that's my mom.
now you know where i get my stupid from.
OKAY, this is only making me pissed.
im happy. HAHA.
okay, bye.
Friday, September 16, 2005
What others see from your style
You wear whatever you please, you are probably confident, stubborn, strong-minded and independent. Deep down, however, you think that you are being excluded from society. You wish you belonged, but as you don't, you're going to follow your own rules.
What your nightclothes reveal
You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.
What others see from your ties
You enjoy being alone. You like to life the simple but good life, and you cherish your freedom. You are thoughtful, confident and uninterested in glamour.
What others see from your belts
You are a frank, assertive and sometimes flamboyant person. You are friendly and want to be accepted by everybody. You like to have fun, to be free, and to live a comfortable lifestyle.
What others see from your shoes
You are a person who loves simplicity and is sincere and open. You are pleasant to be with, easygoing and always in a good mood. You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control. You don't care much about how you look, and know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important.
What others see from your earrings
You are attractive and unique. Wearing these sorts of earrings indicates that you are a romantic and easygoing person. You like to have people pleasing you, and your personality is bright and cheerful.
The last analysis (bracelets or necklaces?)
You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.
i think so, this is all quite true.
except for some i still stuff like what i wear to sleep.
by the way, what i wear to sleep is boxers and tees,
so i dont see what's so sexy about it.
click here to do this quiz!
but i think it's only for girls or something.
yup. my back is uber gross. it's like i've got leprosy.
damn sunburn.
and today is a good day.
for today is friday! (:
oh shit, that reminds me.
i just had bacon for lunch.
FUCK. ):
okay. i should be going to green later.
i think. i dont know.
my dad went bintan yesterday afternoon.
and i hope he takes his time to come home
so i can go out or something that means fun.
okay, i have nothing to say anymore cause this is so boring.
lets have an emocore song!
ponytail parades- emery
three sleepless nights
this isnt how it's supposed to be
but you're so good at taking your time
to get back to me
i will wait for you forever
if you would just ask me
i thought that i could change you
but you changed me
it doesnt feel right
holding someone elses hand
together on phone lines
and living at two opposite ends
it scares me to think that you could find takers
other than me and better than me
but your head is elsewhere
and im talking enough about both of us
when will you see it's not so easy for me?
you're careless and whispered
insulting and bruising
and i thought that you said
things were improving
these laces are untied
but my feet are still walking away
away
i never thought that
you could say these words
is this really happening?
/dont say
i never thought that
you could say these words
is this really happening?
/dont say that we can
i never thought that
you could say these words
is this really happening?
/dont say that we can still be
i never thought that
you could say these words
is this really happening?
/dont say that we can still be friends
erase my name from this page
how can you take all these days/what is inside me? what have I done?
and throw them away/is this the only way that you will notice me?
as I sit here waiting for you/dead words for closed ears all this is sung
for you, for you
i stay up nights/if you are still pretending this is what's right
until stars leave the sky/why can't you look at me can you only see
knowing what my dreams can take away/sides, your side, can
take away
walk away from me
this night is done.
and so is this song,
i bid you, reader, a happy day.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
YAY.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
i dont know why im so stressed today.
it must've been the residue of yesterday's shit.
specifically, the people who make me unhappy
or more like the person is my dad.
i dont know why he disapproves of everything.
and i hate it when i ask him a yes or no question
and then he tells me a few million things AND THEN DOESNT GIVE ME AN DIRECT ANSWER.
and do you wanna know something fucking retarded?
he asked me this...
'why cant you be normal like other kids and take up golf? why must you be in a band? is it cool?'
hi, will someone PLEASE tell me what's more "cool".
golf or playing music?
and now, i know im abnormal like allllllll my friends cause i dont play GOLF.
FUCK GOLF.
it was a serious waste of my time and it got me nowhere.
i didnt even earn that stupid cert that allows me to play on the courses!
what a waste of saturdays, im glad it's two years since it's over.
and the best part is that im not worried about my prelims
the only thing i dread is the fact that my dad will take away so much when the results return.
i dont know how to make him understand.
he's not strict, he's PARANOID.
and honestly, i dislike him a lot.
whenever he gets a headache, he takes it out on everyone else.
somehow, i realise my mom is a very nice person
to put up with the nineteen years married to him.
it's barely sixteen years for me and im dying.
fuck lah, why cant he understand?
im so stressed out that the past month and weeks i've not been sleeping well.
why do you think i stay up till four or sometimes the whole night talking on the phone?
i've never felt so alone living here in my new house and my parents with their new job.
i see them everyday, in fact, they are working in the house everyday.
but i dont get to tell them anything cause it's just so disconnected now.
i dont know what to do with anything anymore.
i cant study at home and i never have enough money on me.
i really really dont know what's gonna happen when my prelim results come out.
it's not like it'll determine my life, but it'll be hell for me till my o's are over.
please someone help me, im dying here in front of you.
some people make me sad.
that's all i have to say.
dont treat me like im to blame
dont treat me like i've ever accused you
Friday, September 09, 2005
bryan, chris, charmaine, jude, peter, gabriel, leslie, nadia, sara, charlene and i
went to sentosa.
it was a pretty last minute thing.
however, we are all sunburnt. wow.
except for chris cause he's abnormal and doesnt get any darker or burnt.
haha.
went swimming, tanned, mucked around and played plenty of soccer.
it was all good. yup yup.
but gabriel lost his wallet and we ended up going back to sentosa to report it
for free! haha. yup.
and it's the first time any of us went to sentosa twice in a day.
after that bryan, chris, leslie, peter and gabriel came to my house to slack.
i was quite surprised my parents asked them in
when i told them that five boys were sitting outside our house.
and we played some number game
which was like shit cos all of us ended up drinking a mixture of
ribena, milo powder, diet coke, chilli and tomato ketchup.
so last night the six of us had stomachaches. yay.
anyway, im uploading the pictures of yesterday now on my yahoo acct.
click on the link photos2 to view them.
and remember rachel phoon?
well, she's in singapore and this morning she was at my house.
wow. it was quite a surprise. yup.
and later i'll be going to balestier for some gig.
okay. end.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
"take a hot shower when you're having a cold. you'll feel much better!"
it's actually a bunch of lies.
i do not feel better.
i just feel wetter.that sounded so wrong.
and who are "they" anyway?
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
the crowd was not that alive and kicking
and there were a few people who distracted others
with loud comments.
wow.
but overall it was okay. yup. and i enjoyed myself yesterday.except for the fact i bumped my head and now there's a bump.
took photos but only a few was from novena,
the rest was what i did after novena with the church people.
namely aileen, ashley, ceecee, john, majo and neek.
got really stupid drinking my mocha frappachino with extra chocolate powder
but maj was worse. she and her caramel frap. HO GAWD.
and aileen and her got me talking like a complete moron.
have you ever watched sesame street?
think of the count dracula guy's accent and laughter.
well, they both were laughing all... (insert accent here) ah ah ah ah.
which was bloody moronic and annoyingggggg.
yes, and they got me talking like that too.
idiots. haha.
i think we were worse than the boys.
and ashes was trying to be all funny as usual. HAHA.
i owe you a blog template right? yup, okay. haha.
so i said enough and i'll post two pictures here. there are more in my yahoo acct.
under the link photos2.
psycho already i see.
yup, all the fun going on.
and guess what happened this morning when i looked into a mirror?
no, i didnt see a monster.
but i have eyebags and dark circles forming under my eyes.
i think so i have to stop late night phone calls and activities.
but with all the exams coming,
it seems that the night is the little time i have to do stuff.
pooey.
and now
i bid you reader, a good day ahead.
i guess the shine mary shine healing really got a load off me.
Monday, September 05, 2005
im too upset to care anymore.
really, it's just so fucked up
that i dont wanna talk or think about it anymore.
it's killing me and everything.
fuck the son of a bitch.
i dont care about anything anymore.
not you or him or her or anyone else for that matter.
it's just gonna be what really matters now.
and besides, there are people who are worse off in this world.
dear reader,
i hope you've enjoyed reading this.
what the fuck lah.
i hate these misunderstandings and misinterpretations.
just when things were looking up
everything is just smashed to shit pieces.
im sorry. i really am.
and i didnt mean to offend anyone.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
went with nadia, it was real good talking to her and all.
and im even more convinced that Tim Burton is a genius film maker.
now lets have a photo.
he's so uber hot in this movie.
oh yea, and i've decided to stop being all gloaty over you.
though i know it fucking stabs me
when you dont bother saying 'hello' or 'bye'
and when you bother talking to minahs
more than you bother talking to me.
i just want you to know that
im still in.
this is my last breath.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
i replied a few messages,
and i went to sleep again.wow, it's 2.18pm!"hey, where's nat? did she go out?""i dont know."who notices me anymore?
so tomorrow is my math paper1 prelims.
i have a very bad feeling about it. yup.
and my tuition today is gonna be four hours long. yay.
by the way, if anyone is able to do raffles instituition's prelim paper,may you please go back to your planet uranus.freak paper doing people.for some reason, im being overly sensitive on things.
today i kicked the dog by accident and when it looked at me i felt sad.
wow. like, wtf nat?
okay, moving on.once again people are dying in parts of the world.new orleans they call it.yup, bloody katrina.and the place is now infested with crocodiles and water snakes.God is seriously trying to wipe some evil out.can i say that new orleans isnt a very clean place?not literally. yup.but still, i guess some people dont deserve to die in such a disaster.
since sunday, i realised how many unhappy homes there are.how unfair and biased parents can be.i have no time to talk about thiscause my four hour long tuition is gonna start in 45min.and i have to be on my way to ally's now.but just one last thing,stay together for the kids.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
yup, i really dont know why and i hate this feeling.
oh, i did a math paper today.
and it was only paper one.
after every two questions i had to ask for help.
this went on for two hours. wow.
im super stupid and my prelims are gonna be screwed.
yay.
my art is screwed, my math is screwed and geog.
greatttt.
i only take emath, by the way.
cos im too stupid. yup.
i've got another confession to make.
say this with me now...
hi. bye. chee. bye.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
i am bored. i know i should be studying.but i came across this while surfing. haha!it's so weird, but fucking educational to watch the videos.it's childish but... wow. haha.yummy yummy. doughnuts! haha. look at their cool cow costumes!
now they are going home in their bubbles and look at the scenery. it's also yummy.but the rabbits are freaky. haha!
cartoons can be violent and full of explosions.okay, that's it. haaah!
yay. i changed the template!haha. and im quite happy with it.
a little self obsessed,
but doesnt matter!
haha. i just like the colours and that's all that matters.
YUP!
i had science practicals today.
my physics is screwed.
alllllllllllllllllllllright!
Monday, August 29, 2005
yup yup. im gonna fail my prelims.no doubt.and im inspired to change my blogskin.im bored of the hot guitarists here.so next time you check,there might be something new. 'might' is a strong word.no pun intended.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
so today was a busy saturday as usual.
went for novena in the morning,and went to watch the tapestry gig at far east.i missed west grand boulevard by one and a half hours by the way.and silhouette clothing is supposed to be sponsoring them.jammed a bit and finally...celebrated aileen's birthday at brendan's.yup, it was great fun.especially watching john get sprayed by coke.too bad i didnt get pictures of that.precious coke gone to waste.anyway...i've put the pictures up in photos2 alrdy.or at least im doing it now.yup!and i hardly studied today.correction, i didnt study today and geog paper is on monday.SCREWIT! i would say.anyway, lets have a picture.
oh, and this is the state of my room.it frustrates and agitates me completely.im complusive, yet im too lazy to do anything about it.
Friday, August 26, 2005
'cheer up, emo kid.'one more time, i'd be quite annoyed.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
at exactly the right time,
but he means nothing to me
and i dont know why.
i want you to know that, i miss you.
i miss you so.
wow, emo.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
and YOU DONT KNOWWWWW.i will not reveal who 'you' are.cos when i see you the next time,which is veryveryvery soon, you'll smack me.hahahahahahahaha.dont worry, i'll tell you someday.oh the love, oh the magik.i have a feeling if you read this anytime soon,you'd know im talking about you.isnt this all confusing?you this you that.but becauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh you are my friendi will spare you this!andddd even though YOU kept laughing at me for more than 15min for smth REALLY STUPID and EMBARRASSING,i will still NOT TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.HEH HEH HEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!mushymushy, no? oh yes, something really bad happened to me todaywhile i was on my way to green.
YUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.kkb has nice school shorts.
hi.
i have stomach cramps.
becauuuuuuuuh why ah?
im a girl.
right.
and becauuuuuuuuuuuh they say so im under stress.
my emotions are supposedly all twisty
and so is my uterus.
WOW.
and so i came home during the fourth period of school,and took a good sleep till recently.and donn is coming over now.so im waiting for her.lalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaa!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
okay, i suddenly feel like vomitting.i read someone's blog.
and i think so it's the biggest joke i've read in the world.it's also- a very sick joke.i wouldnt post it hereunless i wanna let some "punk rock" chick mosh on me.
YUP.
gross gross gross.all a bunch of lies and deceit.when will there the purest of hearts be available to stupid, unsuspecting boys?yupyup. tra-der-gee, the tweedles will say.and im suddenly really glad im not in a relationship.too much fuss and mush,too much sappy wappy words.okay, so im not ready, cos my head is filled with my studies.sad, but true.oh yes, it's been done done done.and i dont feel great about it.i feel really terrible actually.so all the fucks i read in the other blog makes my stomach worse,did i mention dinner sucked?YUP. what a great life i lead.but i need to do so much stuff in this youthful years.so yea, i feel really sorry about everything.unfortunately, i dont regret my decision.and at least im honest and sincere, unlike some snakes.okay, enough of this.today i learnt a new song on the bass.it's called 'juneau',heard of it yet?hmmmm...anyway, lets have pictures, for today, i got a new cat.
oh yes, it's name is mouser.my brother and mom named it.hence, the stupid name.
yes, i have to do this tonight.
okay, and i have to rid of everything that distracts me from my studies.
i have no time for any of this anymore.
even if i wanted it badly in the first place,
even if i did get something else in the end.
no matter what, im gonna get rid of it all.
or at least,
put it all on hold.
till later, but all i know is that i have to concentrate.
and i dont think i'll regret any of my decisions.
yup, the single life i lead has been with me for the past months alrdy.
and i must admit i quite enjoy it.
i have more time for my studies and everything.
my phone bill is cheaper too. haha.
so im gonna keep it that way.
and i know i might end up hurting someone
well, it's my life and i need to lead it right.
im sorry.
Friday, August 19, 2005
YES.so i said that i'd go to school today.well, i tried to change.but i changed my mind.wont you have another glass of mexican wine?
ANYWAY,THE TWEEDLES ARE GONNA BE IN BIG SHEEEET.CAUSE ALL THREE OF US DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL.
HO YEA.
nehnehnehnehnehnehneh.
and i have one last thing to say to you...it's better you trapped yourself in your own way,and if you want me back,
you gotta ask nicer than that.
YEAYEAYEA.
SMILE EVERYONE!TOMORROW IS SATURDAY.SATURDAY IS MY FAOURITE DAY.THE DAY IM ALLOWED LEGALLY TO STAY AT HOME.but do i wanna wanna wanna do that?NO!
okay, bye.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
WOW.
and i screwed it up!
YAY.
okay, im going to school tmr.
apparently, i've been in hot demand.
HAHA. jokes.
okay. bye.
Monday, August 15, 2005
hello. yesterday was very much exhilarating.
first was a surprise for john
and then some hardcore bass lesson.
fuck, promise is a damn hard song to play on the bass!
i think i spent more than one hour trying to mute the strings properly
and quickly.
yes, the quick part was the problem.
and by the time i got home
my brain was fried. yay.oh yes, happy birthday john and kc.john, i hope you enjoyed the free waxing job. hahahaha. oh yea, and i had a cool dream last night.hahahahahahahahaha. it was uber unexpected.but im happy.so i didnt go sch today. bye.lets have a picture.
Friday, August 12, 2005
i. give. up.
yes, i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up.
i can never be anyone to you.
you ignore me
and i know you dont give a fuck anymore.
you have someone new-
oooh, it's a rat.
yea, so why should i bother anymore?
when at the end of it all it's just gonna be like this forever.
i despise myself for being weak.
i despise you for ever liking me.
maybe if we never knew each other it would've been alot different.
and you can go run along with the rat.
i hate myself for all the stupid things i said to you.
yay.
If you find yourself here
On my side of town
I pray that you'd come to my door
And talk to me
Like you don't know
What we ever fought about
I don't remember anymore
so it seems today is a good day for not going to school.
i stayed at home doing my art and pretty soon i have to do my prelim papers.
i have four to do by sunday 2pm.
arrgh.
i feel so lost trying to put myself into place
and honestly, im not sure if i know how to study smartly or properly.
i just make notes for everything
and i dont know if it actually gets in,
cause it doesnt really help much.
fakkinnnn.
yea, so i havent put up the national day pics yet.
but it's not like i can be bothered with a lot anymore.
and maybe that's why i've decided to go for Novena tmr morning.
yes, MORNING.
everything will be alright.
everything will be alright.
be strong, believe.
what a bunch of lies.
I HATE THIS YEAR.
motherfucking everything.im so bound onto you. please please please let me go.
i dont wanna wait for forever.
i dont even wanna wait till after the o's or ANYMORE.
but yet i cant help it.
i want to move on, but im too helpless when it comes to that.
yeaaaaaaaaap, nothing's right.
HA. okay, bye.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
yesterday:okay, went to watch fireworks with donnand andy and fabian were somewhere around.donn has to learn to bring a smaller bagSO THAT I DONT HAVE TO CARRY AROUND FOR HER.and it feels weird not seeing ally for a few days;like, the whole weekend plus monday and the national day breaks.and im annoyed cos my tutor keeps postponning our tuitions.I NEED TUITION PLEASE.okay, im still feeling a bit tired from yesterday.esplanade was so fucking crowded.and i couldn even take the mrt to orchard after that.yea, eventually met up with the gayboys.and spencer was seriously being gay.wear make up, stuffed boxes at his chest, carry marie's handbag,tie his fringe, act all gay.YUP. it was quite hilarious.but my camera died before i could take the fullness of it.DAMN.anyway, im too lazy to upload pics now.will do it later.so today will be the day i study. i woke up fucking late though.
yes anyway, today will be my study holiday.
i WILL study.
yes. and i'll plan what i must accomplish.fuck procrastination!sly had three doughnuts again.im vexed.
okay, bye.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
happy national day, all.
okay, photos for the happenings of yesterday.
i think so this is coolio.
ooh, fireworks. wowwww.
cheerleaders. yay. gayboys.okay, yea. so im stuck at home and feeling unhappy.more photos are in photos2.BYE.
Monday, August 08, 2005
another night with himbut im always wanting you.it's sad that it's always someone else.will you come homeand stop this pain tonight?just stop this pain tonight.it's sad that the healing has to hurti will find a way without you.amen to that.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
yes, so i'll post some photos to summarise yesterday
okay, i had to put this up here. haha. it's my bitch.
i had to take some photos for a gay band.
they are Vernacular Misunderstandings.
this is what they do for kicks. wreck things. haha.anyway, i got more photos up from yesterday. in 'photos2'.you know what? so much for thinking im gonna get better soon. so much for thinking it's all gonna be okay. it's not gonna be okay. not for a very long time. i feel it building in me slowly, i dont know when the ugly head of the monster appears again and tears all that is holding me up down. i dont know what im doing anymore. please someone, make me study. please someone, give me something to do. just to get my mind off you.it's a damn cold nighttrying to figure out this life.wont you take me by the hand;take me somehere new,i dont know who you are but im, im with you.
Friday, August 05, 2005
haha, you suck. hahahahahahahahahahaha.and you dont even know it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.you think you're funny and cuteeeee. but it's only sickening.and you think you're cooooool. but you're not. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
oh kaput, please stop it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.and the best part is...HE DOESNT LIKE YOU BACK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.cos you annoy and irritate. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.say this with me majo! 'slut. seduce. my. friend.'wooott!i feel better now. anyway, you all still can vote for the nicer off shoulder blouse design in the prev entry. happy birthday shaun joseph!
OKAY, stop voting for the vernacular misunderstandings shirt design!it's been decided that the butterfly one is going up. yesyes.so now, vote for the better OFF SHOULDER BLOUSE design.sorry, im fickled and andy doesnt help much. HAHA.oh yes, special mention here, sylvester was the one who gave me the idea for the butterflies on vernacular misunderstandings shirt. yupp. i cant take all the credit.so which one? the first or second one? VOTE AGAIN! 
so tell me, are we having fun yet?
Thursday, August 04, 2005
BUT there has been alot of debate on which one is better,
what is nicer and so on.
so...
here i give you all the priviledge of voting for which one is the better one.
with or without the butterfly?with or without the skull?VOTE NOW ON MY TAG BOARD!annonymous people are allowed to vote too.
today is a good day,
cause i didnt go to school.
anyway, im having my lunch now
and the chicken tastes weird.
like it's half cooked.
woow.
okay, anyway, i was just thinking to myself.
what if there was no such thing as money?
does that mean everything'd be free?
will there be an outbreak of poverty or will everyone be "rich"?
oh well,
no matter what,
man will be man and continue their evil deeds.
boys will be boys and
girls will break free from male chauvinist pigs.
yay.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
okayokay, all is good.
oh yea, i spent a few hours in taka today looking for art stuff.
i think the place is uber cool,
practically the whole level has art stuff and a toy shop. haha.
but i think my mom got a bigger kick out of it.
she was starring at feathers and bottles on the shelves for ages.
oh yea, and they sell rabbit skin too,
it was damn stinky and gross lah.
finally we could get out.but as soon as we went to kinokuniya,i spent a longer time there than my mom at the art shop.cos i couldnt deicide which notebook i wanted to use as my diary.yea, remember i had a diary that went missing? so yea.i took uber long to choose.cos it was either the binding was yellow or the cover was lousy or the inside was shitty.yea, and then i had to choose post-it notes,the colours werent very nice, so i had to take a long time to choose.yeayea, im indecisive and a perfectionist when it comes to appearances.unfortunately, it doesnt apply to my work or the way i look.HAHA.okay, how eventful.oh, and joshua cho is a good person to confide in,cos you get to hear his stories.HELLO CLAIRE ALEXIS CHUA WEI SHI!how about a picture? wait, a few pictures! 
i like this. haha.
donn's puke! HAHAHAHA!
stayed home today cause i was sick yesterday.
psychosmatic they call it,
go read it up yourself.
watched some tv just now,
billy was on tv.
it made me happy.
i am feeling quite alright
considering most of everything is a mess.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
GOODBYE TO YOU AND ALL YOUR FUCKING LIES.you were just like the others.liars: they dont play a big part of my life.
here are some song lyrics say a lot about how i feel now. and i hope, your majesty,that you like your position. i thought it be easy but no one believes me.i meant all the things that i said. im sorry, im sorry im not sure. Water fills these open eyes tonight we flyStill frames and valentinesWon't keep me in her mindDear black goodbye, Dear black goodbyeI know it's hard to make this workWhen you're all alone alone. i will find a way without you
Monday, August 01, 2005
despite allisonfire and shimamab tan not coming to school.
anyway, i finished my black layer for art everyone!
so that's a great thing.
and i was observing some woman at the school's bus stop today.
she noticed me looking down at her. shit.
and offered me to sit down, next to her.
oh yes, the bus driver gave me a five cent discount on bus fare
though i was about to put in more money. haha.
and it didnt rain today! yay.
but through it all, i still feel the subliminal pain from inside.
i detest myself for letting you get in my thoughts all the time.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
I THINK I HAVE INSOMIA.
I DONT THINK ANYONE WILL READ THIS NOW.
BUT IF YOU DO,
PLEASE CALL ME.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
where i can scream and nobody can hear.
that's what i'll do,
and i'll erase all good from the past.
goodbye to redundant words spoken,
goodbye to believing,
goodbye to trusting,
goodbye to hope;
hello nonexistent happiness.
and i dont know what to do,
cause i'll never be with you.
im sorry im sorry, im not sure.
by the way
new photos are up on 'photos2'.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
i dont want to trust anymore.
when im unhappy or troubled,
i immerse myself in books.
i've been reading a lot lately;
the whole day today, actually.
cause i couldnt bring myself to face anyone outside my house.
please someone help me,
im dying here in front of you.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
to view them, please wait 284234632391273 hours
before clicking on 'photos2' to view them
cause my computer is UBER SLOW AND FUCKING KILLING ME.
omg, please help.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
woke up. grumpy. fell asleep. woke up. grumpy. toilet. breakfast. into the car. school. boring. classes. copy notes. more note copying. grumpy. recess. chickennnnn. free periods. annabel chow. globalization. video. male chauvinist pigs. blood. ughhhh. abuse. blood. pakistan. surgery. rights. justice. pack bag. skipped test. wasted paper. heartbrokened. pissed off. bus. home.
oh yes, happy racial harmony day.
by wearing costumes you understand your friend's race and culture better.
YEA RIGHT.
it's like a fashion show.
i hate the men in pakistan who are STUPID.
will elaborate next time.
okay, bye.
Monday, July 18, 2005
okay, im finally online.
but my mom is finally home.
GREAT.
so much for updating this trash website.
anyway, baybeats on satureday was great.
but copeland didnt play till sunday.
that's fucked up, no?
night study begins tonight.
I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN!
ally, you're a christmas elf
and if you wear glasses,
you'll be a grandma christmas elf.
i will just be a demon.
AND IF I FALL I'LL TAKE IT ALL
my thumb is numb.
hey that rhymes.
anyway, stupid chemicals in the bio lab made it numb.
and oranges were good.
yay.
IT'S SO EASY AFTER ALL.
marjie!
majella TAN, i am NOT A MALAY!
I DONT HAVE MALAY BLOOD.
peranakan is not counted.
AND IM SO DILUTED WITH CHINESE THAT I CANT BE MALAY.
okay, so im a bit stupid.
and i'll tell you what people from brunei are called,
BRUNIES.
hahahahahahahahahahaha.
BY THE WAY, MY WORDS ARE FADING.
now, with your pencils and loaded staplers,
STAB ME.
okay, bye!
RATHER WASTE SOME TIME WITH YOU
Monday, July 11, 2005
ally's birthday and shaun's departure.
i created a new photo album acct thingy with yahoo.
cause it's so much easier to upload
and everyone can view them now without a username or anything.
so yea, they are under 'photos2'.
im gonna see good charlotte tmr!
BILLY OH BILLY!
hahaha, if not for him, i wouldnt care so much. HAHA.
okay, bye.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
i find people stupid.
yesterday was great,
i hope ally had a happy birthday.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
i actually wanted to go to school today!
HAHAHAHAHA.
this positivity and motivation thing is really doing smth to me.
WOW.
haha! but guess what.
I HAD DIARRHOEA AT 12.48AM THIS MORNING
yup, and there i sat in the toilet for a good half an hour.
i thought i would've been over by six this morning,
but the moment i opened my eyes to stop my alarm from ringing,
i had to sit in the toilet again.
and i'd go back to sleep again to be woken at 11.30am
and this went on till i decided to give in to waking up.
and i cant believe the moment i poured cereal into my bowl,
i took it straight up to my table to do my art
AND i even dragged my bio book and school bag.
with all this motivation, i feel happy now. hahahaha.
and im not even stressed out.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha. yay.
by the way, MY SHIT WAS MOSSY GREEN IN COLOUR. WOOOOOTT!
now tell me,
are we having fun yet, kids?
okay, bye!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
omg, im so happy with this.
i hope it sticks with me till my very last paper this year.
yay! 
there's geog after school tmr; how depressing.
and my maid's making jelly for me,
cause my damned ulcer prevents me from eating a lot of snacks.
yay, okay!
next!
have you ever turned around just to see who's behind you
and it so happen it turned out to give you a big shock
so you ended up turning back as quickly as you could?
hahaha, okay, so i thought the toady man wasnt right behind me.
but it's not like i screamed in his face or jump?
oh well...
END!
Monday, July 04, 2005
beautiful billy, you are.
i think everyone should read the strait's times 3rd july'05 issue
the one on grading dads in asia.
much truth's been spoken.
yay, no school today.
i feel so liberated!
but i know i should be studying.
so i guess i'll do it later.
okay, i gotta get rid of my habit of procrastination.
NEXT!
i got to watch the diary of good charlotte this morning.
billy martin was so hot in it.
haha! the rest can just buzz off.
i think so- that billy is a really great guitarist.
i mean, he's wasting his time in good charlotte who's playing pop punk.
and the weirdest thing is that it's hardly punk anymore.
it's so pop and songs like 'i just wanna live' makes me wanna throw eggs at joel madden.
oh well, i guess what they're doing in the media earns them hell lots of cash.
and that's what matters most to artists now more recently.
in the beginning, it was purely originality, good instruments and vox coming together just for the love of music and hoping to make it really big.
but now on the media, it's sex and violence.
this is what kids watch on tv;
pure bullshit.
anyway, i dont know what im going on about.
and my dad's home early-
too early.
damn, im starving but i cant eat cause my ulcer hurts.
everything i eat has to be soft and mushy so i dont have to chew so much;
this sucks.
bonjella anyone?
Sunday, July 03, 2005
no tuition,
no long and dreary classes on friday and monday.
how i love being a youth. haha.
unfortunately,
i have an ulcer.
i really bugs me.
i hurts with the smallest movements of my jaw.
anyway,
i feel like putting pictures up.
but i didnt even take any today.
boringggg.
however, i did some blogskins for people.
check out maj's and ivan's.
i am so bored now.
so if anyone wants a blog revamp i'd be quite happy to do it.
oh yes, new pictures in my imagestation are up.
Friday, July 01, 2005
it's uber good.
and i had something in my eye at those really sweet scenes.
majella is a stupid idiot;
she thinks a lot like love was a lot like shit.
oh well, she doesnt know anything.
and is it just me or is love in the air?
it's quite annoying after a while watching people get all mushy mushy.
hahahahahahahahahaha.
but maybe im just a childish twit.
oh well, too bad.
sue me.
im gonna put pictures of today's youth day celebrations up later on my imagestation.
snarfblat!
okay, END!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
usually i love thursdays.
if i went down 5 minutes earlier for recess i wouldnt be starving and having noodles;
i'd have my chicken, but noooo.
i had to go to the toilet to take a piss.
and then during two periods of chinese i didnt take the opportunity to sleep,
even though they are free periods for me.
by the way, i take chinese b, so dont wish me luck for any orals, you dummies.
and the next two periods were bio lessons.
apparently, the menstrual cycle stuff is a difficult chapter
and i just couldnt pay attention cos i was occupied with trying to stay awake
and trying to hide my face when i could sleep.
great.
down the drain, i go.
anyway, i think some guy is damn stupid.
if i were him, i'd kill myself to rid the dumbness.
his name spells
'FuckinIdiotAndNumbskull'
literally.
note the capital letters; even his name is dumb.
ho gawwd.
anyway, tmr is a half day.
but we have to stay back to do bio prac.
i sorta really very much wanna run away after school.
fuck this.
okay, END!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
hate hearing. i told you i was tired of your pretence, i told you that i do give a damn about everything you say. i told you to be honest, i told you to be serious and sincere. but for my sake, you lied over and over again to me. it's so obvious. how do i know? cause you told your friend you didnt have feelings anymore, and you said it so reluctantly. and i asked you again, you said yes. now you're telling me 'maybe' and 'i dont know'. it's typically you. and i dont know whether it's over or if we are stagnant or if there is a chance in future. but really, thank you for saving me.honestly tell me that it's over.
yea, school was shitful today.
i cant wait for friday and saturday.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
so i'll summarize and make this graphikal.
okay, today is veekay's birthday.
we wanted to surprise her,
but thanks to john's vocal cords and aileen's stranggling,
they made enough noise to give away the surprise.
oh yes, neek and maj had a great idea of buying ice cream for veeks
and while returning, veekay saw them.
so neek, you get the honours of having your photo up first.
isnt this the best candid shot ever of neek?
pre-surprise picture; marjie, me, aileen.
veekay cutting her nydc oreo cheesecake.
who's this clown you wonder? well, i didnt put any solo pictures of ashes up on the last entry cause i was rushing and i forgot. so this one's it.
yup, the rest are in my imagestation.
im uploading those pictures now,
so it'll take awhile if you read this right after i press publish.
oh yes,
isnt this wedding cake strange? haha.
courtesy of Stefii's Blooms & Crafts. yes, my mom's flower shop did this. but it isnt real. some people just like decorative unedible cakes. how weird. but anyhow, my mom's shop was given a blue theme. and this is what they came up with.
okay, END!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
and looks like not the whole world is happy.
esp since the hols are ending.
gees, i found a bad time to be happy.
but anyway! i decided to put a few pics up as some comic relief.
haha. please smile alright.
AHHH!
pimp'in it!
these photos speak for themselves.
i admit, we did drink. just a littleeee bit.
HAHAHAHA. stupid boys!
kuku!
margaritas lah, that's why like that.
bea? must be the margaritas.
HAHAHA. HELLO JOHN!
HALLO? HAAAALLO! hahahahahahaha!
NOW EVERYBODY!
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
i think this was my best spent sunday afternoon.
went for legion in the morning then attended mass.
thanks ashes, for the bracelet from phuket.
i think it's cool though it kinda hurts
when the shells pinch the hairs on my arm. haha.
i wish i could say what went on for the first half of it
but it is a surprise for veekay.
oh yes, and neek thinks that bohemian is cool.
YUCK.stupid colourful rubbishy ah mah stuff!
haha. but thanks to me, veekay's present is saved!
yay. okay.
well, before that,
neek, cc, brendan and i went to taka for lunch.
i tell you solemnly, dont eat from that stupid jap place next to the thai restaruant.
it isnt worth eating there cos the rice sucks
and they only have six salmon slices on the whole bowl of yucky rice.
oh, but we got a "complimentary" dish of salmon fish cakes.
although i didnt eat any at all cos i was against the idea of eating the free food.
yea, it pretty much was a bigass mistake made by the lousy waiters.
it wasnt on our bill and we didnt even order it at all,
but they put it on our table anyway.
maybe cause half the time cc was flirting with the waitress.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
stupid boy was going...
i love you! i love you! behind his hands.
he thought that the waitress would think it was neek flirting.
all the flippant ideas he comes up with.
by the way, the waitress looked around forty or the late thirties.
oh well...
so we went down to get veekay's present and after much arguing, left.
neek had to go for soccer and i didnt wanna go home.
so the three of us went to penin to look for vans slip-ons.
there wasnt any variety at all.
i only saw one out of the millions of boring nike/adidas/puma/converse shoes.
im getting pretty sick of converse alrdy, yea.
so we left for bras basah cause cc wanted to get his bass pick-thingy,
gees, i cant even remember what he bought. haha, anyway...
cc had a brilliant idea.
cc and i wanted to run off while brenny was looking at some guitars
but he turned around just as we left swee lee's. damn.
and guess what we saw while going up the escalator?
some freakazoid footwear!
this guy was wearing some green rubber slipper thingys.
i dont even know what the hell it was, but...
it was really uncool and ugly.
so brenny went off to find his shop that prints posters
and cc and i went to some really cool bookshop.
seriously, it's so happening. haha.
yes, a bookshop. a uber cool one, okay.
they have these manymanymany books filled with design techniques,
photography pointers, photoshop pointers, typograhpy guides, books of different logos and so so so much more. it also had all these cool books with graphics and drawings and designs in them.
i tell you, it is just damn cool shit.
yea, then we left the building and went to cheers to get a drink.
stupid cc is alrdy eighteen so he was happily sipping his barcardi breezer.
while brendan and i had to stick with the old school stuff.
haha, and while brendan was in a kodak shop trying to print a poster.
cc and i tried to spite his drink.
yes, cc has all these evil ideas to punk his brother.
i put some coke inside his lemon drink
and cc put some of his breezer inside.
we were dying to get him to come out and drink it.
but too bad he couldn tell the difference after drinking the whole bottle.
hahhahaha. but it was dead funny anyway.
yea, and that was the end of the whole fiesta.
now, im enjoying my siesta.
it is quite fun and im strangely
not affected by the fact school starts tmr.
wait, i still wince at the fact i have to wake up at 6am
and i have science prac.
wouldnt it be nice if i could do art the whole day?
SHIT, i didnt collect my black paper for papercut or my prep work.
so im a bit screwed tmr.
whooopee.
okay,
END!
just thought i'd do a simple test on how i can feature certain photos
without the uploading program
well, if this photo doesnt come out
then i'll just leave with this paragraph of a song
ponytail parades- emery
i could wait for you forever,
if you'd just ask me.
i thought that i could change you,
but you changed me.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
i cant even be bothered to continue with my earlier statements.
i dont feel that rush to make the world such a great place anymore.
sure i want poverty and dying to end,
but sometimes you realise that
with this world we live in at the present era,
we are going nowhere.
do people think that God coming down to earth
or sending another saviour will help?
why go through more pain and suffering
when we can stop the present pain now with our actions?
God's not gonna come down and be all nice like Jesus.
He's gonna take away a lot of the good.
people think it's impossible,
but think about it...
Someone's doing major earth wiping.
the tsunamis, earthquakes, etc.
of course we sinners wont perish immediately.
there are always signs.
alright, enough. im making myself nervous.
and if you all are wondering how on earth
i can switch my happy mood to this
'i-am-depressed-cause-people-are-dying' stage.
maybe it's cause there are certain killjoys out there.or just one.
who stomp on your happy day with the most immature of words.
im childish?
sure, i act pretty darn childishly,
but hey, look at your fucking maturity, you BASTARD.
that's why my life has positivity unlike you.
and im at a better position right now in life.
stupid eurasian boy.to think i actually could care about your well-being.
sorry to all my eurasian friends, yea.
yay, i feel much better.
and im actually smilingthough i feel i can just vomit now.
okay, that's the end.
i promise my favourite song is now 'blue and yellow'.
and i bet i'll get sick of it.
okay, the hols are ending.
i still have a hell lot of unfinished homework.
i am never gonna complete it.
i cant believe jeannine finished it though.
okay, no surprise, she didnt get out much.
anywayyy...
NEXT!
isnt this a great morning to wake up early?
no mom at home,
no dad at home,
brother is still asleep.
what peace and serenity i have at home today.
apart from the flower arrangers downstairs and their chinese music,
and the disturbing facts on teevee and elsewhere that the world is dying.
speaking of which...
i was watching mtv yesterday
good charlotte came on with their 'we believe' video,
of course billy martin was in it looking all hot and very sexzy,
but that's not the point.
the point is that there are so many people in the world that believes
believes in ending poverty,
believes in love,
believes in chairty,
basically everyone, with the exception of a few,
believes in making the world a better place.
isnt it possible?
everyone is always talking about how they should donate to charity,
how they should pray more,
how someday the world will be a better place.
but i dont see it, sorry.
i see the world going downhill,
i see leaders being selfish; where d'you think the money from charity went to?
anyway,
i have to be quick...
WE CANT JUST RELY ON GOD.
okay, i'll say more later.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
im "talking" to nigel on msn now.
on that audio thingy.
but i have no idea where my microphone is
cause this isnt really my computer.
and so im just listening to him.
it's quite annoying,
cause i feel like talking yet i cant.
kaaaaputt!
anyway, for some reason...
i was uberly happy last night.
i have no idea why
but ooooh wheee!
happy happy happy.
and for the first time in so many weeks
i actually meant i was happy.
not just smile-smile happy.
but really,
jumping-for-joy-and-grinning-too-widely-and-i-wanna-kiss-you
kinda way.
one reason is cause i might,
just MIGHT,
get to meet BILLY MARTIN in person.
and i'll cross my fingers and my toes
that i'd get to meet him.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
and that's why im thanking JULES KANG
for his efforts.
yup, God's been really good to me.
maybe i should talk to Him more at night.
thank you, Jesus! haha.
and yes... the other reason why i was so high
was cause of lesliepeslie,
thank you for being part of my life, though you'll never read this.
but for some reason,
feeling all happy
and i actually feel normal
like what a perfectly normal person would feel like...
it allows me to feel 'scared'.
cause last night
andy lim moh kheng decided to call me after reading my message.
and it was 2am or smth.
and told me some stupid fake "ghost" story.
and i kinda got that adrenaline rush.
that thrill you get from freaking spooky stories.
and it was the first time in such a long time that i felt that thrill.
i used to buy stupid russell lee's true ghost stories
just to scare myself cause i felt bored.
but i never got any kicks.
and finally, by some miracle, i got it.
and they used andy as a delievery boy.
who's 'they' anyway?
well, i made some wedding invitations today for her shop's company
apparently my mom thinks they are very nice.
but too big.
DAMMIT!
plus... the materials cost thirty dollars.
bloody hell.spotlight really knows how to rip people off.
im sticking to popular and kinokuniya!
haha. and i have a sudden urge to shop.
like seriously shop.
not walk-around-and-look-at-what-i-like-then-come-back-the-next-day-and-buy-it
kinda thing.
yes, im that much of a lousy girl.
and i dont usually try on clothes unless i intend on buying them.
now you understand the meaning of
'i actually feel normal'.
okay, so im not completely normal at some things still
and i dont know how long these feelings will last.
i hope for a long time.
oh, and i dont like feeling scared too much.
it pisses me off how wussy i can get.
but yet, IT'S SO FUN AND COOL!
HAHAHAHA.
i met sarah and debo again today, shaunna was there too.
met them at the youth park for summer's over and force vomit's gig.
i didnt get to watch it in the end though
cause it got delayed
and i was out only to buy some art materials to make the cards for my mom.
yea, so after watching maia lee
and rolling my eyes several times at her and jamie yeo,
we decided to leave and go to this place at #12 devonshire road
cos sarah had to pay a hundred bucks for some classes there.
and can i interrupt your reading pleasure here to say
that nigel keeps making fun of me
cause i cant talk and i have to type to reply him, bahh!
OKAY, HI! where was i? OH YES...
after going to devonshire
we went to spotlight at ps.
and sarah and i decided to run away from debo and shaunna.
cause they were being so weird. hahaha!
and after buying the stuff,
they walked back to youth park to watch the gigs going on,
but i decided to go home.cause i dont think anyone takes two hours just to buy art stuff.
while crossing the road i decided to call majo,
she supp to come to my house but she didnt call me back.
she happened to be in specialist centre.
and my house is just behind specialist centre,
and i so happened to be walking past it.
so yea, met her there and we bought famous amos cookies.
maj made a VERY RACIST comment on the DOUBLE FUDGE COOKIES.
well, just look at them and then you'll know what i mean.
speaking of racist comments...
i wonder who was the LEADER OF THE RACIST GANGSTER SKIT IN CON3.
MWAHAHAHAHA! oooooh marjieeeeeee?
hahahahaha.
yupp, i sat there with here till about six plus.
honestly, majo makes me uberly happy
with her stupidity and lameness.
hahaha. im tickled lah.
yupp. then i went home and made a huge mess on my bedroom floor.
and my godparents came to my house!
shitttt, and took a tour of the new place.
then when they looked in my room...
and WHOA.
haha, i think my dad is pissed.
cause i cut some heart shaped paper on the parque/wooden floor
with my penknife.
so now there are some "hearts" carved onto the floor.
oh poo.
yupp, and nigel lee is making stupid comments on his microphone now!
but i cant do nothing about it.
bahhh.
that's all for now i guess,
yes, i told you so it was a longgg entry.
now, SCRAM!
haha. bye.
my blog is officially
ON FIRE.
billy martin and frank iero!
WOOT.
okayokay.
and before i sleep,
i'd like to say
THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
to JULES KANG!
you bastard!
i mean... GREAT FRIEND!
OMG! i seriously dont know what's your problem.
now i owe you a treat!
HAHAHAHA!
end!
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
WE HAD FUN.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
today i went to sarah's,
it wasnt all that fun
and kim and her tried to stuff me with oily chicken!
not that im a healthfood freak, but seriously...
haha.
and we went to topshop by bus though we could've just walked.
and i was bored cos i didnt wanna try on clothes.
okayyyyyyy.
NEXT!
buy more berms.
buy new shoes.
buy a new bag for fuck's sake.
buy more berms for everyone's sake.
stop eating so much junk.
start doing my homework.
OOH, he's SO HOTTTTT. yes, stop thinking about m*******!
HAHAHHAA.
stop dreaming of billy martin;
start finding ways to meet him.
start studying!
buy my berms so i wont be such a scamp.
have i mentioned i needed berms?
i am feeling bloated but still unsatisfied.
i didnt have my kaya toast in the end!
kaaaaaput!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
but i've said enough
by the way, your hands are shaking.
rather waste some time with you.
yes, my hols are pretty much a big fat waste.
Monday, June 20, 2005
im very sick of looking at this template.
im gonna make it white this time,
without the fakking blur words to piss me off.
alright, lets do this!
i had one of the most unpleasant sleep last night.
i promise i dont like the rain, though it's such a necessity.
when it rains,
i somehow feel like as if all these bad thoughts run through my brains.
im hardly scared of anything,
but the rain somehow agitates me.
a light drizzle is fine as long as it doesnt come splattering down loudly.
i really hate it.
i used to be fucking scared when i was a lot younger;
i'd cry and hide in a corner till someone came to carry me.
i used to hate showers;
it meant water pouring over my face and drowning me.
maybe it was partly cause i didnt know how to breathe through my mouth.
anyway,
i still hate water on my face if it comes down as a shower of water droplets.
it makes my eyes twitch thinking about it.
today is a beautiful day.
i will stay at home to enjoy the serenity.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
i am wrong.
today is not a good day.
though it started out fine.
it kinda escalated to a bad end.
my oh my,
how my life sucks.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
i thought we'd all die.
but looks like im wrong, again.
yay!
this has been the happiest thing so far.
well, i think i should have done alot of studying.
cause now im stressed thinking of the uncompleted homework and consequences.
arrgh.
but today was great.
the stupid war games really messed me up though.
i hate water everywhere if im not in a swimming pool.
and the amount of plastic bags were loads.
wasted water, wasted plastic.
i think im gonna die thinking of all the wasted stuff.
shit.
DONT THINK.
not now, not today.
tmr is gonna be a good day.
yes.
okay, im bored all.
be sure to see the uploaded pics from the camp tmr night.
im uploading pictures of tonight's fullerton buffet.
but it's taking super long,
so go see later when im done.
i dont wanna talk about it
cause im in love with you.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
i think lesbianism and homosexuality is dead stupid and desperate.
i am tired,
i am bored,
i have a hell lot of undone homework.
i still feel messed up.
hello?
another useful sign please?
guess not.
useless.
useless.
useless.
tomorrow is gonna be one hell of a stupid day.
useless!
i kinda wanna sleep now.
but it's not like it'll do me any good.
some people are so uncool.
some people are too cool.
some people are so stupid.
some people are brilliant.
please give me a temporary high.
i need some stuffs.
i want some stuffs.
how stupid can i get?
stuffs?!
what a stupid word.torn between two stupid things in life.
i dont have time for this now.
my youth is going down the drain.
im wasting it.
please let me see you soon.
it's been too fucking long.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Note To Self:
focus.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
please go and die
so that i can enjoy my miserable life the way it is.
im already trying to work everything out;
im trying to pull everything into place by myself.
please stop acting like everyone knows me.
i dont need anyone to tell me what i should or should not do.
dont come calling me a fuckwit if you are assuming to be smart,
dont come calling me out to study if you're not making it,
dont tell me my home is in a glam area;
a home has a family in it that communicates,
and dont tell me im better off than 90234978 people in the world who are worse off than me
cause im self-centred and i care only for myself;
just like everyone else in this world.
if you want something from me just ask,
you dont need to do any favours for me then exploit me.
i dont need any sympathy;
i just want everyone to shut up.yours truly
nat
Note To Self:
now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be
so together, but so broken up inside.
Monday, June 13, 2005
this is sad.
i have resulted to this bad pop song
but it really says a hell lot.
I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off all the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
I never put wet towels on the floor anymore cause
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you'll see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I pick up the paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain I saw a movie,
It just was wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
And it made me miss you oh so bad
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you'll see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
I go about my business I'm doin' fine
Besides what would I say
If I had you on the lineSame old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick up a book and, turn the sheets down and
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pjs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try to tell myself it'll be alright
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight
Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon I know you'll see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Yeah
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Note To Self:
i miss you terribly.
Friday, June 10, 2005
good.
i didnt screw it up,
so stop thinking.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
You said hi
you wanted to talk about things that you should know
i never meant to run or hide
i just didnt think that it was time for you to know
im stuck at the crossroads im waiting to choose,
im hoping it wont lead back to you,
our journey is over, our time is up, just give it up
So where do we go from here or end,
we were never lovers
just more than friends,
please take your shirts,
your smiles arent working no more
Before you go,
i just want you to know,
i burnt all the things you wrote,
i never meant to let this pass
i just didnt think that this happiness would last
come take a look at these tired eyes
believe me i cannot even cry,
if i could i would,
so tell me, if i should.
-a vacant affair
listen to 'how about enough'
i guess this is the sign that i've been waiting for after so long.
im in my new house
i still cant believe this is my new house.
i have an ulcer.
it became larger over the last week.
i've licked it several times with my tongue;
feeling it carefully,
disecting the pain.
it's actually like a depression in my mouth.
and i realised,
my life is an ulcer.
by the way,
my ulcer is called 'tommy'.
Note To Self:
so much for thinking it will be alright.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
im not overseas.
i have simply moved to somerset.no need to miss me;
you'll see me in school or around town.
Note To Self:
movers are smelly and sweaty.
Monday, June 06, 2005
it's truly evident.
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM MOVING HOUSE TMR!
IM GOING TO LIVE IN TOWN.
IM GOING TO LIVE IN A SHOP HOUSE.
THERE WILL BE A BAR TOP IN MY HOUSE
I WILL BE NEAR TO CILVILISATION.
I WILL HAVE A HUGE-ASS PERSONAL BATHROOM;
COMPLETE WITH A TUB AND SHOWER.
I WILL HAVE MY OWN ROOM WITH A REAL DOOR;
I WILL FINALLY HAVE PRIVACY.
MY ROOM IS NOT ON THE SAME LEVEL AS MY BROTHER OR PARENTS;i can talk on the phone without my parents hearing me late at night.
MY ROOM WILL NOT BE BLUE ANYMORE;
MY ROOM WILL BE PURPLE WITH COOL CURTAINS.MY MOM ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO CHOOSE CURTAINS.
I WILL HAVE AIR CON IN MY ROOM.
IM GETTING A NEW BED;
NO MORE SOFA BED.
but why dont i feel overjoyed?
i cant tell.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
i feel diseased.
i feel pain.
i feel unwell.
i feel broken.
i feel unhappy.
i feel asphyxiated.
i feel angry.
i feel torn.
i feel stupid.
i feel dead.
i feel emo.
i despise myself.
Note To Self:
i need you to
carry me to the end.
Friday, June 03, 2005
cos im stressing out again and constantly feeling upset.
great.
and we're supp to study at least 8hours a day.
very good.
i'll just get sars or something at that rate.
yay, then i'll die and that's the end of my problems.
oh wait, there's purgatory.
i'll prolly have to stay there for 237358234 years
cause im destined for more shit even after i die.
okay, i better not say that.
im sorry, God.
i dont know why im so paranoid about everything nowadays
and i esp dunno why i feel everything is due to karma or some shit.
i dont even believe in karma!
stupidity!
and the yesterdays were so much better.
if only we could go back.
can i be your memory?
Note To Self:
everything good comes with the price of pain
im a coward, i am unsure.
and im still running on empty;
disillusioned i am.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
click on triggerhappy.
Note To Self:
wouldnt it be nice if we were older?
then we wouldnt have to WAIT SO LONG.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
it's like every strand of hair on my head is being pulled out.
since i woke up this morning
i already felt like a thin piece of tracing paper
that would be blown away by the slightest wind.unfortunately, that didnt happen.
everything is just happening too fast.
i did better than my final's last year,
but i still feel like shit.
all i have on my mind is stupid guides
stupid prelims and o'levels
the fact that i didnt get at least a B3 for art
and stupid guides
stupid holiday homework
more stupid holiday homework
stupid guides
stupid bunch of problems
that disturbing dream i had last night
and stupid guides.
seriously, i dont even know when the next meeting is.
yes, im irresponsible and i hardly care.
i hate these stupid shits.
i wish i could make my problems dissipate.
and i decided i dont have a best friend or anyone like that.
of course i have good friends.
but i just cant bring myself to call anyone my best friend anymore
and maybe, i wont need feel like i should always submit to someone else's joy.
it's like having a boyfriend,
or maybe my boyfriends were not very good,
and i would have less problems to deal with.
and it's amazing how there's actually one person who feeds me with happiness.
and i myself thought there was nothing left.
Note To Self:
trust is the hidden blade.
Monday, May 30, 2005
and bury me
today im going to get my results back.
im going to see how badly i did for my L1R5.
great.
now im going to be deprived of a new phone
and a good holiday.
fuckfuckfuck.
i am in a mess.
i dont know why i feel so pissed nowadays.
forget it.
go read the stuff there.
im too lazy to copy and paste.
Note To Self:
take a shower,
buy a new life.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
all 'cause of it,
sixteen years-of-age is screwed up!
AHH! fuck it.
Friday, May 27, 2005
yes. have a happy birthday.
i love you very much!
my birthday is in months time.
but it looks like i'll be studying my ass off on that day.
how cruel.
i'd like to say that there's a new person
who has been confirmed on my 'i-hate-you-so-die-now' list.
she's no other than our slit-eyed principal.
she told donn to stay away from ally,
if she's her best friend,
so that ally can study and concentrate.
wtf?
it's ally's own abilities that she does well or not.